Courage's Adventures in Wonderlands
by Chris Gammon
Summary: Co-written by Gareth Paul Barsby! In this epic continuation, Courage must traverse the realms of imagination and the depths of his own sanity to stop an unfolding monarchy and save himself from personal damnation! Can you contain the madness?
1. Leave Out All The Rest

**To learn more, visit these amazing websites:**

freewebs .com/entertheotherworld

freewebs .com/rexcocorps

freewebs .com/otherworldfordumies

myspace .com/otherworldofficial

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Courage the Cowardly Dog and related characters are used with permission from John R. Dilworth

Otherworld and all related elements and characters used with permission from Gareth Paul Barsby

The Henderson family, Sandy, the former agents, and the K9 Krew are used with permission from Jonathan R

Misty used with permission from Tortured Artist

Alistair used with permission from CrazyCTCDFan

All other cartoon, video game, and literary characters and song lyrics are used without permission (this is not a songfic)

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Story idea and indicia copyright Gareth Paul Barsby/Rexcocorps 2008

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_The following story is a continuation of "Courage in Vegas" which can be found here (fanfiction .net/s/1502375/1/Courage in Vegas)_

_The tie in comic books an be found here (viewmorepics .myspace .com/ index .cfm?fuseactionuser .viewPicture&friendID229338065&albumId1017321)_

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**Chapter 0:The Introduction**

It was absolutely horrible…

Never in my wildest…

How could this have happened?

My god…

It would seem painfully obvious that the world wasn't completely spared from Dark Sonic's wrath as he unleashed Hell in Las Vegas. And also even more painful that this wasn't restored by Reginald and Joseph like everything else was.

But the ruins of the farm house looming before me spoke volumes. Dark Sonic had the final laugh after all…and that made me feel like vomiting on the spot.

With a sudden surge of adrenaline never before felt, I managed to catch up to Kevin's Mustang, who hadn't even reached Woodston Road.

Dashing up Montana Road as fast as my legs could carry me, Kevin obviously saw me in his mirror and skidded to a halt. He picked me up and drove back to see what I was crying about, and volunteered to take me in after all.

Misty was equally upset, as she had just begun to know Eustace and Muriel.

And thus began an adventure to end all adventures. One that would uncover a side of myself that I hoped I never had….

**ONE WEEK LATER:**

_I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared_

I lie there in bed, wide awake…

I glanced over to Sandy, sleeping peacefully. At least I thought she was asleep.

A sigh of relief escaped my lungs as I looked at her. This caught her attention and she rolled over to see if I was alright.

She noticed a slight frown on my face. "What's wrong?"

I glanced at her, feeling her eyes pull the truth from me.

"It's just that…I've been having nightmares lately. Ever since we got back from Vegas and…" I began to cry.

"Shhh. It's okay…I know you miss them…" she assured, running a paw though my spiky head fur.

"I had a nightmare where…I was the one that…that _killed_ them…"

Sandy was surprised, but at the same time, understanding. "You would never do such a thing…"

"How do you know?" I snapped. I glanced away. "Sorry…It's just, after what I did to Rex in Vegas. I…I don't know. What am I capable of? What's the line anymore?"

_After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving__  
When I'm done here  
So if you're asking me  
I want you to know_

"You did what you thought was right. And while it may seem no one agreed, everyone understood." Sandy reassured.

"It's just…I'm afraid of myself…"

"I'm not afraid of you."

I smiled at her. "Thanks, Sandy."

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some__  
Reasons to be missed  
And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory_

_Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest  
_

I kiss her and we locked stares. I knew she wanted to make me feel better, but I was enough of a gentleman to let her make the first move.

I lay there, looking into Sandy's eyes. She stares deeply into mine as well, and we know what we want to do…

Granted we did it only once before, in that Perfection town, but now, we had all the time in the world. No paranormal enemies or ticking deadlines to interrupt our moment. Yet somehow, I couldn't shake the hollow feeling in the back of my mind. It was a feeling of dread, like this will be the last time I ever do this with Sandy. The last time I'll know happiness. The last time I'll be alive…

_Don't be afraid  
I've taking my beating__  
I've shared what I've been  
I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you_

All my fears were put to rest when she kissed me. My eyes closed as I felt her tongue explore my mouth. I returned the favor, the position a bit awkward because of our muzzles. I brought my hands up to place on her back, as we embraced. I couldn't help but smile at the way she looked at me, that playful twinkle in her eye.

She reached down, all the while keeping her gaze locked on mine. She found what she was looking for, making me close my eyes and break the stare. When I opened them again, she was gone, down below to explore another part of me.

_So if you're asking me__  
I want you to know  
When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

_Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory_

_Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest  
_

I still felt a bit shy, despite the fact that we've been though this. But I guess it'll wear off in time. Until then, it added to the anticipation and excitement. Her paws expertly guiding me to arousal as what she was looking for found its way out of my fur, kept steady by the small bone within.

She was blushing too, as she took it into her paw and began moving it up and down over the flesh. Then I felt her muzzle envelope me and the warmth was too much to handle, her tongue moving like a pro.

As much as I tried to fight it, the rookie in me still couldn't hold back for long. But she happily tasted what I had to offer. I still remember the first time, she didn't know how to react to what happened, but now, she was prepared. She wanted to kiss me again, and at first I thought it was kind of gross. But in the end I accepted and it didn't taste all that bad.

_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well_

_Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are_

_When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

_Don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory  
_

I felt her warmth against my thigh, and I could tell she was in the mood now. I was already getting ready for the next round myself, as I placed her gently on her back. We kissed once again as I embraced her, or bodies writhing in passion.

I brought myself down to her area and couldn't help but swoon at the sent.

Smell is one of the deciding factors for a dog, and I could tell she was as serious about this as I was now. I brought my tongue closer to her and tasted her sweetness.

It was amazing and I almost lost it again. But I mustered up the will to hang on until the pivotal moment. I lapped hungrily at her region, and her moans of approval kept me going even faster.

Eventually, for what seemed like eternity, I tasted more of her as it flowed out.

_Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest  
_

I basked in the afterglow of tasting such sweet nectar, but she didn't give me much time to recover. She shoved me onto my back playfully and climbed up on top, her hips straddling mine.

She leaned down and we embraced another passionate kiss.

Her head lay close to mine. "_Take me…_"

I nodded and reached underneath the bed, producing an all too familiar package from a box, leaving the others as silent witness. I got ready and into position as she braced herself for our consummation. She slid slowly over and gasped as it still obviously hurt a bit. Her wide smile as she leaned to kiss me again was indication that she was satisfied.

We embraced and rolled around, our friction causing both of us to moan between breaths and kisses. She grabbed me and jerked me forward, kissing me deeply as I could tell she was nearing the end.

We rolled once again, me on top now, as she let out a squeal of joy. Her claws raked across my back, just like the last time, but I didn't care. I was nearing the end myself. I could feel the both of us become one.

She froze, a silent scream on her face. Our heartbeats synched, our breathing rhythmic and harmonized.

I could feel myself expanding the way all canine species do, making sure she wasn't going anywhere as I let go of my own pleasure.

I remember when we tied the first time, I was afraid but Sandy told me it was normal.

I grunted, and arched forward as I came, feeling her tug on me as she leaned in for another passionate embrace.

Finally, exhausted, I rolled over onto my back, bringing Sandy with me as she nuzzled under my chin.

We lay there for the longest time, basking in the afterglow until nature ran its course and freed her from my tie in about twenty minutes or so.

Perhaps someday, we can take the next step and have children. Be a family…

Until then, this was enough. Any past doubt I had was erased in the fog that swirled in my mind.

_  
Forgetting  
All the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well  
Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are_

Sleep was now in order, our scents mixing a cocktail of pleasure that lulled me into a deep sleep, knowing that she was with me on this journey.

_I can't be who you are_

_I was in a room…a children's room. In this room were several toys and such, and a small puppy in the middle of the room. _

_I approached this young pup with caution. It looked a lot like me, only a different shade of pink. He had green eyes like Sandy, and some of my features…_

_It didn't take me long to figure out who it was…_

"Daddy!" he piped up happily, running towards me.

I hugged him, feeling tears stream down my face. So _this_ was my future? I _was_ going to have a _son_!  
Nothing's going to happen. Everything's going to be fine. I'm going to have a son and a happy family! We'll go out for picnics, we'll have ballgames and sports, and I'll tuck him into bed and read bedtime stories

I looked at him, a proud fatherly look in my eyes.

But what I saw in _his_ eyes, was fear.

_Why was he afraid of me? _

"Why did you kill mommy?" he asked.

"What…" I whispered, letting him go from my embrace.

"Why did you kill mommy?" he asked again, making sure I heard him this time.

So _**this**_ was my future?

**_A possible one, yes_**. The fear left his eyes, replaced with blazing hellfire and he spoke in demonic tones. _**But this may never happen, you know.**_

I felt relief, as well as harsh tingles of fear.

_**Of course, THIS could happen.**_

A cemetery. A pet cemetery.

I knew exactly what I would find here, so all I focused on was looking for an exit. However, a familiar hooded specter appeared out of nowhere, beckoning me towards a grave. I knew exactly what it would say…

…_and I was right._

The hooded ghost – _I saw burning yellow eyes under his hood_ – pointed in the opposite direction, and _Sandy was alive_! Misty and Kevin were with her, all dressed in black.

"Poor…I can't believe he…"

I snapped awake…totally freaked out by what transpired. I look to see Sandy is still on top of me, still attached by our bond.

_What the hell was that all about? _

I drift off back to sleep, hoping that was the last nightmare I had tonight…

Courage and Rex stood side by side, facing the abomination that shared Rex's name. Apparently they both shared this vision.

Courage imagined Rex as a monster, and Rex saw himself as a monster.

Two former enemies united by a greater threat.

The monochrome backdrop of Otherworld served as the setting for a final showdown of the mind.

A faceless man in a top hat sat between two trees, sipping tea contently, despite the absence of a mouth. "This should prove to be most entertaining, and there is some irony to appreciate as well."

Some help he was.

This abomination resembled Rex in some ways, only more mechanical, bloody, and evil. Whereas the _real_ Rex had _some_ glimmer of heart and emotion, this beast had _no _conscience at all, an automaton with no purpose but to detroy.

A massive mechanical claw served as its right arm, adorned with knives for fingers, glistening with fresh blood. It seemed to emerge out of the remains of skin from the real arm, blood and rotten flesh hanging off of it.

Its tail was bones wrapped in metal, and covered in spikes. A spiked metal shell protected its body. Half its face was rotted away, as a symbol of Rex's mortality.

It seemed to be a combination of Courage's fears, Rex's fears, and Rex's self-righteous attitude about himself when he was evil.

The creature opened its mouth, revealing rows of teeth that resembled – _were_ – drills. They whirred and spun as it pounced towards Rex like a wolf, salivating at the prospect of murdering its _copy_. It tore at Rex's face with its mechanical claw. Blood seeped everywhere. Courage, feeling a rush of energy at seeing his former master this way, punched the creature in its face, causing it to scream out in pain. It tried to bite Courage's head off, but he darted behind its legs and grabbed its spiked metal tail. With strength obtained from nowhere, he flung the creature out of sight. It exploded.

"I wouldn't be celebrating just yet," said the faceless demon, emphasizing his point with sarcastic applause.

They didn't celebrate. They couldn't. A rush of pink came from nowhere and tore through Rex like a chainsaw.

He fell to the ground, dead.

The pink blur stopped to show itself.

It was Courage!

He looked a darker shade of pink, his eyes were red and bloodshot, and he looked like he had been though hell. Blood stained his fur, and dried in patches on his body. He breathed heavily as he stared at his doppelganger.

"What are you?"

**I'm you!** it seethed. **I'm just how you imagined yourself after that incident in Vegas! This is what will happen to you! You're going to fall so deep into insanity that you'll destroy everything in your path to reclaim your happiness!**

"This is a most fascinating development!" the faceless man in the tree began clapping playfully.

"**NO!" **

_**NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!**_

Courage shot awake, screaming. Kevin and Misty came rushing in to see what was going on.

Thankfully Sandy was free from his tie, as that would've been embarrassing. She pulled the covers over herself as Kevin tried to subdue the screaming Courage, pinning him to the bed.

"What's going on?" Misty asked, tears in her eyes.

"Sandy, call help!" Kevin commanded, trying his best to hold Courage down.

Sandy nodded, not even caring that she was exposed anymore, and ran to the phone.

Sandy, now in a nightshirt, watched with tears in her eyes as Courage was brought outside and into a waiting van.

The side read "A. McGee Asylum".

"I guess the pressure of losing his owners was finally too much." Kevin observed. "I wouldn't know how I would react if I lost any of my loved ones in such a way. Everyone saw how I reacted when I thought _you_ were dead."

Sandy only nodded. "He said something about nightmares. That he was afraid of himself and what he thought he was becoming."

Misty placed a paw on Sandy's shoulder. "He'll be okay. Big brother can do anything." She tried to sound reassuring, but her voice gave away that she was just as worried.

"I like to tell myself that…" Sandy sighed.

_Somehow I was right…that time I spent with Sandy was the last…and now I can only wait to see what is in store for me now…_

I lay in the cell they placed me in, darkness surrounding me, literally and figuratively. They say that I was the worst patient they ever seen since a girl that was committed here back in the 1800's. A girl that lost her parents in almost the same way I lost my masters.

I guess fate had big plans for me.

I glanced around, noticing spider webs in the corners and a hard, flat mattress on a rusted metal frame. This place _looked _like the 1800's.

A spider with a body that looked like a China doll face crawled by, and I passed it off as seeing things.

"Nurse D," a voice called, and a big woman walked into view. "What should we do with him? He hasn't said anything."

"Of course not! He's a dog!" she snapped. Despite my colorblindness, I knew she had red hair.

"We'll keep him here until we figure out what's wrong."

Their footsteps echoed through the halls as they left me here with my thoughts.

I've always thought I had an overactive imagination, and that statement was never truer than it was at that moment.

I heard more footsteps. _Perhaps someone was coming to release me!_

A green-skinned man with a loose-fitting strait-jacket and a top hat two feet long. He whirred and clicked as he walked. _How'd he get out_?

"Reliable help is so hard to find these days. Come with me, _you're just in time for tea._"

_I don't want any tea…_

He left me alone.

It was cold and dark.


	2. A House Is Waiting For You

I'm lying on my back, my eyes wide open. I'm not going to sleep again. I _won't_ fall asleep! If I do, it's off to dreamland for me, where grisly ghouls leer and laugh as they treat death as a casual occurrence. Lions and tigers await, with grinning faces and glowing eyes…enticing me to join them…NO! No, I won't!...oh god… What's happening to me?

_**Courage is mad he is! **__**His **__**mind filled with weird and creepy things, laughing and guffawing as he looks upon his dying victim, holding an axe above his **__**head**__**.**_

_**DIE DIE DIE! YOU MISERABLE SCUM!**_

**NO!**...No, I'm not killing anyone…

Nobody's dying. There's no monsters…no…_cats_…I'm just having a bad dream…

I just need a glass of water…

I slink out of bed, careful not to disturb Sandy.

Sandy…she's my only reason for living now, next to my sister of course.

I take a few deep breaths and just walk to the kitchen. I'm still trying to figure out the layout of Kevin's house, as I've only visited. Who would've thought I would actually have to _live _here because…because…

NO! Don't dwell on the past! Just go to the kitchen. It's dark, but I'm not afraid. That's stupid! I'm not two!

I'm just going to get a glass of water, it's not _too_ dark, I can see just fine.

_**Courage…**_

That voice…that horrible hissing voice that seems to bore into my soul and unlock my greatest fears….my worst nightmares…_it's in my head_…_it knows all my secrets!_ _IT"S COMING TO GET ME!_

_It's all in my head…I'm not two! _

There's footsteps…_they're in the house!_

No…it's probably Kevin wanting a glass of water too. That's it…

"Tell me again why we're doing this?"

That voice isn't Kevin's. Or Sandy's or Misty's or anyone I've heard before. It's a male voice with a British accent and it sounds like he's got a lot of phlegm buildup.

_THEY'RE IN THE HOUSE!_

"Don't you ever listen?"

There's another voice. This one's female and much more pleasant to listen too than that man's horrible voice. "We're here to find this canine to deliver this message."

Naw..it's not _me _they're talking about. It's some _other_ dog. They've just got the wrong house. I've been though enough crap already.

I just ignore them for now, forget the water. Just go back to bed. Nightmares are nothing to be afraid of because they're not real. I'll just go back to sleep and if I do have a nightmare I'll probably forget it by tomorrow afternoon. I'm probably imaging those voices as well.

I settle back into bed and get comfortable. I sigh and roll over to get some sleep.

A man is staring at me…

They _are_ in the house! And he just grabbed me! He's utterly hideous, with long, greasy hair like spider legs, bulging yellow eyes behind crooked glasses, a crow beak nose, and yellowing teeth poking out of his mouth like a horse. Yet his top hat, tails, and spats gave him an air of sick formality.

"HEY!" he cries downstairs in that horrible voice. "I got a mutt! Was it the boy we're looking for?" he asked, stealing a glance to be sure, much to my embarrassment.

"Ah! Yes it was!" the female voice responded from downstairs.

"What should I tell him?"

The female voice groans, "Just...bring him to me. _You_ wouldn't know how to deliver a message if it stole the glasses off your nose."

"Fine!"

All the while I close my eyes. Was it an attempt to wake up?

An attempt to avoid this weirdo's ugly face?

I honestly didn't know.

The man held my back tightly as he rushed down the stairs, bringing me to his girlfriend or whoever the hell he's with. My eyes are still closed as if I'm on a rollercoaster.

No, I shouldn't…I should face my fears. I'm not supposed to be a coward.

So I open my eyes and see her in all her glory.

I whish I hadn't…

By the sound of her voice I had expected…_hoped_…her to be human. But I couldn't be further from the truth.

She was a giant, bipedal lizard with blue scales. She wore a purple dress with a hole for her tail that seemed to sway with glee.

Her golden tiara rested around her eyestalk that held her single, yellow eye. Yes she had one eye.

Add the pearl necklace, pink slippers, and painted claws, and she looked almost like royalty of some sort.

I should scream, I should panic. But I don't

Perhaps because I've seen weirder?

"Hello," she said in an attempt to sound cheerful. "let us take a moment to introduce ourselves. I," she placed a hand upon her breast "am the Queen of Trolls.."

"And I…" the ugly man said, lashing a whip that seemed to come from nowhere, "am The Great Bruzzini from Bruzzini's Grand Circus!" he began throwing flyers from his pocket advertising a place I've never heard of before. They read.

Come!

to Bruzzini's Grand Circus!

See!

Bob the Dancing Camel!

23rd March!

"Yay," the Queen moaned sarcastically. "Back to the matter at hand, canine, I know you've been having nightmares. We _all _have nightmares but yours are…_special_ ones.

How did I know she was going to say that?

"During your time in Vegas," _how did she know?_ "You displayed that you met all the requirements to join _**The Brotherhood Of The Cheshire Cats**_, the most powerful army of The Hatter."

Cheshire Cats? Hatter? As in _Mad_ Hatter? This has to be a dream, it just has too. In fact, I let a small chuckle of disbelief escape my throat.

The Queen slapped me across my muzzle, "PAY ATTENTION! As I was saying, this army is a brutal killing force dedicated to spreading nightmares and fighting the Hatter's wars. It should appeal to _you_, given the fact that it would allow you to take revenge on your enemies."

She talks as if I _enjoy_ killing…That I found that incident in Vegas…_fun. _

_I had to do it…_

I _had_ to…

"Oh yes, and someone else has taken an interest in you as well…"

Bruzzini barges in "It's..."

"You…don't…talk!"

"I just feel left out…"

"Anyway," the Queen rolled her eye. "There is a man in a grey trench coat that wants you too. I don't know much about him but he said he's very…_interested _because of the _**darkness**_ in your soul."

Darkness…there was something about the way she said that word, I can't put my finger on it…something…I can't describe it so I'll just call it "_Queenish_". And this man in the trench coat, I swore I saw him behind the Queen but he was gone in a blink.

"Don't deny it dog…_I_ used to be a sweet little girl myself…but due to certain…_complications_…I was forced into doing things like this."

_Is she trying to make me feel sorry for her? _She barges into _my_ house, tells me _I'm_ evil and demons are coming to _get me_, _and she expects sympathy_?

"Oh I'm sorry…did I scare you?" she looked at me with a sad expression, a parody of Muriel. "You don't like killing? You don't like nightmares? Well…there is another option you can consider. You can forget about the demons, the nightmares, the Otherworld…"

She didn't mention Otherworld before.

"Can I tell him what the other option is?" Bruzzini chimed in. I almost forgot he was there.

"Go ahead." The Queen sighed, rolling her eye again.

Bruzzini spins me around to look me in the eyes, his yellow eyes narrowing to make him appear more sinister.

"Free Dark Sonic…"

_They know Dark Sonic…_

_**THEY KNOW DARK SONIC?!**_

"That's right," the Queen continues. "Free Dark Sonic and we'll never bother you again. No Hatter, no trench coated shadows, no demons or cats.."

"But…but…" my first words to them, and they weren't exactly a wise choice.

"But _what_?" the Queen snarls, a behavior you'd expect from her alleged species. "I don't give a _damn _if anyone dies because of it and neither should _you_!"

"No…no..." I was fumbling for the right words. "What about '_Otherworld_'?"

She laughs, but it wasn't evil. More like an informal chuckle between friends. "All I have to say about that is…"

She brings me closer to look into her eye. I can see madness there. Not as great as the madness that resides behind Rex's eyes, but still…

"_There's a house waiting for you…_" she whispers.

"What does _that _mean?" I asked, but they were gone.

But it wasn't a dream. They were real, they _had _to be.

They were flesh and blood, and _scales_ in the Queen's case.

And I could tell, I could feel their embrace, sense their presence.

And they _know _Dark Sonic….

And there's a house waiting for me…


	3. Oh, Frabjabulous Day!

The next morning was pretty uneventful. It was strange because I awoke to find everyone else was gone and they didn't bother to say goodbye. I wonder why they would do such a thing?

Unfortunately I didn't forget about the nightmares like I thought I would. The one that stood in my mind most was that weird, blue skinned, three eyed British monster telling me to kill Muriel. _And I did_! It was horrible, yet I only felt a bit of emotion towards their demise, almost like I was uncaring about the whole thing.

Then that voice! The same hissing voice I heard before those two characters shown up. It belonged to a flying shark with yellow eyes, and red snake-like pupils. It was the damndest thing, because if those two idiots were real, than he would be real too.

Right?

I found myself something to eat for breakfast, noticing that it looked like no one else had even been in this house. It was strange they would leave without telling me they were. Even Misty was gone. It made me feel kind of sad, but I'm sure they had their reasons.

After I ate my breakfast, I turned on the TV only to find that the reception was out. I tossed the remote aside and it landed next to my Yo-yo! The same one I was looking for!

Then there was the paddleball, more yo-yos, my old storybook, and various trinkets to remind me of Muriel.

It was everything I desired! I felt a tingle of delight, which was outweighed by what felt like a huge weight in my stomach. How could there be everything I ever wanted within the confines of someone else's house?

I got my answer when I walked outside. Everything was monochrome except for splashes of color. Somehow I got the feeling that it wasn't my eyesight either. I could see some color, but I could tell everything was black and white. It was just like that place in my dream, when I killed….

_I don't want to think about it anymore. _

I looked back into the house and saw the clock was strangely military time, and pointed to 23:00. Eleven pm? It's morning! It should be at least ten!

Then the yo-yos in the pile, one...two …twenty-three altogether.

Twenty-three channels on the TV.

Even the microwave was stopped at twenty-three minutes.

Okay…this was getting annoying…

I walked back into the black and white world, I assume the Otherworld, and looked back at the house. It looked like Kevin's house, only it was black and white too. Other houses stood adjacent to it, all in full monochromatic glory…and floating in midair. This wasn't a neighborhood, it was just some insane funhouse demanding to play tricks on my brain.

_As if I were mad…_

Just as I was about to explore this world I had found myself victim to, a giant frog suddenly approached me. He – I knew it was a he as he was wearing a business suit and had a moustache – hobbled over to me, hunched over a cane while stroking his amphibian chin.

"Ahoy, my lad!" he cried in a cheerful voice, placing one of his cold, slimy hands over my shoulder, "Be you Creator, or be you Visitor?"

_BE YOU? _Does anyone talk like that anymore? Nonetheless, I reply, or, at least, attempt to. "I guess…I'm a Visitor."

"Aha! Which Creator are you visiting for? If you don't like him, you can come stay with me!"

I knew no Creator…were those two Creators? Was he talking about God or _a _god? This world's god?

"Shut up," is all I said in reply.

"Well, that's a nice howdee-doo." The frog turned his head up at me and hobbled away. Now what?

"_Farewell green fields and happy groves, where flocks have took delight; you will surely be missed."_ It was the mot pompous British accent I had ever heard and it was coming from a skinny, grey cat with skin riddled with arcane tattoos.

His rotten grin truly distinguished him. The Cheshire Cat I knew it was.

"You make a correct assumption, canine, but I am not to be confused with the _other _malicious predators that bare the name."

I've seen him in my nightmares before, yes, I have. He came to me when I was in the asylum, THAT HORRIBLE, DAMN _**ASYLUM**_!

_**GET AWAY FROM ME! SHUT UP!**_

"I realize you've had experience with anthropomorphic creatures before, but these are…_different,_ their forms once human."

"Wh-what?"

"They changed by _choice_. A bard once wrote that _Cruelty has a human heart and Jealousy a human face_, and these people have gone to great lengths to mask that face."

I've had experience with transformation, having been turned into a fly, a prehistoric kangaroo, and other things. It wasn't pleasant at all. So why would someone _willingly_ change their form into something unnatural, inhuman…

_Otherworldly_?

"_The human form, a fiery forge_. I think the transformations are an _improvement_, in a way. They are so _adorable_. Yet, I am still _very_ much opposed to this world's ruler, especially after what he's done to _my_ world."

"What did _he_ do?"

The cat's grin grew wider. "I'd prefer you'd find it out for yourself." Then he faded away with a loud 'purr'.

So what? Two weirdoes from another world come up to me, say a few things that don't make any sense then disappear. Is that meant to be funny? Are these things _normal_ in this place? I tried to imagine what a regular conversation would be like here:

'_Y'know, today I was walking along the street when I saw this three headed purple monkey from hell who talked about stuff I didn't know the first thing about, then he vanished! Just another day in Otherworld, eh, Bob?'_

Ugh!

"Whoever made this place has a bad sense of humor…" I remarked to myself

Then I saw something out of the corner of my eye and glanced up.

I saw Dark Sonic standing right before me…

_HE WAS STANDING RIGHT HERE! A CASUAL GRIN ON HIS FACE! HOW CAN HE SMILE?_

"OH! Frabjabulous day! You came, you came!" he yelled happily, grabbing me up and hugging me tightly. "So I take it you got my message?" he asked, suddenly dropping my on the ground.

"I got your message alright." I mumbled, rubbing my rear he so carelessly dropped me upon.

"So you're here to free me, right?"

"FUCK NO!" I screamed, not realizing what I just said until it was too late.

"Then why else would you be here? If _I_ had the power to bring you here _myself,_ I wouldn't _need _your help!"

"I just woke up and found myself here! Is that a _crime_ to not know how I got here?"

"In this place, I have no idea…" Dark remarked, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well _I _didn't bring you here, and you obviously didn't _want_ to come here. Which means you're a visitor on someone else's behalf."

"The Hatter?" I asked.

"Possibly, but that Hatter guy is one _creepy_ fag."

"How did _you_ wind up here?" I asked, not really caring. I figured if I knew how he got here, I could stop him from leaving.

"Well, from what I've learned so far, this place is created from Psychomagic, and is where all things imaginary become reality. This place also acts as an afterlife of sorts for the insane who done evil in their lives. Hence why _you're_ probably here."

I growled slightly from that remark. Why does everyone have to bring _that _up.

Dark continued, "So apparently, when I became Oblivion, when you destroyed me, my soul didn't return to Hell like it normally does. Instead, though some cosmic loophole or something, I wound up here. After pissing off the ruler of this world, he stripped me of my demonic powers. That is why I enlisted you're help."

"So you're just as powerless as I am, and _you_ expect _me_ to just let you out and regain all your powers so you can _destroy_ me once and for all? _FORGET IT!_"

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice." Dark picked me up and held me at eye level so I could look into he glowing red eyes. The only patches of color on him were his red eyes, red shoe stripes, and red Wild Kard Casino shirt. Of course even if we weren't monochrome he would still be completely black everywhere else.

"You see," he began. "Even _I_ don't know what these beings are capable of! This place is constructed with levels of Psychomagic that I've only _heard_ about! If someone as powerful as _me_ can't figure out the inner workings of this world, what chance do _you_ have? I mean, that Hatter guy _robbed me of my powers! THAT'S NOT NORMAL_!

"If you release me, you know what you're up against. You've beat me before, and can do it again. These guys will eat you alive, rape your mind, then leave your remains for…whatever eats remains around here…Point is, all _I _do is have fun! _They_ want to destroy people's sanity!"

"I'm already losing my sanity." I quipped. I'm standing here in a place that looks like Sin City, talking to a demonic hedgehog clone about the inner conflicts of the soul.

Nooooo I'm not insane…not insane at all.

"No you're not!" Dark put me down and began pacing. "You think _everything _around here is a figment of your twisted little mind, yet you're _talking _to _me_ because you know _I'm real_? If _I_ can exist, so can this place! I know it sounds impossible, but trust me on this! If you don't want to be reduced to a babbling looney…well moreso than you already are….then you'll help me! I don't need the competition for souls anyway, so if I'm free I can _level_ this place and eliminate it from both our lives!

" I mean, what have you got to lose?"

I was about to give the obvious answer when he cut me off with the most unexpected thing I ever heard.

"I can restore everything you lost. I can bring you're masters back, and make you forget this whole thing ever happened."

"Why would _you_ bring back what _you _took away?" I asked dryly, holding back my distain.

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about. _I_ didn't take anything away from you, but I _can_ give it back." Dark replied.

As much as I wanted to deny it, I could sense the honesty in his voice. His innocent smile and 'soulful eyes routine' didn't help matters any.

I could play along, agree to help, then backstab him.

But that isn't my style. I can't bring myself to do that. I'm too nice a guy for tricks like that.

But is there a way to _not_ help him? Perhaps there is a way not to let him manipulate me. It would be nice to be rid of this Otherworld place and free of the haunting nightmares.

The irony is, the only way to release myself from torment, is to put myself into another. Kind of like me saving Muriel.

One memory that stood in my mind was that day, November 12,

_heh, 23, how cute…_

When I first got my Nowhere home. Who should show up, but an alien chicken bent on world domination? The very same that would seek revenge on me several times more. Took me long enough to realize that he was only the beginning of my troubles in Nowhere, and for years to come.

It's your call to decide what caused all these events in my life. I never noticed it until now that I was numb then. Family in danger, I save the day, but I never took the time to think about why all this was going on.

_Why? _

Away from home, trouble followed me. At home it never left me alone. Like it was all deliberate and I was the pawn. _"__He __doesn't suspect a thing! We'll play this game forever if we want too!"_

The Gods must love tormenting me. The goodness that lies within my soul must be an abomination to those who seek to torture me. It's why Rex went mad, my parents taken elsewhere and killed by insane vets. My life was a big, twisted game.

_And I'm about to meet its champion player. _

Now I'm in this drab world severely lacking color, and feeling green from the realization that I never controlled my life.

And Dark Sonic is this wanabee messiah promising me redemption from the same torment that he himself was a part of! I may be new in this world but I'm not stupid to how it works. I know what's going on. This is all part of the game. Who cares who is in charge here, or who's playing the game? I just roll with the punches and take it as it is. Who knows? Perhaps it's all in my mind, or this is just a nightmare I have yet to wake from.

From what I gather, he isn't anymore of a threat than this Hatter or anything else. He's powerless! I don't have to help and, if possible, I may just get out of here unscathed. Alive. Sane… to be back with Muriel, my sister, my girlfriend, my friends! It could all be better, and I wouldn't remember a thing about this nightmare or any prior nightmares. I wouldn't remember the guilt of helping Dark right now. I could be back to the free, fun loving dog that I used to be. Not a murdering villain fighting urges.

In a twisted sort of way, I have to repeat my ironic life one more time, get into trouble to get out again.

"Front and center!" Dark shouted. "Are you going to help me or not? We've got plenty of time apparently. This isn't a game of chess you know. You got to decide sometime what to do. Unless you want to feel like Imogen Boorman at that table, you better hurry up and decide!"

I turned and ran as fast as I could, tears forming in my eyes…_I didn't want to do this…_


	4. Build A Better Army

I asked the cause: the aged man grew sad

They pointed to a building grey and tall

And hoarsely answered "_Step inside, my lad,  
And then you'll see it all"_

-Four Riddles (Lewis Carroll)

The continued exploration of this world yielded to me a giant building at the end of the block. It looked like a typical, run down apartment building, but it was covered with unsettling graffiti scrawled on the walls. Messages that read:

'IT BEGINS AGAIN',

'CHILDHOOD IS OVER'

'I'M COMING FOR YOU'.

Who's coming for who? Was this meant for me, or did whoever it was for already come here?

I walked towards this building, feeling drawn to it in a way. I opened the creaky, rusted front door and walked into the lobby, as it were. There were puddles on the floor marked with the typical "WET FLOOR" signs, which was strange as it didn't appear to be any leaks around to create them.

Putting aside any disgusting thoughts as to how the puddles got there, I continued on to find a busted up staircase. Some stairs were even missing altogether and the railing was pulled from the wall almost completely.

I kind of felt sorry for whoever lived here, as it was a deathtrap for those who weren't careful.

Nearby was a side door, which I peered through the cracked glass, only to be greeted with a graveyard.

_There was a damn graveyard at this building!_ That isn't a good sign to anyone.

Though I was un-nerved at the sight, I looked over the stones that rested there as testament to the memories of those departed. They had strange names, like _George Mucus, Sassyfrass, Itty Bitty Kitty…_

_Wilt…_

"Can I help you, sir?" a voice spooked me from my thoughts and I spun to see a rabbit. Not a white rabbit either. He was an aging, grey hare wearing a formal jacket and tie. His top hat, monocle lens over his eye, and pocket watch gave the appearance that he was the one in charge here, or at least thought he was.

He hopped up to where I was standing and looked through the window himself. He let out a saddened sigh and turned to me.

"They had such great lives. It was a shame for them to end so violently."

_Okay, that isn't a good way to comfort anyone…_

"What happened?" I asked, against my better judgment.

"Well, you see lad, we are what you would call '_Imaginary Friends_'." He made quote marks in the air with his fingers. "When our creators grow out of us, we come here, and we become '_real_' and therefore will…eventually…die. Unfortunately _they_ expired before their time."

He glanced back out the window as I was trying to assimilate all this. _Imaginary Friends?_ I heard about a home for these imaginary friends, but I thought it was just some stupid television show, not an actual commercial for a real establishment.

"That one right there," the rabbit continued, pointing to the one that read Itty Bitty Kitty, "was callously murdered by her creator when she became a Cheshire Cat at the employ of that dubious Hatter fellow."

_I remember the Troll Queen telling me about the Cheshire Cats, and the Hatter. _

"And this poor fellow," he said pointing to the one that read Wilt, "was driven to the brink of insanity. He was controlled by a devilish shark…"

_HIM!_

"…then managed to overcome its evil grip on him to kill it. He met his end trying to confront the Hatter."

_Something told me that I was going to wind up in that graveyard before the night was over…_

_Where __was__ he?_

The March Hare lie back uncomfortably in his seat, his fingers drumming on his colleague, the Dormouse. He had noticed that his master, the Hatter, had been absent from the Mad Tea Party for some time now and the Hare knew why…

He had been loyal to the Hatter for decades, had given him support and aid in his many endeavors, as crazy as they were. Recently, however, these plans of his masters, especially now that those imaginary friends were getting involved, just seemed…_deranged_. He had the Otherworld now, he had a great army, there's no way that any of those pesky Dreams could ever defeat him.

Why did he need _**more**__?_

Why did he need that _**shark**__?_

No, he knew the answer…

_Insanity_

He used to take such joy in insanity himself, considering that most people considered his species a symbol for it. The phrase "_madder than a March Hare_" always brought a smile to his face.

To see people scream, wiggle on the padded floor with straitjackets, muttering incoherently…that used to bring him such great joy and amusement.

Looking at it now…well…he admitted to feeling a glimmer of that past joy, yet also feeling a deep sense of disgust that seemed to bore down to the pit of his stomach.

That feeling…it bothered him…_a __lot__._

That's what his master's tea party was all about. The Hatter was so fascinated by insanity that he had planned to gather every single insane person on Earth and bring them to the Otherworld. Either that, or bring sane people to the Otherworld to drive them mad. When a mad person died, they either arrived at the Hatter's tea table, or they would join his Cheshire Cat army, which also consisted of living people as well.

_Oh, hell…_

He needed a walk. Yes! A walk would help take his mind off things, help him calm down and put his thoughts together…

Well, it wasn't exactly a pleasant place to walk around; this area of Otherworld consisted of crumbling grey plains and jagged mountains piercing the grey sky, with the occasional bare tree decorating the area…and that house…

_That house…?_

A derelict mansion standing adjacent to a set of mountains, resembling the sort of archetypical haunted mansion seen in the intro to _Tales from the Crypt_, with the usual boarded-up windows, door hanging off its hinges, wrought iron railings and even a front yard graveyard. Curiosity overcame the March Hare, and he decided to enter the building, where he was greeted by the constant 'tick-tock' sound of a clock, a sound that had been ringing in his head for years, no thanks to the clock wired to his head. The interior of the mansion was the sort of stuff you'd expect from a building of this type; furniture covered with sheets, cobwebs littering the place, the room dimly lit by candelabras, skeletons

…_**skeletons**_…

There were several skeletons at a table, in a sort of grisly portrait of them enjoying an invisible meal.

He explored the house further and came across a room that was actually close to comfortable, with its lack of cobwebs and its roaring fireplace. It would have _been_ comfortable if not for that figure in the chair.

The figure in front of the roaring fireplace that was casting grisly shadows over the walls, its identity was obvious from the tail that was swishing back and forth with a sort of gleeful sway.

_**Why have you come here?**_

"What is _this_…"

_**If I'm taking up permanent residence here; I might as well have a house of my own.**_

"How did you…"

_**I built it the way other Creators have; from my own brain.**_

The March Hare stepped backwards towards the door, shaking his head in disbelief.

**Wait! Before you go, I have a message for you.**

The Hare sighed. "_What?_" He was growing more uncomfortable with each moment he spent in this room.

**Tell your master to come here. I have a surprise for him.**

"Ah! I'm glad to have found you."

Seemingly appearing out of nowhere in a way that caused Herriman to jump a mile and run back inside, his grave expression and the way his coat billowed reminding me of _Batman_, none other than Hatter Madigan appeared right before me in the graveyard. This actually filled me with some sort of relief; while Madigan felt as strange and surreal as the other residents of this "place", I could at least somewhat _trust _him, as he seemed to be fighting for the greater good.

"Well," I reply, "I could more or less say the same of you." Indeed, I've been through a bloodthirsty demon shark, _DARK SONIC_, a one-eyed lizard and her ringmaster today, and a snarky British Cheshire Cat. I thought a superhero would be of good use right now.

Madigan sighed. "Oh…I have _failed_ Alyss and Genevieve already. I would not want anymore to fall at the grasp of this world's ruler." He covered his face with his palm, and I thus responded by placing a paw on his shoulder…well, _elbow_, I can't reach _that_ far.

I guessed I had to treat this guy well…who knew what would happen to me without him?

All of a sudden, a blinding light surrounded us, and we found ourselves in a strange office building.

Just as I was about to ask what was going on, we were told to take our seats and wait to be spoken with. Madigan complied, but I was still hesitant. Finally, _reluctantly_, I sat next to Madigan and sighed.

We sat there in this office waiting room that was bustling with these strange, supernatural glowing figures going about daily routines that were known only to them. Hatter Madigan sat next to me, his hat in his lap as a formal gesture. Both of us waited patently.

Out of boredom, I glanced over to my left, past Madigan, and saw a _shark_! A Great White I believe, sitting with a look of anxious anticipation. He looked over at me and gave a rather forced smile, and though he had sharp teeth, I felt no threat from him.

It was strange, but then again, what _wasn't_?

And it just got stranger from there. With all these glowing ghost-like creatures walking about, I assumed that the meeting we were about to attend would be with one of them…Instead…

"Ah, you must be Courage and Mr. Madigan! Come with me."

What we encountered looked like a giant bipedal insect or sorts, wearing a top hat and tails. Its body and head (and its eyes) looked like balloons, and it greeted us with a rather unnatural smile. Its bright yellow coat seemed brighter than the ghostly figures within the room. I got a chill down my spine from its presence, as it reminded me of that weevil that tried to drain Eustace and Muriel – _oh, Muriel_ – but we followed it anyway into a room. I looked at the door and it read:

_**Department of Imaginings and Re-Imaginings**_

_**Professor HM Wogglebug TE**_

_**Wogglebug**_? Is that really what his species are called? If so, I pity them. Wogglebug brought us to his office; it was rather plain, but, in a way, _weird_ in the context of this world. It had the usual office equipment: a desk, a file cabinet, a computer, a waste-basket and a fern. Wogglebug sat us down then sat at his desk with his thin arms clasped together.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I forgot to introduce myself. I am Professor HM Wogglebug TE, the HM meaning _Highly Magnified_, the TE meaning _Thoroughly Educated_."

I just sighed at that; _I had enough egotism from that ringmaster and troll._

"I am from the _**Land of Oz**_, from the house of L Frank Baum."

_Oz…? Figures… _

I certainly don't remember seeing _him_ in any Judy Garland movies, though. Wogglebug handed us a picture of this Baum person, and Madigan immediately took interest.

"Wogglebug," he said, "even from this photo, I can see Baum has a strong glow."

Wogglebug chuckled and continued. "There used to be a time when imaginings and re-imaginings would just stay in their houses and would make their presence unknown…"

"Wait," I said, "what do you mean by these '_imaginings_' and '_re-imaginings_?"

"Don't interrupt, I was getting to that!" He still smiled as he said that. "When an author creates a character, they usually think of him or her as a _real_ person, a _friend_. Something I can certainly say for _my_ creator." He took back the photo and placed it in his pocket. "Thus, in this 'Otherworld', these characters can become real the moment they're formed, take residence in their creator's house, and are known as '_imaginings_', as are fictional worlds and objects. _Re-imaginings_, on the other hand," With this, Wogglebug gestured towards Madigan, "are when people's imaginings are taken by other people, and re-modeled by that other person, mostly more or less the same as the original, or, in Mr. Madigan's case, similar in _name_ only."

He then turned to me, _still_ smiling. "I believe you have had trouble with imaginings?" I nodded. "They were a rather hideous ringmaster, and a…an ogre, was it?"

"A troll…their _queen_, apparently."

"Thank you. Anyway, both the Hatter and his shark are using these imaginings for their own means…"

"I know," said Madigan, "It's all a game to that Hatter, he said he wanted to write a book…"

"_He's abandoned that idea!_" Wogglebug rose from his seat and raised his arms. "They're now using the Wonderlands as a way to recruit new members of their army! _They'll drive the citizens insane!_"

"That damnable Hatter has been trying to drive _me_ insane…and he's actually come _close_."

"He's _still_ trying to do that! More and more Wonderlands have been created, and…and I hear he's going to do the same with many other worlds…" Wogglebug took some deep breaths and began turning pale. He wasn't smiling anymore. "…_and my Oz could be next!_"

"Wait, wait, wait…" Despite the insect's earlier objections, I interrupted, "If he's looking to recruit more members for his army, wouldn't he go after Middle Earth or something? From what I've seen, your world looks too bright and cheerful to be of any use…"

Wogglebug slowly sat back on his seat, and shuddered, hugging himself tightly. His eyes bulged wider, and they were large to begin with, and even his antennae twitched. He said only one word, in a low hissing voice that didn't belong to him:

"_INNOCENCE_…"

And then he instantly burst into tears.

"_I_ _always suspected people from your land were too cheerful…_"

It was the Cheshire Cat, the thin, tattooed one, materializing in front of us.

"You!" A blade suddenly appeared from Madigan's wrist, leaving the Cat to howl loudly, which spooked Wogglebug and sent him falling over on his back, still sobbing.

"That was rude," said the Cat, "A simple hello would have been welcome!"

"You're working for _him_, I know it!"

"Oh no, don't be paranoid, I'm quite an ally, when I _feel_ like it, much better than _this_ cretin, at least." He turned towards Wogglebug. "He _does_ make a point, however. The Hatter from this world has a fondness for childhood, mainly because some of these Dreams specialize in it. My Alice is a prime example of innocence lost, and she has passed on over to his side." He stared at me hard, making me feel paralyzed. "You've lost _your_ innocence, too, haven't you?"

_Innocence…_I should be nothing more than a lazy, playful dog, bringing a touch of happiness into my owner's humdrum existence. I should be leaping about, squeaking balls, begging for walkies…I shouldn't be a murderer, I shouldn't be a villain…the worst part about it is that I _liked _it…the Troll Queen, she acted as if I loved to murder, and I do, I do…the Shadow, he thinks I'm useful to him…and the Hatter, he wants me to command his army. The thought of having hundreds of thousands of soldiers doing my every whim, killing at my command…it would be _delicious_…it's only _Hollywood_ that says it's bad, and _they_ made the Hatter a goofball, the Cheshire Cat mischievous and fanciful and said insanity is something that should be _avoided_…

But it _should_ be avoided…

_It should…_

"_**NO**_**!**" I screamed shocking the three strange people I was in the office with.

"Matters like that are best _not_ denied," said the Cat, "Denial _only_ worsens things."

"You make a good point, you are very wise," said Wogglebug, trying to retain his former demeanor.

"If you seek to free yourself from the clutches of this world's ruler, you have Madigan's doppelganger to defeat first. Him and his Queen have their eyes set on the other Wonderlands being conjured, as well as the Land of Oz as the case may be. You have a long and dangerous adventure ahead of you, so I find it best to find some…appropriate help. The Dreams could be of great use, as well as Madigan; they'll surely give you training and assistance and all that, and I'll give you guidance when I _feel_ like it."

Then he vanished.

"You two best be going," said Wogglebug, "I know _nothing_ about physical combat. You should _really_ ask one of the other Dreams…"

So we left…

As Hatter Madigan and Courage made their way out of the door, in search of reinforcements, Professor HM Wogglebug TE sighed and lay his head down on his desk. Surely Hatter could eliminate the threat; he's a skilled Millinery man, after all! And the dog, he saved the world from the reality destroying creature Oblivion! He's faced more monsters and surreal creatures than perhaps even Dorothy and her friends! And it's _his_ fight!

Wogglebug then remembered something he either forgot to tell the duo or didn't want to tell them. He opened a drawer on his desk and plonked a stack of comics on top. He normally didn't read comics, they weren't something someone as '_Thoroughly Educated_' as he should waste time on, but this was…different.

All these comics were about _his_ world, but painted it in a darker tone, adding _violence, blood and horror_ where there should be _none_. It _disgusted_ him to think that someone could look at what he considered the most beautiful and majestic fairyland in the world and see only death and bleakness, but now, with the recent notification of Wonderlands being invaded by dark versions of themselves made him fear the same thing for his home.

The Red Queen, her powerful lackey, and malevolent versions of his best friends…it was too much to take…

He started to wonder why he took an interest to imaginings in the first place…he should have stayed in Oz…

**You should be grateful****..**** Were it not for us, you would have been oblivious. And you call yourself 'Thoroughly educated'! I've seen jellyfish more educated than you!**

Wogglebug froze. Someone, some_thing_ was behind him, but he didn't dare look.

_**Your creator was utterly naïve! He wanted to "rid fairy tales of all horrible incident"! Sometimes horrible incident can be a good thing..**_

An axe swung down and sliced Wogglebug's desk in two.

Standing before the insect was a _rotting corpse_ with flesh like ground meat, and rusted mechanical parts haphazardly attached to it. The zombie squeaked and groaned as it raised its axe again, this time on the hapless Professor.

Wogglebug immediately leapt out of the way and straight towards the door. He frantically tried to turn the knob, but it broke off in his hands. The squeaking of the animated carcass got louder as it swung again, this time knocking over Wogglebug's computer.

Wogglebug crawled on his knees and looked around the miniscule room for some cover, when he narrowly missed the swing of a scythe.

Joining the mechanical zombie was another corpse, this one more familiar. It looked just like Wogglebug's friend the Scarecrow, only…it looked like a human skin stuffed with straw, its head was being twisted by a strange device atop its head, and it was distracted by undead crows pecking out its eyes. If that was Scarecrow…could the other be Nick Chopper, the Tin Woodman?

_Where was…_

The Lion stood there, but was continually roaring in pain, as he held his dripping entrails in his claws, staggering about aimlessly.

_**Don't worry; these aren't **__**really**__** your friends, just re-imaginings of them from the house of someone named Todd…**_

Wogglebug still heard the voice, but from where, he didn't know, or care. His ears were more focused towards the squawking of the crows, the melancholy roars of the Lion, and the screeching of the rusted tin man.

The Scarecrow, Nick Chopper, the Cowardly Lion…Wogglebug knew them, and they were the kindest, friendliest people one could hope to meet. _What sort of person would think of them as malevolent ghouls_?

_**I think it's time for you to learn that life isn't all singing and sunshine…**_


	5. Factor In Reality

In Florida, a young man was adjusting to his surroundings that he was so abruptly thrown back into. He mulled over in his head about what he had done, what he had gone through, to get here. In the end, he felt that given the chance, he would do it all again. Sure he would make different choices, but now it didn't matter…

He had wandered into a familiar neighborhood, one he explored when he was first trying out this "form" he was granted. It was where a university was.

There's _lots of smart people there. Perhaps one of them can help me! _

The young man ran up to the first dorm door he saw and knocked. Part of him felt uncomfortable about telling strangers a tale that they would think impossible, imaginary, _insane_….

Insanity…it was one of the things he had heard about. How Gwen had insanity, and that man in the hat wanted it…

Fortunately for him, the stranger he was about to regale with his story, was someone well versed in bizarre happenings.

For this individual, it would be just another day.

The occupant of the dorm answered, a bit confused as to who could want him at this hour.

Jonathan looked at the young man standing at his front door. He wore black jeans, a black Linkin Park t-shirt, and sneakers. His spiky black hair went into a "shark fin" in the back, and his blue eyes were filled with nervousness.

"Can I help you?" Jonathan asked.

"Um…well…I don't know," he rubbed the back of his neck. "You see, my name's Derek and I've been though a lot. It's hard to explain and you probably wouldn't believe me.." his voice trailed off.

"I doubt that. After all I've been though, I'll probably believe anything."

Derek was surprised by this reaction, but nonetheless, took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay, here goes."

After a few hours of explaining where he was from, being a former shark, the realm of Otherworld full of dreams and Mad Hatters, his evil side wanting to destroy humanity, and the presence of a small, purple dog, Derek stared at Jonathan with anticipation, awaiting his response.

Jonathan stared at Derek, noticing he was panting after his frantic and often compelling story. Sure he had witnessed Oblivion and the near destruction of all reality as he knew it. Sure he chased demonic hedgehog clones, insane cyborg armadillos, and ghostly doctors possessing teddy bears. But all this was too far fetched, even for him. An entire world forged from imagination and dreams, overtaken by a Mad Hatter wannabe, spawning twisted variations of Wonderland?

"I…I don't know what to say…"

"You've got to believe me!"

"Wait…did you say 'small purple dog'?"

Derek nodded, hoping that Jonathan would change his mind.

"Well...a friend of mine did tell me Courage went missing after they returned from Vegas. Something about his home being destroyed and his owners being killed, possibly having to do with that evil hedgehog…"

"Wow, that's terrible…" Derek sympathized.

Jonathan nodded. "So…hypothetically….what would happen if I said I believed you?" he leaned on the table and looked at Derek with examining eyes. His former agent training never went away.

"Then you've got to help me stop my evil side from destroying your world." Derek replied matter of fact.

In Indianapolis, IN, former Agent Gammon, or Chris to everyone now, was busy digging though his box of Sonic the Hedgehog comic books when the phone rang. He sprang up and ran to answer it, wondering who it could be at this hour.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Chris, it's Jonathan." Jonathan answered flatly.

"Hey! JReq, how's it going? Doing well at the university?"

"Yeah, um…listen…I think I'm going to need your help, as well as everyone else for that matter. You know Gareth and D.M's phone numbers?"

"Sure. Why? Everything alright?"

"I don't know yet, but I think we may have another adventure on our hands." Jonathan than proceeded to fill Chris in with what he knew so far.

"Great…" Chris remarked sarcastically. "I'll get to calling them."

Chris hung up and looked out his window for a moment, seeing the infamous Armadillo Rex and his fox/coon girlfriend Cindy, washing their blue Dodge heli-Viper next door, getting more water on each other than the car.  
_Why did they have to move next door? _Chris thought, rolling his eyes.

In New York's Bronx neighborhood, D.M was watching anime cartoons when her phone rang. She got off the couch, stepped over her mallet lying on the floor, and answered the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Chris. Apparently we have to meet Jonathan in Florida for something big." Chris explained, idly making his Resident Evil action figure march across the table he was sitting at.

"Everything alright?"

"I guess, but he just said he needs our help. Something about Courage missing and a kid claiming he's a shark…."

"COURAGE IS MISSING?!" D.M. screamed, causing Chris to flinch.

"Well, we don't know for sure but.."

D.M hung up, probably already preparing to meet Jonathan.

In jolly old England, a phone rang, disturbing someone at his computer. Nearby were stacks of books with titles like "Alice in Wonderland", "The Wizard Of Oz", "American McGee's Alice Players Guide" and the like, along with several sketchbooks and printouts.

"Hello?" it was none other than former Agent Gareth.

"Hey, Gareth! How are things in merry old UK?" Chris asked cheerfully, thinking how to break the news to avoid another reaction like D.M's.

"They're great! It's so good to be back home and away from all that creepy stuff! I can finally pursue my pastimes!"

"Which are?"

"Writing and drawing creepy stuff!"

"Ah," Chris remarked. "I hope you know you're running up my long distance bill so I'll make it quick. Jonathan needs our help and Courage is missing."

"That's bloody awful! How soon do we need to meet him?"

"Well, apparently we have to all find our own ways to Florida."

"I'm on it!" Gareth hung up, and looked at his computer. He was writing a story chronicling his adventures with Courage.

_What were the odds?_

--

The Queen of Trolls had finished lighting the last scented candle. After that, she gave a pleased smile at what she had 'accomplished'. A hot bath, filled to the brim with soapy bubbles, surrounded by scented candles. This was the life and how things _should _be. She turned towards the door and locked it before she slipped off her bathrobe and slowly made her way into the bath.

She lounged backwards and began kicking her legs in the air, watching the light shimmer off her wet scales. This atmosphere…she could take _comfort_ in it, she could reside in it and it gave her a chance to be alone with her thoughts. And she had a lot to think about.

The world she resided in, for example. To her, it was merely nothing more but a playground. Humans flocked to it, thinking it'd give them power, when all it gave them was reliance and dependence. That Hatter, he was an idiot, he was unfit to rule. All he really did was drive people mad, plonk them somewhere and then forgot about them when he saw another person to drive mad. Just like a child and his toys.

The Shadow was a child too, always trying to find ways of proving he's _better_ than the Hatter. '_My army's bigger than yours!_' '_I'm more popular than you!_' '_I'm smarter than you!_' And his appearance! A big black thing with yellow eyes? Was that meant to impress her? Was that meant to scare her?

"_Hey!_" A loud knocking interrupted the Queen's train of thought. It was Bruzzini. "I really got to go!"

"I'm in the bath!"

"But you're a troll! I thought you guys _liked _getting dirty and stuff!"

"You're thinking about _ogres_. And goblins."

"Can't I come in anyway? I won't look; I think you're _hideous!_"

The Queen groaned. "If you're going to say _stupid_ things like that, your bladder can _explode_ for all I care."

Ah, yes, Bruzzini. He was nothing more but a sidekick. She shuddered at times when people saw them together and thought they were dating, or, even worse, _**married**_.

_Fie on you, Gareth! That bloody idiot! What was he drinking when he thought of having that pathetic homosapien as a cohort? _

And that black hedgehog that claimed he was Oblivion, destroyer of reality! The _nerve _of treating _her_ like a lackey! She was _royalty_! _Daughter of the Mountain King!_

However, she _did _have her reasons for doing his bidding…

That Hatter, that Shadow…they _both_ wanted _that dog_. She'd spite _both_ of them by bringing the dog to _her_ side instead. Those two idiots offered Courage chaos and destruction, everything he abhorred and expected him to lick it up like milk.

The Queen wanted destruction and chaos, it was necessary, but it wasn't what _she_ was going to offer the cur.

The shark told her everything. The shark was the only creature she could trust, despite its rather annoying bloodlust. It understood the world and how it worked. It didn't believe in solace, sanctuary, or any other saccharine human concepts. It was the only one who could give her what she wanted.

It had _plans_ with the Wonderlands the Hatter was conjuring, and he said she could be included. She could be a _ruler_, of not _one_ Wonderland, but _many_, if not _all_. Not hundreds, _but thousands_ of followers, hailing _her_ as their ruler, adoring _her_ more than anyone else, and heaping praise and gratitude onto _her_.

_Hadn't she earned it?_

The knocking got louder. "COME ON!"

The Queen growled. "_Fine_, then."

She pulled the plug and the water went gurgling down the drain, just like any thoughts she had of enjoying herself alone for a while. She blew out the scented candles, dried herself and wrapped the towel around her body, despite her lack of mammalian features. She walked towards the door and let that sidekick of hers in to do his business.

"What kept you?" grumbled Bruzzini with a scowl.

She only smiled in response.

--

_About a day had passed without any hassle_

_And Courage still didn't have a home to call his castle_

_Time moves slower in this alternate world_

_So let's see what a day passing has unfurled…_

"I believe him!" D.M piped up, breaking the uneasy silence that hung over the room. Everyone was seated at Jonathan's dining table, and all eyes _were_ on the newcomer Derek, until D.M. chimed in.

"Of course _you_ would…" Chris mumbled under his breath.

D.M shot a glare at Chris, who responded with a "just playing" gesture.

"I don't know guys. Kevin tells me Courage goes missing and now _this_…" Jonathan said, resting his head in his hands.

"Think they're connected?" Gareth observed.

"If they are, then Courage is in trouble." Derek replied, making everyone else look at him, worried. "Especially if he's the same dog I saw before I was sent back here."

"How did you wind up there to begin with?" Gareth asked, suddenly taking interest. "Alice in Wonderland" was one of his favorite stories, and the possibility of Wonderland actually existing was too great to ignore.

"Well, I was a shark, but felt that I had no purpose but to kill people and be hated by humanity. Then I saved a girl from drowning and she realized that sharks could do good. But my killer instinct, my evil side, didn't like that. The only way I could get rid of him was to not be a shark, so I got the help of a sea witch named Gwen to turn me human. After a series of unfortunate events, I wound up fighting my evil half in my dreams and losing. When I died, my soul was a shark and I wound up in Otherworld, where I met its ruler and other characters. Then the ruler sent me back here, completely free of my evil half. But now my evil side wants to destroy humanity. I think I saw you're dog friend Courage in the office before I was sent back."

"So you have to _die_ to get into this Otherworld?" Chris asked.

Derek nodded solemnly, "I guess it acts as sort of an afterlife for the insane or something, I probably only wound up there because of my evil half."

"So does that mean Courage is…" D.M asked

"_**NO!**_" Jonathan slammed his hands down on the table. "He fought ghosts, aliens, demons, and the harbinger of the end of all reality! He's not just going to give up and die after something bad happens!"

Gareth was still enticed by what he was hearing. If only he could go there…

Derek noticed this and shook his head, "Trust me, it's _not_ what you think."

Gareth then thought for a moment. All of this sounded…familiar…too familiar. Didn't he write some stories about a place called Otherworld? Something was _too_ suspicious about this whole thing…

Before Gareth could ask any questions to pursue his theory, everyone got up and began preparing to meet Kevin in Kansas.

--

So Madigan and I set about to find some "dreams" to help our cause. I noticed that my shark friend was gone, obviously at a meeting or something like we were.

Both of us were caught off guard by the sound of a slamming door. Our heads snapped in the direction of the sound to see another Hatter. This one had a grey suit, a comically oversized hat with the infamous "10/6" card sticking out of it, and blue skin. The strangest thing about this Hatter was that he didn't have a face of any sort, just yellow eyes that seemed to glow with anger as he engaged one of the "dreams" in a heated argument. He was the one in my nightmares…those horrible nightmares…

I could tell by the way Madigan set his jaw he was trying to hold back. Obviously this was the Hatter he spoke of in Wooglebug's office. The vibes I was getting from him were powerful.

But that wasn't what confused me. The vibes I was feeling from my canine sixth sense told me that something else was in the room with us, something more sinister than the Faceless Hatter.

Yes I've taken to making nicknames of the characters I encounter so as not to confuse them.

That's when my suspicions were confirmed. After the Faceless Hatter disappeared, much like the same manner the cat "ally" did in Wooglebug's office, I heard a horrible scream. The door to Wooglebug's office flew open as he was tossed through it and into the waiting room, a look on his face as if something terrible was pursuing him.

Then emerged a zombie that appeared to be constructed of hamburger and metal, and had a face that looked like a Cylon from that old sci-fi series. His right hand was a claw device, while the left held a large axe.

Madigan sprang into action, launching a bevy of spinning blades from his wrists at the lumbering ghoul and actually scoring a hit into its single eye. It roared in pain and began coming towards us, squeaking like the screen door on my old home.

Madigan leapt backwards in a somersault, and removed his hat in the process, tossing it through the air at the foe. Before I could question his sanity, the hat transformed into a whirling saw blade like device that severed the zombie's axe hand clean off.

_I'm glad he's on my side…_

Madigan than leapt onto the foe, and found that the door-like panel on its chest was indeed a door. He pried it open and reached in, obviously knowing what was inside. He ripped his hand free, holding some sort of object covered in stale blood.

The monster halted and fell to the ground, lifeless, defeated.

"_If he only had a heart…"_ Wooglebug sang to himself, still shaken from the experience.

That's when it hit me. _This was supposed to be Tin Man?_ Last I saw him was in a canned pasta commercial being chased by kids with can openers. He wasn't this zombie Cylon from Hell that lie crumpled before me like a moldering mess.

So this was a re-imagining?

"What's going on?" I asked, not really intending to do so out loud.

Before Madigan could reply, the Tin Man's companion emerged from the office, dragging a nasty scythe behind him. Obviously this was Scarecrow, but he looked more like that Chainsaw Massacre guy stuffed with straw. The top of his head was twisted shut, and zombie crows hungrily pecked at his eyes.

Madigan was once again using his combat training to dispatch the fiend, sending a mess of what appeared to be brain matter and straw all over the floor. He wiped his wrist blades clean and retracted them back into his sleeves.

"_If he only had a brain…"_ Wooglebug still sang, trying not to cry at the visage of these deformed characters lying dead before him.

I only shook my head in disbelief. Then I froze in fear. THE LION WAS NEXT!

But it wasn't what I expected. Instead, the Cowardly Lion stumbled out of the office, more concerned with trying to keep it's intestines in its body than killing anybody.

Somehow the phrase "didn't have the guts" sprang into my mind, but my morals kept me from mocking this poor creature.

Madigan didn't seem to think the same way, as he said the exact same thing…out loud.

This one was a mercy kill. No threat, just putting it out of its misery quick and painlessly.

"_I'd be brave as a blizzard…"_ and that's when Wooglebug finally broke down and cried. Even though these….things were obviously not the ones he knew, it was still disheartening to see that kind of violence.

I walked up and patted him on the shoulder, no longer uncomfortable from his appearance, given the circumstances.

"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.

"_What make's a king out of a slave?"_ he managed to sing.

"Huh?"

"_What makes the flag on the mast to wave?" _

I didn't understand…

"_What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk?" _

"What?" I finally asked, wondering if these questions were directed at me.

"_Courage…"_ he said, mustering up a smile and looking at me.

"Let's go, we've probably done enough already." Madigan said taking me by the wrist and pulling me away. As we exited we were cut off by the "Dream" that the Faceless Hatter was arguing with.

"**Ah! I've been expecting you! Come with me!" **

_Not another meeting…_I let out a groan of disproval. But then again, the cat _did_ say to find allies…

We were brought into a formal looking office much like Wooglebug's but the décor suggested someone of power and ambition. A CEO type if you will.

The glowing figure sat down at his desk and sighed. "I can't believe I lost this place to that joke…" he muttered to himself.

He noticed our confused looks and apologized. Then he proceeded to explain to us about how that Faceless Hatter overthrew his Otherworld for his own purposes…


	6. Waiting For The

It was all so simple…

_**You are ordered to proceed and going to converse outside The Imaginary Friends Building where we're going to be…WAITING…to cut out the deadwood. **_

_**To clean up the city. **_

_**To put on a black shirt. **_

_**To weed out the weaklings. **_

_**To smash in their windows and kick in their doors. **_

_**For the final solution to strengthen the strain. **_

_**To follow the worms. **_

_**To turn on the showers and fire the ovens. **_

_**Waiting for the blobs, goops, the imaginings, and the re-imaginings. **_

_**The Worms will convene outside Otherworld Bus Station. We'll be moving along at about 12 o'clock down Dodgson Road…twelve minutes to three we'll be moving along Carroll Road towards Liddell Bridge. Now when we get to the other side of Liddell Bridge we're in Oz territory. It's quite possible we may encounter some Wogglebugs…**_

The memories of what he had done were pleasing company. The imaginary friends were _his_ to mold and manipulate as he pleased. _And wouldn't the Hatter be proud of his achievement_! Even though he didn't _authorize_ him to abduct or otherwise do anything to the …"_imaginaries_"…he called them, he still felt it was in his _own _best interest. The Hatter was merely a _pawn_ in a much larger scheme.

Indeed everything was going to plan…

"What's this I've been told about a surprise?" Speak of the devil.

The Hatter had arrived at his 'associate's' sitting quarters, coughing from the dust present in the other rooms. With this appearance, the shark leapt – or flew – out of his chair, and brought his face closer to that of the Hatter – although the Hatter lacked what one would call a face.

_**I've been waiting for you. I've never been so excited.**_

"Please don't hesitate in telling me what scheme you've devised." The Hatter rolled his eyes.

_**I won't.**_

The Hatter watched as the demonic predator swooped away, pulled back a curtain, and pulled a lever. The fireplace rose to the ceiling as it revealed a door made of steel.

_**After you…**_

The Hatter stepped towards the door, but not without shooting the shark a cynical glare. He had trouble opening it at first, but it soon swung open with ease, and he descended down a winding stone staircase, illuminated by the expected fiery torches. He came down to another steel door, opened it and the first thing his eyes came across was a banner with the silhouette of a shark, behind a swastika.

'_Don't Tread On Me, I'll Tread On You'_. That was the slogan.

_**Impressed?**_

The demon shark sprung out from behind the banner, actually giving the Hatter a jump. "I will be, if you have something to impress me with."

_**Of course I do! This is what I'm doing with the imaginaries. You wanted them to work for you, so here's how we're going to accomplish it.**_

"Move it." The Hatter turned around and saw, coming out of another steel door, an imaginary friend. This friend, resembling a pink squirrel, donned loose fitting striped clothes, and wooden shoes too tight for her feet. A Cheshire Cat, a leopard, marched out with her, holding a gun to her head.

"Please, please…" The squirrel friend spoke in a high-pitched voice saccharine enough to make a cynic vomit. "I don't want to go…and my shoes are too tight…"

"_Shut up!_" The leopard clawed her across the face, leaving his permanent mark.

"You're using _my_ Cheshire Cats?" The shark laughed.

_**Wrong! **_My_** Cheshire Cats, they see me as a much more capable leader than you.**_

The leopard turned to the pair. "Yeah. You _can_ be a bit pushy."

"You always find some way to _criticize _me. Now _show_ me what you want to show me."

The shark somersaulted in the air then darted down the corridor. The Hatter had to run to catch up – and he had never been one to exercise often.

_**Take a look.**_

The Hatter, now out of breath, looked up and saw a long queue of imaginaries and imaginings – and he swore he saw some re-imaginings as well – all being escorted, not only by Cheshire Cats, but hideous monsters as well.

_**Now comes the conversion. All these imaginaries will be turned towards my way of thinking. Because they **_need _**it.**_ He pointed to the squirrel. _**She was created by a five year old who liked rainbows and pretty ponies. Children these days.**_ He floated towards a biped dragon, whose wings and tail were uncomfortably restricted by his clothes. _**He's from a cancelled children's cartoon, although he has been somewhat "tricky".**_ The shark's 'arm' pointed in the direction of an elderly, balding man. _**He's from the house of a human named Dickens. And some ghosts have been putting…things in his head….**_

"And how, pray tell, do you plan on performing this 'conversion'?"

The shark lifted the Hatter by the shoulders, and took him through another door, where Beethoven's Ode to Joy blared through the air.

"I _am_ impressed…"

--

Bat, bat, come under my hat,  
And I'll give you a slice of bacon;  
And when I bake,  
I'll give you a cake,  
If I am not mistaken.

It all sounds so idyllic.

Imagine: the ability to create your own world, and, better yet, make it real. You could make it as beautiful or as natural as you want it to be. You could have a lush, green forest, a wild jungle, or even a bustling city. And you'd never have to live there alone; you could bring your entire family along with you, as well as all your best friends.

I've dreamt of places like that. I've dreamt of having my old house in a field of flowers, where Muriel could be with me and care for me without Eustace constantly yelling his head off. I've dreamt of rolling hills where I could have picnics with Sandy.

It all sounds so idyllic…

So…_disgusting_…

When you enter your new found world, the human body cannot take it and warps into a twisted parody of itself so it is as unnatural as it surroundings. Being in this world rapidly drives you mad, sucking your sanity like a leech.

_The beauty of your world means nothing, for Satan is disguised as an angel of light. _Sounds like someone's been listening to Dark Sonic too much…

The field of flowers would reduce Muriel to a quivering wreck. Sandy would be disgusted at the rolling hills and despise me for creating them. In layman's terms, the sanity of you, your friends, and your family, are the batteries to power your world. And like all batteries, they will eventually be drained…

That was the gist of what Tyr, the Dream that called us to the meeting, told me and Madigan. It was those worlds that drove Hatter to conquer _this _one in the first place, and he has ruled for decades, his army getting larger and more powerful. Many lives have been ruined by the worlds that were _supposed_ to improve them.

Tyr mentioned two examples of these worlds' effects: _Brandy and Whiskers._

Brandy was a girl who lived a miserable life, and was invited by Whiskers to stay in his Otherworld creation. She succumbed to madness after learning that everything she imagined was just as bad as what she was trying to escape from.

Whiskers on the other hand, denied he was ever a human to begin with, and grew into a god complex because of his powers as a Creator. Eventually he led to his own downfall and lost everything he ever loved.

_Such is the curse of Napoleon…_

I thought, according to the cartoon I saw one rainy day, that Brandy was a rich family's dog stranded in the Amazon with Whiskers, a disgusting rabbit with a big heart. What was all this then? Re-imaginings? Or did cartoons become twisted as a result of the aforementioned affect of this world?

And didn't I see Whiskers in one of my nightmares? Now that I think of it, he was the one that brought me to that damn tea party where I killed….

NO! Damnit! I'm not thinking of that anymore!!

"**This sorta sounds like desperation," **Tyr continued, **"but you two are our last hopes. Both of ya have been through a lot and fought a lot of…stuff."**He tries to stifle a laugh. **"It's kinda funny saying all this to such a cute little puppy."**

Gee, _thanks_…

"We will do whatever we can." Madigan bows, ever the controlled one.

"**Good ta hear it! Now follow me." **

We followed him to the door that exited out of this place, a door I didn't notice before. I glanced over to see one of the "dreams" calming Wooglebug down.

"**There are plenty of Otherworld residents that would be glad to help in your resistance! Recruit them well!"**And with that, he shoved us outside and slammed the door.

"Well, better start recruiting then…" Madigan sighed.

Considering how large the neighborhood was, it would be no easy task. Part of me thought that Tyr guy was just as insane as this world's other residents, but still, there wasn't really any other choice. Our 'plan' was to knock at random people's doors in dire hopes that they'd co-operate. Our 'first stop' was a guy named Nathan Matthew Philippson, a rat.

"This isn't about politics is it? I came here to _avoid_ politics, y'know."

"Um, no, it's…forget it."

After a few empty houses, we came to one for a woman named Georgia…Can't remember her surname. She was a white rabbit.

"Are you crazy? The Hatter is _wonderful_! Me and my kid couldn't be happier here!"

Well, we were getting nowhere...

And then…Dr. Gerhardt von Orbersohn. I remembered him. He was a poor German inventor who was so lonely his inventions actually gave life to his house. He grew so tormented with his living home, that he desired neighbors to spend time with to get away from it.

Imagine my surprise to see him in the Otherworld. All of the years of tormented loneliness must've been qualification enough to send him here, even after I helped make his house happy with much overdue spring cleaning.

It was a shame he had to wind up here though. He was a real nice man. Sure I was skeptical of him at first, but can you blame me?

Tyr told me that living people could be brought here as well, so I hope he isn't dead and just visiting.

"Ah! Courage! Willkommen! Vhat brings you to the Otherworld?"

I shrugged my shoulders. I normally didn't make it a habit to talk around people because I had enough problems already. My owners never listened, and no one else I could really trust, except Kevin, the former Agents, and Tortured Artist. They're the first non-animal outsiders I've actually revealed I could talk too.

But here in Otherworld, anything can happen, so he probably wouldn't think much of me talking now…

"I honestly don't know…" I finally said.

Dr. Gerhardt was taken aback at first, but as I suspected, he passed this phenomenon off as part of this world. "So this world can make you talk?"

"Yeah, sure…let's go with that…" I agreed.

"I don't know how I wound up here either. Everyone around here is insane, and I don't want to be among mad people!"

I remembered what the Cheshire Cat told me, about how humans go great lengths to hide their jealous faces. How they become animals. But Dr. Gerhardt wasn't an animal. He had retained his human form. I guess the transformation only applies if you want it.

After the proper introductions to Hatter Madigan, who was a bit confused as to how I could know someone in this place so well, we bid our farewells. But before we left, Dr. Gerhardt wanted to give me something…

"Take it," he handed me a small gramophone. "Its music can do wonderful things! Use it well!"

Somehow I got the feeling he knew of my quest, or something to that effect, and wanted to help. I felt like I was in one of those RPG games and got my first inventory item. Then I glanced at Madigan, my first party member.

After bidding our thanks, we left Mr. Orbersohn to enjoy his world, perhaps not for too long…

After our visit to Mr. Orbersohn, I found myself turning towards another house, as if I was being drawn to it by a spell. I read the mailbox and gasped. Gareth Paul Barsby. One of the agents. He couldn't be here, _could he_?

I ran to the door, and an anthropomorphic moose stood there, with fingers and a waitress uniform. A horrible thought crossed my mind: what if Gareth had a world of his own, and _this_ was one of his visitors? No, Gareth seemed like a nice chap…

"Hello," said the moose in a cynical tone, "My name's Claudia."

"Are you…"

"I'm a re-imagining," she replied, allowing me in, "I was originally from a kid's show, but Gareth wrote a story where I was evil…"

She sat down on an easy chair, sighing. "I'm not all that evil nowadays, only to those who annoy me." She peered at me closely. "Wait, your name's Courage, isn't it?"

At first I thought she just knew that because Gareth's knowledge could be transferred to her somehow, but then… "A hedgehog was here earlier, talking about you."

_**OH HELL NO**_.

She crept off her chair and walked towards a bookshelf. She pulled out a sketchbook and handed it to me.

Lots of the sketches were either cartoon characters like those I've witnessed in this world, monsters like zombies, vampires and Jacob Marley, or a mixture of both. I felt a pang of dread at the concept of having to face one of these monsters. I then came across a page in the middle and gasped.

The ringmaster! Bruzzini! He was right there, standing next to a camel and a rat, both looking rather nervous. The next page showed the Queen of Trolls, snarling right at me, claws on hips, standing next to, of all things, a goat. Next I see them together, Queen flashing Bruzzini an irritated glare while Bruzzini grins sheepishly. And…

"Who's that?" I pointed next to the shark, growling and salivating right next to the duo.

Claudia groaned. "All I know is that they call him 'Dark Side' or something like that. Now you're beginning to annoy me…"

I left the moose, and, as I made my way back to Madigan, I saw yet another rabbit, this one wrinkled and corpse-like, wearing an ill-fitting red tuxedo and a large hat. It spoke in a British accent.

"_Please don't dawdle Courage! We're very late!"_


	7. McGee Wonderland Part 1

That strange rabbit, he almost looked like he came form the same place as that cat.

Reluctantly, we followed this white rabbit until we lost sight of him. Was he supposed to lead us somewhere, or just annoy us?

As we searched, we came across a house that appeared more derelict than the others…. and a strange figure sitting outside. He was a pale looking teenager, wearing all black except for a blue shirt with a twisted smiley face on it. His hair came to a couple of spikes that hung over his face, and his eyes appeared that he hadn't slept in days.

I glanced around for a mailbox, and found one. On it was the name "Nny" written in dried blood.

"Oh, hello!" he replied, sounding a bit more cheerful than he looked. Yet there was something that was creeping me out about his smile. He stood up, revealing himself to be taller than he appeared. "I'm Johnny, but you can call me Nny."

He extended his hand for a handshake before realizing he was still clutching a bloody knife. He cursed himself and placed it back behind his back.

I was confused. I swore I saw him somewhere before, yet he was a complete stranger. Wasn't he in a comic book or something?

"I suppose you're wondering why I wound up here. Well, I've done some bad things in my life, but for a very good reason. The world was going to hell and I was trying to save it from its own stupidity."

He looked down at me and smiled that creepy grin again. "But obviously it was wrong, even though it felt so right. But you know how that is…:"

_Was he trying to preach to me?! _

"You're no longer killing for necessity, but for gratification. Once you start killing ones who don't deserve it, it's just a bad name for all us psychos."

"No offense," I piped up. "But you're kind of wacky."

He eye twitched. "What did you say?"

"That you're wacky."

"WHY DID YOU SAY THAT WORD?!" he screamed, brandishing that knife of his once again.

Madigan grabbed me by the scruff of my neck and jerked me away from the scene, saying he found the White Rabbit.

We ran after the rabbit until we came to the front door of the Imaginary Friends building, still covered in the unsettling graffiti. We ran inside in time to see the rabbit dive down the puddle in the lobby.

Madigan looked at me, and dove after the rabbit, leaving me confused as to what was going on.

I sighed and dove right in…

--

_If it's my keen invention_

_You'd like to destroy,_

_I'll withstand your best shot_

_I've got the right toy…_

There was a run down school, comically spelt "Skool" sitting across from where Madigan and I wound up. We walked over to investigate, and found that despite its abandoned appearance, it was still active. We walked in and saw rows of dirty, dented lockers, and dimly lit classrooms. The floor itself was falling apart, revealing, strangely, nothing but oblivion underneath it.

A piercing scream filled the air, making the both of us clutch our ears in pain. I looked up and saw something making that noise. It was some sort of…head, resting on a red spine looking protrusion and hovering in the air.

Its scream made one want to go mad. Want to go insane.

This was all probably the ploy of that damn Hatter…

Madigan managed to resist long enough to try to attack, but failed, as the thing flew away form his blades.

I fell to my knees, an unbearable pain in my head from the screams. Something whizzed past my muzzle and embedded itself into the wall. I forced myself to look to see it was a rather sizable butcher knife. I also saw my benefactor, Dark Sonic, seemingly oblivious to the screams. I guess he's heard worse.

But the fact that he's trying to suck up to me to get me to return the favor, made me sick.

I forced myself up, forcing all my will to ignore the screams so I could grab the knife. As soon as I wrapped my paw around it, I knew it was called a Vorpal Blade. Even stranger, I felt my anger being transferred into this weapon, and it seemed to fly with a life of it's own from my hand, effectively embedding itself right between the eyes of that screaming thing.

Now it was quiet, and all was well…until Dark Sonic came back. He looked down at the misbegotten thing and smirked.

"Such a shame. And to think, if you defy the ruler of this Wonderland, you'd wind up like that too."

"Go away…" I grumbled.

Dark shrugged and walked off, almost as if he knew I was going to be needing his help again…

Bastard…

We continued our exploration of this Skool and found a classroom full of what looked like trolls. But they didn't look like Troll Queen, so obviously they were probably of a different species.

They all seemed transfixed on the blackboard before them, which was adorned with scrawled writing of how great someone was. I found out who they were praising when I saw the drawing of a shark on the board. I couldn't help but grit my teeth.

_We don__'__t need no, education_

_We don__'__t need no, thought control_

_No dark sarcasm, in the classroom_

_Teacher, leave them kids alone_

It was some sort of chanting, a sweet sounding, yet disturbing voice. I looked and saw a young girl. Madigan saw her too, and ran to her.

"Alyss?" he asked, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her out of her trance.

She snapped her gaze up to meet his, her blue eyes seemingly devoid of emotion. A wicked smile spread across her face and she lashed out with a knife much like mine.

"DIE HATTER!" she screamed.

Obviously she was suffering from mycropsia, as she was probably mistaking him for the Hatter of this world. That or she was just homicidal.

Madigan managed to wrestle the knife from her lunging hands, and she collapsed, crying.

"This isn't my Alyss…" he whispered to himself, looking at this girl.

I only shook my head, as I didn't know who he was looking for. But obviously it looked like her…

Before either of us could help, she got up and ran off into the darkness. We followed her, wondering if she needed our help.

She grabbed a vial of something off the table near an impossibly small door. She drank the contents and, to our amazement, shrank into a small enough size to enter the door.

I ran up to the table and shook the vial, none of the potion was left…

"Guess we need to find another way in…" Madigan sighed.

We walked back towards the school, where the trolls were learning a new subject, one of their new queen…

_HER_! That Queen of Trolls! She was _right there_, teaching the class to _worship _her!

_That's what that girl meant by "teacher leave those kids alone"!_ I thought.

"Now class, it's time for your test!"

Yes, it was that reptilian woman I encountered last night, now wearing a wardrobe expected of teachers: a black jacket and matching skirt, with a white shirt. The blackboard was scribbled with stick drawings of her kind, one with a spear, another with a bow and arrow, another on a bridge, lunging at a goat, as well as '_I AM QUEEN_' written several times.

Wait…_test_?

Madigan and I peeked at the Queen walking towards the cupboard, throwing open the doors, and bringing out none other than the 'Great Bruzzini', tied up with a cigarette in his mouth. As he fell face first onto the floor, the class leapt from their seats and began attacking him, pulling his hair, punching his face, even taking his cigarette and stamping it on his forehead. I didn't give two shits about what would happen to him or if he would die; it would be one less idiot in Otherworld. I still wanted to kill that fucking lizard though. The way she grinned at that moment and how she was trying to gain followers, not to mention the fact that she _advertised_ this place to me…

I stared at the Vorpal blade held tightly in my paw. I wanted to kill her. But then, wouldn't that prove me mad?

I counted to ten. I took deep breaths. Still, the blade seemed to tug towards the Queen like…well, a dog. I could _reason_ with her, we could discuss things. Perhaps we could come to an agreement.

Madigan had no such plans as he burst through the door, his wrists equipped with blades shooting from the sleeves. High-pitched screams filled my ears as the class ran around the room like headless chickens while Bruzzini wriggled like a caterpillar. Queen stood perfectly still.

"Is there a _reason_ for this disruption?"

Madigan narrowed his eyes. "You remind me of someone."

"Do I now?" She bared her teeth in a way that made her look like Dracula. This didn't seem to intimidate Madigan as he stepped towards her slowly, growling. "It's a fight you want? I'm not afraid of blows, human." Removing his top hat, Madigan flung it at the Queen as it flattened into a spinning array of blades. She ducked the attack and scurried between his legs like a rat. A savage roar escaped her throat as she whacked Madigan with her tail and threw him to the floor. Before he could get up, she ran out the door. The other trolls stood silent.

_I really wish I could have helped_…

Madigan then walked up to Bruzzini and actually helped him out of his ropes.

"Are you alright?"

Bruzzini brushed himself off and said, "I like your hat. I mean, you haven't seen the last of us!" Off he went.

As we exited the classroom, the anorexic Cheshire Cat appeared in front of us again, this time accompanied by a green-skinned version of Papa Smurf.

"It's good you came," said the gnome, scratching his posterior, "At first, it was only the Red Queen that was our concern. Now…I seriously have no idea what's going on."

"Where am I?" I asked.

"I know it could use some improvements," said the Cat, "but it's home."

Madigan cleared his throat. "Who was that young girl?" The smile on the Cat's face faded.

"We thought she was our champion," the gnome choked, taking another puff of his pipe, "but now she's gone to the bad."

"Curse that wretched creature!" hissed the Cat under his breath, as he faded away.

"Oh, I wish I could do something about it, but I've grown old and weak. There is some hope for her though, as long as you two help."

It's strange, really. When you're young, you dream about being a knight in shining armour, journeying through a magical kingdom with everyone relying on you to destroy the Dark Lord™. The idea of hundreds of people cheering you on and counting on you feels good. Now for me, that fantasy is a reality, and I despise every minute of it; the people counting on me just makes it worse.

"We'll be honoured to help." Madigan bowed.

"Caterpillar could explain these strange occurrences," said the gnome, "To reach him though, you'll need a special potion. Follow me."

Papa Smurf led us through another hallway into a large library, and by large, I mean _large_. The bookcases stood as tall as skyscrapers, looking as if they held every book ever written. I stared at some of the titles: _Ghouls of Wrath, Ravages of the Three Kingdoms, A Tale of Two Carcasses, The Rime of the Ancient Murderer_… Ignoring the gruesome titles and my fears on what the pages held, I followed the gnome as he led me and Madigan to an elevator. It rose us to the 'top floor', where the gnome walked over to a large book and opened it to a recipe. He had just begun to read the recipe out loud when a bookcase swivelled around, allowing a group of living playing cards to march out, wielding spears. Great.

The gnome ran over to one of them and tried to pick a fight, but a swing of a spear sent the poor creature flying right into a bookcase, where upon landing, an encyclopaedia conked him on the head. With a swipe of his wrist-blade, Madigan sliced one card guard straight in two, causing the others to back away cowardly. Spinning around, he finished off the rest of them without even breaking a sweat. It was strange how beings of paper could bleed so much.

I could have helped. I really could have.

The gnome rubbed his head as he continued reading the recipe.

"_Mushrooms, poppies, sugar and spice,  
All those things are very nice.  
When combined, the proper mixture,  
Creates a getting small elixir._"

Suddenly, it felt like I had just taken a bad acid trip. The room and all its features began to warp and ripple until it twisted into an array of strange blobs and figures, reminding me a bit of the end of the Disney Alice in Wonderland. The psychedelic imagery faded, and gave way to some sort of hall, with a twisted staircase in the middle.

"The ingredients should be upstairs." I was about to follow the gnome and Madigan when I noticed a rather nerdy man, who sorta looked like Rick Moranis, walking around holding some books. Curiousity overcame me, and I approached him.

"Oh, hi." He sounded nervous. "I'm – Max Schneider and I'm a teacher here. Love to talk, but I-I've got a class to teach. We're doing a lesson on the possibility of building a shrink ray!"

I saw him walk into a classroom where a hideous array of monsters filled the seats. A werewolf with glasses, a vampire that looked like the Fonz, a fat female mummy, a fish creature dressed as a surfer, a miniature Frankenstein's monster…

Did I even _want_ to know?

I rejoined Papa Smurf and Madigan as they entered a long corridor, where another of those banshees greeted us, screaming right at our faces. Once again, the Vorpal blade flew from my hands and hit the creature, which burst into flame as it died. The gnome and Madigan hardly took any notice.

We entered a room that looked like some kind of greenhouse, with a strange array of plants and flora. I swore that Venus Fly Trap croaked 'Feed me'.

The gnome took from the soil a bunch of mushrooms, some poppies and a giant lollipop. Yes, a giant lollipop.

"Now let's go to the lab and mix the potion."

We opened the door into the corridor, where another platoon of card soldiers were waiting for us.

_Great_

We turned to run, and I felt the urge to look back. Supringly they weren't chasing us. Instead another card was talking to them. He didn't appear to be like the other solders though.

"We have orders from the Queen to eliminate these intruders to her realm!" the lead Club spoke.

The new card soldier shook his head. What was strange about this one, was he was the 9 of Diamonds, an odd number for a soldier. His face was a diamond shape, and the only feature was two yellow eyes.

"And I have orders from Dark Sonic to keep that dog alive for the time being. Rest assured, once he outlives his usefulness, you all can have a piece of him."

The lead Club looked at the other soldiers. "Stand down." He commanded.

"But sir…"

"I said stand down!"

The others dropped their defensive stance.

"Now, leave them to me." The Diamond said confedently.

We made our way though a maze of columns and back to the Skool. Papa Smurf mixed the potion and handed it to us. Madigan took a swig and right before my eyes, he shrank down to the size of an ant! I took a swig next, and it tasted bitter, burning all the way down. Then I felt strange, and everything seemed to enlarge around me as I became small. I was the same size compared to Madigan still, only we were much smaller.

"Now you can go beyond the door. But be wary of the insect armies!" Papa Smurf warned.

"Wait! Insect armies?"

We were shoved through the door…


	8. McGee Wonderland Part 2

"Can I help you today, sir?"

"No thanks. Just looking…"

It was none other than the magician rabbit Card Trick, at his usual hangout at the magic shop. Ever since that incident in Vegas and Rex's change of heart, things have gotten boring lately.

Something caught his eye in one of the displays. They were cards, which was of course his hobby and specialty, but unlike no other. They gave a strange glow, almost as if inviting attention to them. For the curious observer to behold their secrets.

Card Trick approached the case and looked at the cards. There were four Queens, each one vastly different:

The Queen of Clubs looked like a gaunt woman with black fangs.

The Queen of Spades was a one-eyed female lizard with blue scales and a pink dress.

The Queen of Diamonds was a gruesome blob with tentacles.

And the Queen of Hearts was the only one that looked remotely human, and the only one that didn't look sinister.

What really caught the rabbit's attention, was the Aces nearby:

The Spades had the Grim Reaper, of course.

The Clubs had an anthropomorphic Doberman dressed like a street gangster.

The Hearts had a man dressed in a blue trench coat.

And the Diamonds had…

"_Courage?!_" Card Trick was surprised. What was going on here?

"Find anything?"

"What's up with these?"

"Ah! Those are special! The deck is incomplete as you can see, but if you're ever fortunate to have the whole deck, it tells quite the story!"

"And that story is?" Card Trick asked, not sounding impressed. After what he's seen, who could?

The man got closer to look Card Trick in the eye. The rabbit felt uncomfortable and swore that the man was hiding something behind his scarf. He had bulging yellow eyes that narrowed at him, and a funny grey hat, but other than that, nothing else was visible…

"Let me tell you…"

He grabbed up the cards.

"In fact, I believe the cards are telling a story right now." The strange shop owner spoke, holding up the cards, which were glowing brighter than before.

Maximillian "Card Trick" Sylvilagus, a white rabbit himself, took interest in this story, especially if it involved Courage. He never harbored any hatred or distrust towards the dog, and in fact, thought they were friends. His pink eyes were filled with anxiousness as he listened to the story, a sandal subconsciously hanging off his foot as his normally floppy ears were now erect and alert to every detail.

The man dealt the first card, the horrific looking Queen of Diamonds.

"This is where we'll begin…" he cleared his throat. Though he was about to quote something he totally despised, he felt it suited the mood well enough to forgo his beliefs this one time.

_Forget all you know_

_Put aside your preconceived notions_

_And prepare to experience the extraordinary reality_

_Behind the fantasy_

_Of Wonderland…_

_The frumious beast opened its mouth to show the face of The Hatter within, then his mouth revealed Alice's own face within that. The face of herself began to speak…_

_This realm is for grown ups!__'__ said the Red Queen to Alice, __'__Raw, well ordered, ruthless, careening on the jagged edge of reality!__'_

_Alice collapsed to the floor, disheartened._

'_Self pitying dreamers aren't wanted here, they cannot survive here.__'_

'_You fear the truth, you live in shadows! You're pathetic attempts to reclaim your sanity have failed!__'_

_Alice refused to give up…_

'_Retreat to the sterile safety of your self delusions, or risk inevitable annihilation!__'_

Max had to admit, this mysterious guy knew how to spin a story.

His pink rabbit eyes wide with hopefulness he wouldn't have normally shown, his sandals now fallen to the floor as he climbed up on his knees in the seat. He was completely unaware of how interested in this story he was. He was intrigued, frightened, and worried all at once.

Why, it was as if the guy wanted to drive him insane…

"Did she win?" he whispered.

"Relax, my beamish boy. This story is far from over…"

--

Madigan stared at our surroundings with awe. "This is exactly like my Pool of Tears, only…different."

I could only nod in false agreement. We were surrounded by a larger than life forest, filled with twisted vines and overabundant plantlife, all covered in thick fog. It was unsettling, but what wasn't around here?

"Hold it, ah say, hold it!"

A platoon of _army ants_ approached us. Seriously! They had grey uniforms and everything!

Another, larger ant approached, dressed like a general. "I'm General Robert Ant Lee! And this heah's mah army!"

"Army of what?" I asked.

"We're the Confeder-ANTS!"

Both Madigan and I rolled our eyes and groaned.

"We're fighting the forces of the Union Ants! And so far, it looks like we're winning!"

"Didn't the Yankees win?" I asked obliviously.

"Maybe the World Series boy, but this heah's war! That, and we've got the problem of lady bugs droppin' Acorn Bombs on both of our forces! That damn Queen is ornerier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin chairs!"

"Perhaps we can help." Madigan offered.

"Are you crazy! They're the bad guys!"

"Until I'm proven otherwise, they're as against the Queen here as we are."

I could only sigh at his logic.

"Well, for startahs, you can help that Mock Turtle over theah! He's mopin' and complain' about bein' as naked as the day he was born! Somethin' about The Duchess takin' his shell for soup or somethin' of the like!"

A bugle sounded in the distance.

"That's the cue boys! CHARGE!" he commanded, raising his saber. The ants marched off to battle, leaving us very confused…

We searched around for a mock turtle, a difficult task considering the fog, and found something else entirely. It was utterly obvious why they called it "mock" turtle. It had the head of a bull, but the flippers of a turtle. His humanoid body was clad in nothing but a pair of…briefs?

"What's all this crying then?" Madigan asked, snapping the…thing from its funk.

"The Duchess tried to eat me and…wait…I know you! You're the Hatter! Get away from me! I don't want to be an experiment!" His voice was whiny, almost nerdy.

He ran off from us…

"He must have me confused for the Hatter of this world." He cringed. "We have to find him."

I nodded, trying to think of how I could finally help. As we walked I tripped over something. I picked it up and examined it.

It was a flamingo head! It was shaped like a cane almost, and I swore it winked at me!

I remember from the Disney movie that flamingos were used for croquet. But here, I assume this was to be used for anything but…

"Come on, we don't have all day!"

I nodded and continued following him.

This place was beautiful in an eerie sort of way, the huge waterfall, the lush foliage. However, the creeping fog that seemed to engulf everything like it was alive, added a small sense of dread to this pristine location. Almost as if something were waiting to spring from around the next corner.

Somehow, we walked into an ambush. These army ants however, were black, not red like the Confederants we encountered earlier.

"Well, what do we have here?" the general asked, approaching us. All of the ants wore uniforms of royal blue. "You must be the intruders the mock turtle told us about." He sized us up.

"I assure you our intentions are noble." Madigan replied, always the dignified one.

"I'm Ulysses S. Ant, general of the Union Ants! You can't fool me!" He placed his hand – if you could call it that – on his chin. "Though I must say you don't look like the Hatter from here."

"That's because I'm _not_."

"And how do we know you're not in league with the Confeder-Ants?"

"Because their joke of a name was so lame I didn't want to join." I replied offhandedly.

Everyone was silent, and I began to regret my outburst.

Then to my surprise, he laughed!

"That's Yankee humor, alright! Welcome aboard!"

"Perhaps you can help us?" I asked.

"Sure, if you help us first. You see, we've been getting a rash of ladybugs around here, and they are truly annoying. It's not helping our battle with the Confeder-Ants at all. I heard that they are in league with the Queen. If you can take them out, and help turn the tide in this war, then our services will be yours. Meanwhile, I got to continue supervising the Army of the Potom-Ant."

I rolled my eyes, another lame ant joke…

Though I found it ironic that Madigan was with me. The British always help the Americans.

So we continued our trek to find the Mock Turtle and the source of the Lady Bug invasion. As we continued to admire the scenery, we were attacked by more Card Soldiers. These were of the Diamond suit and proved their point by tossing sharp diamonds at us. Madigan leapt into action and began tearing into them without hesitation.  
I on the other hand, just stood there. I felt bad for letting him do all the work. But what could I…

"THERE!" I cried, pointing to a high cliff above us.

Madigan looked up and saw the same figure. It was that faceless Nine of Diamonds, watching us. He organized this attack!

"Sharp eyes." Madigan began trying to find a way to scale this cliff.

Oddly enough, the cliff wasn't as tall as it appeared. But then again, this is Wonderland, so when is anything as it seems?

By the time we reached the top, the faceless soldier had fled, leading us on a goose chase. We followed in the direction we saw him run, and wound up in an immense forest area. I glanced over the edge to see the area we were standing in before, and swallowed at the prospect of falling from up here.

"No time for sight seeing!" Madigan said. I snapped from my thoughts, and nodded, following behind.

As we got deeper into the forest, we began to notice the myriad plant life that dominated here. As I said before, if it wasn't for the creepy fog, this place would be paradise.

There were trees, roses, giant mushrooms….

Wait…GIANT mushrooms?

Sure enough, these mushrooms were gigantic, almost as if they were life sized compared to our shrunken state. They were a dirty brown color and looked just as innocent as everything else around here.

We thought nothing of this particular mushroom, and continued walking. But no sooner than we began walking away, an immense vacuum began pulling me in the opposite direction. The suction was so strong, I felt myself gasping for air as it was pulled from around me.

I managed to roll onto my back to see what was going on, and wished that I didn't.

The giant mushroom now had eyes, staring at me in an angry scowl. The hood of the mushroom was now pulled back, revealing a giant mouth full of fangs, and it was trying to suck me into its maw!

I frantically clawed at the dirt, trying not to get eaten. My cries for help were answered soon, as Madigan sprang into action, leaping onto the mushroom foe and stabbing it right between the eyes.

The suction stopped instantly, and the mushroom fell over, limp and rotting.

"You really should be more careful." Madigan said, sounding a bit annoyed at having to constantly rescue me.

"Sorry."

Our continued journey found another unit of Confeder-Ants, stationed in a forest of giant roses.

I began to walk forward, but Madigan grabbed me by the back of my neck. He gestured to the roses, reminding me of the mushroom incident.

I nodded, and we watched for a few moments.

The Confeder-Ants were soon ambushed by a unit of Union Ants, and they began fighting. Nothing new or exciting, but Madigan was right in his caution about the roses. Both sides of the war were soon torn to shreds by the thorns fired from the innocent flowers.

The sight of the slaughter should've disgusted me, but it somehow didn't. That worried me.

"We can't go that way." Madigan observed. "Let's try this way."

--

Bruzzini took in the surroundings, giving an impressed whistle. "This place sure is pretty!"

"Shut up!" Troll Queen snarled, looking at her map. "We're on the right track to the Queen of this Wonderland. So just keep mo…"

Troll Queen stopped herself when she noticed Bruzzini was missing. She glanced over to see the ringmaster playing in the nearby stream.

She rolled her eye. "What the hell are you doing?" she growled, wading the map in her claws.

"LOOK! I caught a fish! I knew I could!" Bruzzini shouted triumphantly, holding a blue fish-like creature above his head.

"You idiot! That's a Snark! Put it down before…"  
"AH! MY EYES!!"

"…it spits venom…" Queen sighed.

Troll Queen sighed, and grabbed the filthy ringmaster by the shoulder, pulling him along.

The Nine of Diamonds soldier watched the two characters, perfectly concealed.

The two continued walking, dodging thorn firing roses and man-eating mushrooms. When they got to a small clearing, Troll Queen stopped and looked around.

"Wait a minute! We were just here! Bruzzini, give me that map!"

"But I was doing so good at navigating…"

Troll Queen snarled and snatched the map out of his hands.

"You idiot! You only navigated us in a damn circle!" She rolled up the map and slapped it against her cohort's face.

"Sorry! You don't have to be such a bitch about it!"

Queen felt her fist twitch, wanting so much to plant itself into that ringmaster's crooked nose. She calmed herself, and sighed.

"_FINE!_ If you don't want me to be a bitch, let me lead!" she simply replied, picking the tattered map off the ground.

"_FINE!_" Bruzzini quipped like an immature child, crossing his arms and sticking his nose up in the air.

--

"Did you just hear something?" I asked Madigan, looking up at him. I swore I heard that Troll's voice echoing though the trees.

"Yes. It was a low, rumbling sound." Madigan replied, slicing though some thick plants.

That wasn't what I heard, but now I could hear it too. It sounded like something…digging.

"I hear it too." I answered, keeping my keen hearing on the alert.

As we approached another clearing, the rumbling grew much louder.

Something was burrowing underground. The rumbling reached its climax as the ground shook violently.

Emerging from the dirt, towering before us, was an immense Ant Lion. Its long pincers sent chills up my spine, as thoughts of being snapped in half came to mind.

Madigan didn't seem afraid though. We readied for battle as it let out a triumphant roar of sorts.

Before it attacked us, however, it was distracted by something rattling in the nearby bushes. All three of us looked in the direction of the noise, to see someone toss a Jack-In-The-Box. The toy landed underneath the Ant Lion, who looked at it confused.

An innocent rendition of 'Pop Goes the Weasel' played as the crank turned by itself. The toy sprang open, then violently exploded. The force of the blast knocked us backwards and sent the Ant Lion into a screaming fit of pain.

I looked up to see that Alice girl leap from the bushes, and stab her Vorpal Blade right into the giant insect's skull.  
The beast let out another roar of pain as it collapsed to the ground, dead.

Madigan dusted himself off and approached the girl.

"Thank you for your assistance. I knew you would come around."

The girl's soulless blue eyes stared at Madigan. Then that smile crossed her lips once again.

"DIE HATTER!" she screamed, lunging at him once again.

Now was my chance to help.

The girl clutched Madigan by the throat and raised the blade. I leapt at her immediately afterwards without thinking, and knocked her over on her back.

"How many times do I have to tell you?" she snarled, turned towards my direction, "I only take tea with _friends_."

She ran at me with blade raised, but I rolled out of her way. Running into the bushes, I looked over my shoulder to see her following me, murderous intent gleaming in her eyes. Just as I saw her hideous grin up close, I kicked her in the shin and whacked her in the face.

She dropped her knife.

Then she ran.

Odd.

--

"Okay, it says here that we should go…that way." Queen commanded. She looked to see Bruzzini trying to sniff a rose and get a thorn shot into his crotch. She rolled her eye and drug him away.

The echo of the Ant Lion's scream eventually reached their ears.

"What was that?" Bruzzini asked, cowering behind Troll Queen like a scared child.

"Sounds like something we should avoid." She was in no mood for obstacles, she had a monarchy to command.

As the two continued to walk, they heard a voice. A feeble old voice.

"Oh, my old bones! My old bones!"

"Stop it, Bruzzini!"

"That's not me…"

The two stopped and listened.

A deep sigh soon followed, then more moaning.

"IT'S A GHOST!"

"Shut up!" Queen snapped. "Let's see who it is. We may have been followed."

The two followed the sound, and came upon an old man, which was really a wasp, wearing a yellow wig.

"Ah, deary me." The wasp man mumbled. "Can you help a poor old soul?"

"Perhaps. That is, if you help us. You see, we're in search of the Queen of this realm and…"  
"I know nothing of a Queen. But I do know that your eye is too far in front. At least you didn't have two like that girl. Hers were useless being too far forward."  
"Girl?" Troll Queen asked, ignoring the insult.

"Oh yes, there was a girl here. I thought she'd take care of me, but instead she was real mean, and left me here!"

_Must be this world's Alice, _Queen thought to herself.

"Which way did she go?"

"I don't know. And nor do I care! The Ant Lion can eat her for all I know!"

Queen sighed and walked off, noticing Bruzzini reading a newspaper he found.

"Hey, it says here that an exploring party of Union Ants found five lumps of white sugar!"

"Any brown?" the wasp asked.

"Nope, no brown."

"A fine exploring party!" the wasp snorted.

Queen rolled her eye once again. "If you're quite done making friends, we've got a Queen to overthrow!"

The two left the wasp, and were once again being watched by the 9 of Diamonds soldier.

--

Madigan and I walked into yet another clearing. He looked at me and gave a slight smile.

"That was pretty brave, what you did back there." He commented.

I only nodded. It felt good to be useful.

"She must be the 'champion' of this world the cat spoke of." Madigan observed.

_Indeed she is._ A voice called. And before us, that skinny Cheshire Cat appeared. "But even though she's lost her mind, she retains her fighting spirit."

I only rolled my eyes, as I knew all too well how she could fight.

"You're making it further along than I thought you would. So I decided to help. The source of the Lady Bug army lies over that way."

He raised a paw to point down a nearby path.

"Thank you." Madigan said, a bit reluctantly. Obviously he had a bad experience with cats.

The cat smiled and vanished once again.

We followed the path and came to an enormous ant hill. We figured that this was one of the Army Ants bases, but we were soon proved otherwise.

Emerging from the hill, was a gigantic centipede. And by gigantic, I mean gigantic. He had to be at least 15 feet tall, compared to us.

He wore a pointed German war helmet, adorned with a swastika that had the silhouette of a shark over it.

Shark? Could it be?

"NIEN NIEN! WHO DARES COME HERE!" the beast cried in a German accent.

"We wish to speak to you about the interference of the Lady Bug army you command." Madigan bowed, removing his hat. Most people would think this a kind gesture, but after seeing what his hat could do, I knew better.

"Ah, it is a great army isn't it? Unlike those scheisse-kopf Army Ants."

"We just saw them killed," I said.

He chuckled as if I had told a joke. "That only proves my point."

Madigan ignored my comment. "We want to know what the Queen of this world has planned, and why you are in allegiance with her."

"ZAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! NIEN!" The Lady Bugs flew high into the air and dropped what looked like large acorns in our direction. We successfully dodged the attacks, but the smoke clouded our vision and left us coughing.

The centipede held out his arm in front of his face. "BRING FORTH…THE MARBLE!"

Marble?

Sure enough, a large Lady Bug flew towards us, clutching a marble in its legs. It dropped to the ground with a mighty thump, and rolled quickly in our direction. The centipede's laughter flooded our ears.

We fell down a hole.

--

Still unaware of the Nine of Diamonds, the Queen of Trolls and Bruzzini trekked along the strange world, and found themselves being distracted by the loud creaking of a rocking chair.

"Just ignore it," Queen had said, but soon she found herself staring at the reclining three-eyed monster by the derelict cottage.

"'Ello love."

Bruzzini tipped his hat, but the Queen nudged him on the shoulder. "We have no time for this!"

"But I made cakes!"

"Ooh, cakes!"

"You can have all the cakes you want when we're finished! Now, let's go!" So, the troll grabbed Bruzzini by the shirt and dragged him away.

"Yer dad's not dead, ya know, Queenie."

She stopped dead in her tracks.

"What is she talking about?"

The Queen slapped Bruzzini across the face.

"Nothing! Now _move_!"

After watching the two trot along their merry way, a grin lit the monster's face.

Only a matter of time…

That troll will cease to be interference, and become nothing more but a gibbering wreck.

The dog will be begging to join _on his knees_.

"Where's supper?" bellowed a voice from inside the cottage.

"Keep yer hair on."

--

Both of us tumbled down the dirty hole into a tunnel of some kind, and we still found ourselves running frantically from the marble. The gleaming behemoth rolled quicker and quicker, and seemed to make its very surroundings tremble. Soon enough, we burst through another opening, where the marble got stuck.

Close call.

"Ah, I see the Voracious Centipede has been quite the thorn."

We turned and saw what looked like a hybrid between an old man and a fat bug, puffing on a hookah.


	9. McGee Wonderland Part 3

Sitting high and mighty atop a throne made of pebbles, the fat green caterpillar stared at us with pale and beady eyes as it took a languid poof of his hookah. While I could only wince at ther perversion of such a familiar Wonderland image, Madigan stood and looked confident.

"In my world," he said in his stoic tone, "we hold your kind in highest regard."

"Do you really?" The caterpillar wheezed.

"You are considered the wisest of the wise, you can see the future and all possible futures. If it were not for you, I and Alyss would not have been able to dethrone Redd."

"As of this moment, I'm afraid I can't afford the luxury your caterpillars have, and this leads to much worrying on my part."

"You remind me a lot of them though, and that's more than I can say about anything in _this _world."

After taking a deep breath, I decided to speak with the fat green thing myself. "Do you have any idea what's going on here?"

"A few tidbits, but the subject of this world is the one I am wisest about."

"OK then, then could you tell us about this world? About that freaky girl and the school and whatnot?"

"That 'freaky girl' is this world's creator." Figures. "Believe it or not, this world was not always the nightmare you see before you. To call it idyllic would be an overstatement, but all of us were still happy. Most of us, anyway. That all changed when the girl, Alice, lost her parents in a savage fire. Her mind had never been the most stable one, but it completely collapsed after that dreadful incident. She nearly destroyed us, but she started to rebuild after a few years. Only one thing stands between her and our restoration..."

"That is?"

"The Queen of Hearts. For as long as we can remember, she was always ruled us with an iron fist, and has made it her goal in life to make Alice succumb to her."

"That sounds just like the Hatter we're dealing with!"

"The faceless man? I have heard many stories about him, but I digress. She only grew more powerful with Alice's weakening mentality and I have heard the chance that Alice may regain her sanity sent her into a panicked frenzy. However, that fear seems to have evaporated. With Alice raving and unpredictable, she may have had the final laugh."

This gave me a huge lump in my throat, as I remembered all the times I feared Dark Sonic would finally win, leaving me weak and helpless as he gleefully watched his master plan come into fruition. I've tried to shrug off that image a few times; why should some goofball Sonic-clone who watches too many movies be of any threat to me? Not to mention, in this world, he's powerless. Still, I know how his devious mind works, and I'm sure there's still a way he can pull off his unique brand of mischief.

"Why does she want to drive Alice insane?"

"So her rule can be complete. With Alice brave and willing to oppose her, she isn't as mighty as she would have wanted to be. With a helpless and hopeless Alice, her power is absolute."

"And this Alice...is your only hope?"

"We at first thought that Alice was the only one who could save us, and that this was her world and her world alone. However, with recent discoveries brought to light, this world could as well be anyone's."

"Right."

"From what I've gathered, you two are the most likely to overcome the madness that has been sweeping this land and others just like it. If you eliminate the Queen of Hearts, this world may stand a chance of being restored, and Alice may gain back the sanity she's been craving. I may not have the all-powerful prophetic abilities of this man's caterpillars, but I strongly believe the path you must take lies in the Fortress of Doors. Also, try to find the Pale Royals if you can. Beyond that, things are hazy and unclear."

"Yeah, yeah, but how are we supposed to find it when we're three inches tall."

"Three inches is a very good height to be!"

"Look, we have no time for this..."

"Fine then." He broke off a piece of a nearby mushroom and handed it to me. "This'll make you grow larger. I wish I could help you further, but I'm far too old for physical combat, which is why I rest here, in one of the few places untouched by insanity. Excuse me, I must rest now." With that, he slumped on his rock and fell asleep. We did what he told us too and in a mere milli-second, we were back to our normal selves.

"We have no time to lose!" barked Madigan, which immediately made us both dart off in search of the fortress. We searched the land for what seemed like hours, seeing nothing but warped trees and wilted flowers, with the occasional lava pit, and sometimes a grisly ghoul would appear to stop us, but Madigan would finish it off in a matter of seconds. Still, our searching was not in vain, as we soon reached a looming Dracula castle in a clearing, surrounded by several jagged mountains.

As the caterpillar let out a series of hoarse snores, two figures emerged from behind a rock. The Troll Queen and her lackey.

"Those two are headed for the Fortress of Doors!" said the troll, "Maybe they can lead us to the Red Queen!"

"But this place is spooky and weird!" said Bruzzini, "They may get killed."

Troll Queen smacked her lips. "Then we'll have less hindrances won't we?"

With the fortress in sight, we slowly approached, looking over our shoulders all the while for any attacks. It had only been a short while since I first stepped foot into this place and already it was beginning to grate on my nerves rather than disturb me. With a single step, the clearing we were walking on broke into pieces, all floating on a blue, swirling abyss. I was so used to weird things happening to me all the time that I could only groan. Nobody told me there'd be jumping involved in all this. Madigan didn't seem too fazed about this, and leapt from piece to piece with acrobatic ease. I wasn't the most athletic dog, however, and I am ashamed to admit I almost fell into that vortex. However, what mattered was we reached the fortress and had begun to look through the doors for something useful.

All that looking to no avail. Most doors opened to another spinning vortex, almost pulling us in to join the furniture in its eternal swirling, and others were locked. A while later, Madigan found a door leading to the inside of a Victorian house of some kind, complete with fireplace and dining table. Maybe the person living there might be interested in helping us?

All hopes of that happening were immediately dashed when Madigan was knocked over backwards following a miniature explosion. Out of the door lunged a huge green witch holding a pepper shaker. Instantly, I knew it to be the Duchess, but not the one I feared would attack us. Not the blue tentacle-bearing creature that made me murder Eustace and Muriel...that moment repeats itself in my head over and over again...

So I gasped when, wriggling onto the scene, came the blue, slimy, three-eyed, writhing Duchess, lifting me up with one of her tentacle arms.

"Aren't you a tricky one?" In an instant, I landed to the floor with a harsh thud. "Dis is all useless, ya know. 'Specially wit my new friend!" I turned around to see Madigan fighting the witch, with the latter trying to bite the former's head off with an elongated jaw. I ran to help him, but a slimy tentacle knocked me out of the way. "C'mon, mate, let me 'ave a go!"

Madigan turned to me as he fought the two duchesses, gasping. "Don't worry about me, just keep looking for something useful. I'll join you shortly!"

"But..."

"Go!" I can't say I didn't appreciate his dedication. Staying so calm against such odds...

The terror and confusion of the scene made me bolt down a hallway I had never seen before. It seemed to go on forever, but I forced myself to continue, ignoring the obnoxious spiders crawling all over the walls and the constant 'drip, drip' sound I kept hearing. There _had_ to be something that could help me at the end of this corridor and, although I was sure what it was would turn out to be unpleasant, I was still determined to find it. After much walking, I came to the end of the hallway, where a mirror hung on the wall.

Not a mirror – a looking glass. Wonderland Looking Glass. Everyone knows that.

Sure enough, upon placing my paw on the glass, it began to ripple. After the test proved successful, I pulled back my paw and fell over on my back, dedicating some time to ponder on the matter. Of course I'll progress on my quest if I go through the glass, won't I? Or would it be a trap set by that Hatter or any of his cronies? No, I'm not scared of them. They think I am, but I'm not. With that thought in mind, I leapt to my feet and leapt through the glass, feeling as if I had been turned inside out as I did so.

Thankfully, I wasn't ambushed by a mutant army or anything like that. Instead, the unmistakable aroma of sulphur and fire touched my nostrils as I found myself on charcoal rocks, on a mountain overlooking an orange pool of bubbling lava. I'm pretty sure this wasn't in the book.

A high-pitched whine takes my focus off the lava, and I see, leaning against a brick wall, the most hideous thing I've ever seen.

It reminded me of all those that ate that 'Flantasy Flan', only they didn't have their guts spilling out of their stomachs or worms trying to eat them. I felt like I would vomit, especially as it warbled out a certain song:

'_Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,_

_Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,_

_All the King's horses and all the King's men,_

_Couldn't put Dumpty together again._'

Was this _the_ Humpty Dumpty, in the flesh (bad choice of words, considering his situation)? Wasn't he an egg? Well, considering what I've seen so far, this shouldn't surprise me, but I still found it hard to look at the creature. I almost hoped the worms would eat him. Maybe he'd be put out of his misery.

"Ugh…help me…" I ignored it. "Aren't you Courage?"

"What is it to you?"

"It's a stupid name! What does it mean?"

What? He doesn't know what Courage means? Is he retarded as well as disgusting?

"My name perfectly describes the shape I am. Your name is inappropriate. You have no courage _at all_." That accusation sounded so strange with the voice he spoke with. And I have no Courage? I've been through this hell of a Wonderland, haven't I? "You can't be called Courage if you have no courage! And your girlfriend isn't made out of sand!" Originality obviously isn't this creature's strong point. I just turn around and leave.

"Wait! I can help you!" Why should I listen to you? "The White King has been usurped!"

Didn't the Caterpillar say to seek the Pale Royals?

"The King tried to put me back together again, then he got overthrown. After that, the new King's army just got these worms to do away with me. They said I was a nuisance. Can you imagine? _Me_?" I _definitely_ can't.

"Who overthrew him?"

Humpty opened his mouth as if about to answer, but a snake crawled out of one of his rolls and bit him. So he died. That's one less weirdo alive.

Without anyone to guide me, I just walked around the area, kicking rocks, making some attempt at finding something that may help me. Maybe there's another looking glass that I could use to go back home. That's it; I want to get out of here _now_. Forget saving the Wonderlands, let them save themselves. If all of them have people like Humpty, maybe they don't deserve saving.

"TICKETS PLEASE!"

I leapt a mile as I heard the hideous voice ring out from the train.

Yes, a train now stood before me, not even running on any tracks.

And, with a blink of an eye, I was inside the train, with the guard staring over me with narrowed eyes accentuating his wrinkles. "TICKETS!" He held out his hand, that looked like it had been mummified.

"Don't keep him waiting!" came a collection of voices that sounded like a strange choir, "His time is worth a thousand pounds a minute!"

"Well, I haven't got a ticket, OK!"

"Should have brought one from the engine driver, then." His breath smelled like cigarette smoke.

"I didn't have the fucking chance!"

"Don't use that language with me, cur." With that, he kicked me straight through the window, on a floating black cube. A floating black cube in space. Fucking space. Everywhere I looked, I saw stars, as well as more floating cubes, all leading to some sort of castle, sitting smugly atop a floating island. For a minute I ignored the fact I was miraculously breathing in space and focussed on reaching the island. Hop, skip and jump…white cube. Leap onto another black cube. It was like Super Mario.

Tick, tick. Tick, tick.

When I reached the floating island, I found myself in a monochrome village of some kind, dominated by a gigantic clock tower with continually spinning hands and no numbers. Black and white squares adorned the floor, and even the sky resembled a chessboard. The only sound I heard was the creaking of a wooden sign. I _really_ had to leave.

Another sound filled my ears, this one more human. What I assumed to be the White King lay before me, gasping and crawling over the floor.

"I need a ham sandwich!" he cried.

I sighed. "Look, I've got bigger things to…"

"Then help me with these 'fairy pieces', as they call themselves. They're ruining everything!"

"Where can I find these fairy pieces?"

"At the giant chessboard around that corner!"

As I turned that certain corner I experienced a strange sensation; my legs fused together into one, my head twisted into a different shape and I grew thicker. I had become a chess piece. An unorthodox one at that.


	10. McGee Wonderland Part 4

The sky above was nothing but a wall of grey clouds, with the black chess squares moving across the sky in a board pattern, revealing star filled space within. This place was made even more disturbing by the fact that everything was monochrome, like Otherworld.

The only sound other than the ominous ticking was the calming sound of the nearby fountain. A cold wind was blowing through as well, causing shivers up my spine.

Suddenly, a loud grinding noise caught my attention, and two massive white doors opened. A Bishop came out and stood guard.

"Um…excuse me…" I asked.

"What? What is it?!" The Bishop snapped.

"Well…where am I?"

The Bishop sighed at my ignorance. "You're just like that Alice girl that was here…"

HER!

"I suppose you want to be a Queen too?" he asked, his accent annoying me for some reason.

"No…I'm not like that…Mr. Bishop…"

"That's me rank! Call me by me name! Episcopus!" he said proudly, pointing to himself with his thumb.

I rolled my eyes. "So what is this place?"

"It's a great game of chess being played all over the world!" Episcopus gestured at the expanse around him with his spread hands.

"Really?" I asked, wide-eyed somewhat.

"Nah…"

I scoffed at that lame joke. "Shouldn't there be like…I don't know…grass and rivers and stuff? This is Wonderland, right?"

"No! This is Looking Glass Land! Which is opposite of Wonderland!"

"So this place is even more screwed up?"

"After that Alice girl went mad, yes." Episcopus hung his head slightly. "Now it's this dreary place, and the Red pieces are being right arses…"

"Red? I heard something about 'Fairy Pieces'…"

"Them too…those Black pieces and their unorthodox moves messing about! No respect for royalty!"

Snapping back to a positive attitude, Episcoups beckoned me to follow him. I tried to, but couldn't move.

"You're a Chess piece now! You have to move the way your piece would! Just watch out for the spikes and blades and things!"

Why did he sound passive when he warned me about that? Was this common?

So apparently I was a…Bishop myself. So I had to move diagonally on the White squares.

Why did I get the feeling that everything was moving along with me? I felt like I was going nowhere.

--

"_Well, well, seems you aren't the toast of the town after all._"

The Hatter turned towards the living shadow with his eyes blazing in fury. "And what are you implying?"

"_Oh, nothing, just that Sharky seems to have his own agenda._"

The Hatter snarled. "I was afraid of that. Is he working for you?"

"_I wish I could say so, but no. His pet crocodile hates me. But I do have a good idea what he's planning…_"

"What is he planning?"

"_That's for me to know and for you to find out, have a seat and we'll talk._"

The Shadow gestured and a chess board appeared in between them. The pieces were customized to reflect the players:

The Hatter's side had him as King, March Hare in the Queen position, and Cheshire Cats of different ranks for Bishop and Rook. The pawns looked like people that had pass through before. Included, was Courage.

The Shadow's side had him as King, and various demons as the other pieces, including Courage and several imaginary friends as the pawns, only they were demonic forms.

"It's so nice we could put aside our differences and play a game of chess." The Hatter said, squinting at the board to plot his first move.

"_Indeed,_" the Shadow replied. "_It will be the last for a while._"

The Hatter glanced up at this cryptic message. "What are you implying?" he narrowed his eyes.

"_I think I may have found my perfect weapon! I thought that **Wilt** guy, or whatever his name was, had potential! But this young lad is **though the roof**! I've never seen so much darkness and revenge harbored within one innocent soul before!_" the Shadow explained, not trying to hold back his joy. An amorphous tentacle slithered from under the trench coat and grabbed the Courage pawn, holding it up to examine it before placing it on the board.

The Hatter observed this move and countered accordingly. "I assume you're talking about that demonic hedgehog? I grew weary of him and stripped him of his powers."

"_No, I am talking about the mutt that had come to **free** the hedgehog. He's so torn about doing the deed that his rage is **perfect**! And what he did back in Las Vegas, well, he proved his worth right there…_" the Shadow gloated.

"If he's as heroic as you've told me in the past, you may have opposition." The Hatter said smugly.

"_He's only **begun** to realize **my** interference. And it's **too late** to stop it **now**. For years he **assumed** that all the strange events in his life were the doing of **that hedgehog**. In reality, all **he** did was pull the strands of fate to bring them together. **I** was the one who made their presence known to each other **long before** they realized it._"

"Synchronicity," The Hatter replied, a hint of admiration.

"_**Much more than that**! The mutt had grown so **used** to his miserable existence that he was **totally oblivious** to any connections **at all**. Even when that **hedgehog** tried to take all the credit, it **wasn't** shocking. But now, thanks to **my **actions, he's slowly beginning to **realize** that he was **never** in control of his own life, even **before** that abomination was created!_"

"I must say, that you've really outdone yourself. Not only did you alert me to his presence here in Otherworld, you told me everything I need to sway him to my side." The Hatter mused.

"_Perhaps. But perhaps not._" The figure replied cryptically. He picked up his Knight and moved. "_Checkmate._"

And with that, he was gone, leaving the Hatter to stew in his own thoughts.

"BAH!" The Hatter scoffed, swiping his hand to smack the board off the table.

--

The ground shook violently as if an earthquake hit. What was that about?

After making my way though the little obstacle course, I was returned to my normal dog form and found a lever. Pulling it caused a water wheel to spin and raise the water level.

As I explored further, I found a bunch of dead Red Pawns. There was blood all over the tiles, and it looked like White was winning…only…it wasn't White.

It was a Black piece, shaped like a man in royal garb.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"I'm the Chancellor! I can move as a Rook or a Knight! I am here on behalf of King Janus. He sent me to rid of the Red Army."

"Well, I'm with the White guys and…"

"I am supposed to rid of you too!" he spoke, and drew his sword.

As I was about to engage the Chancellor, another piece, this one White as well, charged in. It was a Knight, and he let loose on the Chancellor until he fell, dead as the Red soldiers he had conquered.

"Thanks, I thought I was a gonner…"

The Knight snatched me up and took me to a safe place.

"Thanks, Mr…"

"My name is Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, but you can call me Lewis!"

"Uh…huh…"

"The White Queen has been captured by that horrible Red army, and we must save her!"

"So we got to find the Red Queen?" I asked.

Lewis nodded. "Indeed!"

I sighed. "Let's get this over with then…"

After becoming a Knight myself and having to move like one, I thought we'd never get to the White Castle. The White King greeted me and warned me of what was going on.

"Did you bring my ham sandwich?"

"NO!" I cried.

"No need to get snippy! The White Queen has been captured by a most peculiar Chess piece…"

"One of the Black pieces, right?" I asked.

"No, she was the Red Queen, but other than the red dress and shoes she wore, she had blue skin…and one eye…"

"WHAT?!" Her! So she was trying to be queen of this realm too?

"I thought it strange myself. But nonetheless, without the Queen, Red wins and we're doomed."

"I don't play much chess…" I admitted.

"Don't worry, there are no rules. There's barely any time for strategy! Just stage a frontal assault on the castle!"

"I'm sure there will be more traps and enemies to deal with?"

"Indeed! I won't lie to you!"

"You sound like someone else I know…a certain hedgehog…"

"Truth first in war! Boosts morale! Now then, take this soldier to the White Queen!"

A Pawn hopped up, sounding like a baby as it moved, and shrunk down for me to carry.

"That's all I get?"

"Sorry, we can't risk anymore powerful pieces now. We barely have enough Pawns to stave off those Black pieces!"

I sighed, giving up trying to barter anymore help, and walked out with my Pawn.

--

Little did Courage realize, he was too late…

The Queen of Trolls, with her red dress glistening in the few strands of light that managed to filter through, was smiling more than she ever had before.

Finally, a Queen position was in her grasp! All she had to do was finish off the White Queen, who was struggling within the guillotine she was trapped in.

Granted it wasn't much, but it was a start. If she could command this army, she could seize power from the Red Queen who ruled this hellish Wonderland. And be one step closer to her goal.

Licking her teeth as if savoring the moment, she couldn't help but say an obvious line.

"OFF WITH HER HEAD!" she cried, and with a swift motion, the blade came down and severed the White Queen's head, her blood staining the white spaces to the color of the red.

Now in control, the clouds began to tint with red, showing who was in power now.

"HEY! I just saw that dog!" Bruzzini cried, running up to Troll Queen. He stopped to catch his breath as Troll Queen turned her gaze towards him.

"Well, you're my Pawn! So protect your Queen!"

"You don't have to be a bitch about it!" Bruzzini protested.

Troll Queen grabbed Bruzzini by the back of his neck, and forced him to look at the dead White Queen. "You want to wind up like her?" she seethed.

"No…"

"Then stop him!" she barked, shoving Bruzzini in the direction he came from.

--

I came to a stop outside the Red castle, and saw none other than that stupid ringmaster come rushing out, looking for a fight.

"I'm here for the White Queen." I announced, figuring he'd be dumb enough to point me in the right direction.

"Well, you're not getting her! She's already dead!"

Oh crap…she was dead? So what was the point of this then?

Bruzzini began attacking, swinging his axe wildly as he lunged towards me. I ducked out of the way and he tripped and landed hard on the ground.

"I don't want to do this." I said, my voice registering irritation at this obstruction. That's all these guys were to me anymore, was an obstruction. And that bothered me…

"**SILENCE!**" a booming voice rattled the ground, and a massive chess piece, bigger than any of the others, came into view. It was a Knight, but with two heads. One was facing the opposite direction and was rotting like a corpse.

"You must be Janus…" I observed.

"**YOU WILL PLAY MY GAME! IF YOU WIN, YOU CAN GO!**"

I didn't need to ask what would happen if he won. Which I was going to make sure that wouldn't happen.

--

"You'll make a fine meal! Fit for a king!"

Madigan twirled about the hall of doors as he tried to locate the source of that incessant taunting. The Duchess he had chosen to focus his strength on had turned herself invisible, while the other, more monstrous one sat by and egged her partner on. For a split second, the green witch had made herself visible, but only to kick Madigan in the gut. While he knew this was to be a hard fight, Madigan persisted, as he remembered his vow to never rest until he had at least delayed any longing effects of Black Imagination. These two characters seemed to reek of it.

Or was that smell _pepper_?

Indeed, he saw pepper dance around the halls, and apparently taking on a shape. With his quick mind and imagination, Madigan deduced the Duchess' disguise and attacked the humanoid cloud of pepper with his wrist-blade. The green Duchess returned to her 'normal' state and screamed in agony. With a kick, the hag slammed against a wall and sneezed. Madigan thought this a strange reaction, but still was ready to fight. His urge to fight seemed to fade, but only for a moment, when another sneeze made the witch's head inflate. Another sneeze, and her head exploded in a flurry of blood, brains and pieces of skull. Madigan gave a brief pose of victory, which became a grimace when an eyeball splattered on his face.

"Ah well, she wasn't dat good a company anyway," said the blue Duchess, wiggling her tentacles.

Out of nowhere, the Mock Turtle ran in, flailing his flippers excitedly. "News travels fast 'round here!" he said in his high-pitched voice, "I'm grateful. Now where's my shell?"

"I'd like to shove dat shell in yer cake-hole!" said the remaining Duchess, sniffing. With that, the Mock Turtle leapt to Madigan's rescue, and gave the Duchess a big, wet slap in the face with one of his flippers.

"No!" cried Madigan, "Let..."

The Mock Turtle didn't listen to Madigan's pleas and continued to battle the Duchess in his own special way, to which she retaliated by wrapping her tentacles around his scaly legs and sending his tumbling to the ground. Seeing an innocent, hapless creature suffer like this set off something in Madigan which caused him to charge at the Duchess, still wielding his wrist-blade. Seeing this, the Duchess flattened her body, causing Madigan to slip on her as he would a banana peel. With a quick leap, Madigan sprung back on his feet, just in time to see the Mock Turtle try to attack the Duchess by charging at her with his bull-horns. All it took was for her to take a step out of the way, and the turtle came crashing into a brick wall, moaning as debris knocked him on the head.

"Ha ha! Wot a laugh!" The Duchess held her sides while boisterously laughing, but her laughter dried up when Madigan zoomed towards her, holding his wrist-blade in a menacing manner. "Wotch it!" Upon Madigan's threat, she dug into her dress and pulled out a pepper shaker. "I've got a pepper shaker and I'm not afraid to use it!" A smirk crossed Madigan's face at the unveiling of this new weapon, especially as the myriad weapons of Wondertropolis had spoiled him. Seeing the smugness in his face, Duchess snorted and grinded a glowing powder of some kind onto a pile of bricks. This powder had a strange effect on the bricks, as they all grew legs and began throwing _themselves_ at the Mock Turtle. One of them hit Madigan between the eyes, which became the final straw which caused him to chase the Duchess through a door, ending up right in the halls of an asylum.

A familiar one.

--

"T**he game is Janus Chess! Each side gets two Janus and two extra Pawns!**"

Pawn! Of course! Pawns can be promoted to Queens! That's why I had to bring it with me!

Before I could start playing, I glanced over to see Dark Sonic sitting at the sidelines, stuffing his face with popcorn.

"You look so delightful dressed in rage!" he mused, taking another handful into his mouth.

I rolled my eyes, and continued to listen to Janus.

"Cheshire Cat rules also apply. Any space a piece leaves will disappear from the board."

As if I wasn't confused enough…

"_Did someone say Cheshire Cat?_" an all too familiar voice asked, and out appeared that skinny Cheshire Cat. "I must say I'm kid of honored that they would use my name in such an intelligent game."

"Now you decide to help me!" I reply.

"People can only help themselves. You know that as well as I. I merely point you in the right direction. And I will tell you this. Janus failed to mention that he is the Royal Piece. Focus on taking him down and you will win the game!"

"How do I do that?"

"His army is already unorthodox, so what's to say you can't do the same? Find a style that suits you and abuse it like no tomorrow…"

With a grin, he vanished once again.


	11. A Not So White Knight

Alistair is property of CrazyCTCDFan and can be found in her stories "Eternal Azure" and "What the Soul Holds" which are found here:

(www. fanfiction. net/u/469092/CrazyCTCDFan)

--

"Damn traffic was murder…" Armadillo Rex snapped as he finally walked up to the door and knocked loudly with his metal fist.

"Who is it?" Jonathan asked, jerking his attention from packing long enough to glance at the door.

"I got your phone call! You're paying for the gas by the way!" Rex replied.

Without any further words, Jonathan opened the door and let Rex in. "Thank you for coming on such short notice."

"Well, it's the least I could do after what happened in Vegas after all…and Cindy said she needed some 'time alone' or something…"

"Problems?" Jonathan asked, quirking a brow.  
"Not that I'm aware of. _So_!" Rex instantly changed the subject of the conversation, clasping his hands together. "Where's this Derek guy I'm supposed to babysit?"

"Right here." Chris answered, guiding a nervous Derek into the room, the latter bearing a pale face and hair twisted into a black mop.

Rex walked up and crouched down enough to look Derek in the eyes. "What's wrong? I'm not that scary am I?"

Derek instantly lunged forward and grabbed Rex's shirt, jerking him closer to his large, bloodshot eyes. "I've got to get back to Otherworld!" he groaned.

Rex froze at the mention of that place. "You too huh?" he muttered, eliciting a nod from the wreck before him.

"He's been like this since we met him." Gareth added, walking into the room. "He needs to be on suicide watch, and we'll be too busy looking for Courage to keep an effective eye on him."

"Makes sense. I can keep myself amused." Rex nodded, trying to play off the awkward silence from the mention of that place.

"Xbox is over here!" D.M. added, waving to Rex. She was the happiest to see him again, and that made everyone else comfortable.

"I heard C.T. was in town, anyone seen him?" Rex asked, remembering his rabbit friend from Vegas said he was going on vacation to get away from it all. Everyone shook their heads.

"If we do, we'll tell him where to find you." Jonathan replied, and held the door open for everyone else to file out. "We're starting our search here anyways, as I think he'd come looking for me to confide in."

Rex waved them off as he found Halo 3 and threw himself into the chair. As he did, Derek slowly sat beside him. "What?"

"I…just want to watch. Looks interesting."

"Um…okay. I'm going to have a quick game, then you're going to tell me what you know about this…Otherworld."

--

"I already told you, I don't play much chess!" Ignoring my whines, a lowly Pawn moved forward, and readied for attack. This made me remember the Pawn I had. The one I had to promote. If only I could get to the other side of the board.

"Excuse me, pardon me. Please move aside, you twit!"

That voice! That accent! That… '_twit_'! A pang of familiarity jolted me, then transformed into eye-rolling nausea which made me cringe. Why of all things, did he have to be here? And how did he get here anyway? And how would an inanimate computer aid _any_ side?

Glancing up, I saw a dog that looked almost exactly like me, but had blue fur with a matching aura, like Muriel had when she was possessed by that damn Computer. He also wore pink glasses, which I thought was kind of amusing.

"COMPUTER?!"

"Let's get one thing straight!" he snapped. "The name's Alistair now, and if you don't like it you can kiss my glowing blue…"

Alistair cut himself off when he saw me. His ears instantly drooped as he hung his head. "Oh, great…"

"What's all this? Where did you get that body?" So many questions flooded my mind at this moment that I couldn't pick which to ask first.

"None of your damn business! I've got issues of my own, and no time to play your stupid…" he looked at the chess pieces. "…games."

That's it! Computer…er…I mean Alistair, was a machine after all. At least I still thought he was.

"I could use your help…" I said sheepishly.

Alistair walked right up to me, slowly and with a slight tic in his eye. "You ALWAYS need my help! It's because I help you that I'm in this mess in the first place…" A slight but sadistic scowl crossed his glowing face. "…TWIT!"

I cringed at this outburst. Normally when he calls me names, I think he's joking. But this time, I could sense he meant every word.

"I'm sorry if I…"

"Just shut up." And with that, Alistair restarted his trek across the board.

"ARE WE GOING TO PLAY?" Janus boomed, seeming annoyed by this interruption.

I nodded, and moved forward, since none of the other Pawns would.

--

He didn't have to be so rude, did he? Courage was partially responsible for this situation in the first place…

Finally reaching the end of the board, Alistair stepped off awkwardly and turned to come face to face with Dark Sonic.

"Excuse me, I have places to get to"

As Alistair began walking past the hedgehog, the demon shot out a hand and grabbed the dog's invisible cybernetic wing. One of the wings he kept hidden by magic, which was instantly overrode with a sudden demonic surge. Almost like an impurity.

This sudden jolt caused Alistair to collapse in pain, as it felt like when his wings were torn off. Before he could even howl at his agony, Dark Sonic walked up to the crumpled form and grinned.

"I've been meaning to talk to you…you really should help Courage…"

"_Him_? Why should I help that twit?" Alistair wheezed as he pulled himself up.

"Because, helping him helps me."

"I very much doubt I'd want to help _you_ as well."

Ignoring him, the hedgehog added, "Which in the end, helps you."

Alistair gave the hedgehog a confused look.

"You see, I want to destroy this place, but I need my powers. Courage was responsible for bringing me here, and he can get me out. The longer he survives, the better the odds he'll escape this place and take me with him. Then I can destroy this place and no one will have to worry about it again!"

"As much as I'd like to see this place destroyed," said Alistair, "I still don't want to help you or the twit!"

"Look, I know of your habit of pissing off the wrong people. You don't want to piss me off."

"I'm not afraid of you!"

"Perhaps not, but there are others you will be afraid of. And if you piss them off, you'll never escape here."

Alistair turned his stare towards the chess board. As much as he hated to admit it, the hedgehog was right…he did need to watch his mouth. And he certainly didn't want to be trapped here forever.

Dark Sonic leaned in to whisper into the dog's ear.

"Everything you imagine turns to crap. If you help Courage, you can get out of here and make things right…if not for you, do it for the memory of Hannah…"

Alistair snapped his head around. "How did you know about…"

Dark Sonic was already back to watching the game.

--

Watching, I held my paws tightly to my face in frenzied frustration. White was getting their asses kicked! We already lost four Pawns and a Bishop to those black pieces, and their weird movements didn't help my lack of chess knowledge any further. The White King was right, there were no rules.

"KNIGHT TO E7!" Alistair screamed across the board.

I smiled at the fact he decided to come around, but then I was confused by what he just said.

"WHAT?"

"MOVE YOUR KNIGHT TO THE SQUARE TO YOU'RE FRONT LEFT, YOU TWIT!"

Now _that_ was the Computer I knew. Just as I was about to make my move, the Cheshire Cat, languidly lying atop a short wall. "I'd listen to him if I were you. He seems quite the gamemaster, I mean he did beat you in a lot of solitaire games!"

"I _am_ listening to him!" I said as I moved my knight, "I don't have to like it but I'm doing it!"

"I thought you and him would be the best of friends, really. Me, I don't have much use for technology, but you and 'Alistair' are really two peas in a pod."

"Just shut up and let me concentrate."

"Fine. I mean, you've got Madigan and now the computer dog. I'm _obsolete_, so I'm off for a rest." With that, he disappeared without a trace, leaving us to the game. As I played, I appointed Alistair my 'general' to my private in a way; he barked out orders, and I followed them. Tension and ennui are a couple of emotions you never expect to feel at the same time, but as I fretted over the fate of myself and my 'friend', I couldn't help but feel as bored as I did when playing a _regular_ chess game. Perhaps it was for that reason, that no matter how hard I followed Alistair's incessant barking, I saw white chess man after white chess man sliced to ribbons.

"Oh, byte it," snarled Alistair as he began charging and using his new appendages to pummel any black chess pieces he could find.

"Stop it!" snarled Janus, "Or I'll…"

"You'll what?" sneered Alistair, while I actually saw Dark Sonic slap his face with his palm.

"This!" In an instant, Janus pulled the weak White King from the ground and pulled his head off as if he were a doll. I lay witness to it all, but as I did, I thought, so what? That the best he could do? Maybe he's too scared to try and kill _me _because of my reputation? No, he has to pick on such an easy target. Like I almost saw with Bruzzini, it's one less idiot in Otherworld.

Wait, am I actually thinking this about a living thing? I try to bring myself out of the insanity I've found myself embracing by reminding myself it is insanity.

"Now look what you've done, you twit!" said Alistair, slapping me in the face, "If you had just followed orders like I said…"

"ENOUGH BICKERING!" yelled Janus, "If you, dog, are as significant as the residents of this godforsaken land say, then I'm taking you to the Red Queen!" Snatching my pawn, he added, "I'll take this! With a bit of training, this could be a perfect ally."

Both Alistair and I found ourselves drug away from the white chess world, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Dark Sonic hitting his head on a wall repeatedly, and the Queen of Trolls peering behind a post.

It took quite a while, but soon the monochrome palette of the white chess world transitioned into crimson-dominated surroundings, where red knights, bishops and rooks leered at us while cruelly chuckling. At the end of the red village stood a looming castle, resembling a devil's head and seemingly made from various oozing entrails and guts. The stench of brimstone mixed with the omniscient scorching air pounding down on my body was enough to make me nauseous. After being kicked through the front door, we found ourselves in a foyer, constructed from red bricks and plaster, with playing card guards standing still like the guards at Buckingham Palace.

"A fine kettle of fish you've gotten us into now," said Alistair, his eyes narrowing from behind his spectacles.

"Me? Who's the genius who pissed off Janus by not knowing when to keep his mouth shut?"

"If it's any constellation," Dark Sonic moaned, entering the castle of fear as casually as one would enter a video store, "you're both idiots. You're not alone, Ally, I'd kill Courage if I didn't need him."

"Last thing we need right now is you!" I snarled.

"Oh, but I have something useful!" Dark Sonic held out a strangely-shaped gun. "Killing the Queen of Hearts will be a great step towards you, and therefore me, escaping this popsicle stand, so if you are to face the bitch, I'm afraid you're gonna need this."


	12. Back to Reality For A Moment

So _this_ was the most powerful object from that Wonderland?

I can't help but think whoever designed this thing was compensating for something, but wielding it felt…it felt like _nothing _was a threat, I could vanquish all my enemies with a pull of the trigger and all my troubles would be over. I even gave it a test shot; a weird ball thing flew onto the wall and **BOOM. **Rocks and debris fell from the walls.

"Watch where you're shooting, twit!" Alistair cringed, covering his ears.

"Sorry…" I grinned sheepishly.

Before Alistair could say anymore, Dark Sonic broke us up.

"I think you have a Queen to kill…"

I nodded and began walking, noticing that Alistair wasn't following me.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked, tapping a paw impatiently.

Alistair shook his head. "No way! I've got my own problems. I'm not gonna put my arse on the line for your screw ups!"

I rolled my eyes. "Suit yourself."

As I walked off, I head Dark Sonic yell a few choice things that obviously didn't affect Alistair in the slightest. I looked over my shoulder to see him trudging off, leaving Dark to stew in his anger. About time someone put that hedgehog in his place.

After traversing through the evil palace, and fighting off a few more card guards, soon I arrived at the entrance to the Red Queen's lair.

"You're all going to die down here…" Dark Sonic mused, then slinked off. Seems he got over his frustration rather quickly.

Wish I could say the same…

**Who goes there?**

That voice, it sounds like several speaking at once – all of them demonic. It shook the walls more than my test shot did, and my fears that I may not be able to complete this quest returned. I took a deep gulp and roared – answering the voice's question.

**You seek to fight ME? Many have tried, **_**all**_** have failed, even the person I owe my existence to! But fight me if you must, it will provide an amusing diversion!**

The large double doors flew open, revealing a corridor surrounded by thick lava, which served as the illumination. Dangling from the ceiling were rusty hooks on chains, swinging to and fro. Two hooks sported severed heads – a walrus and a carpenter. Figures. I walked down the corridor, under some strange structures resembling a giant ribcage, until I reached another set of double doors, which flung upon like the first set.

_The throne room._

A huge throne, decorated with statues of card symbols, pictures of that Alice crying and more severed heads of various species on spikes. The Queen of Hearts herself was no better to look at. She looked roughly humanoid with tentacles where fingers and legs should be; even her crown was comprised of tentacles, framing her porcelain face.

**A DOG?! A pathetic cur like you against ME?! ****I've defeated the mighty Gryphon and a cute little puppy comes to challenge my authority? **

I raised the Blunderbuss.

**That in the hands of a blockhead ****such as yourself is a disaster waiting to happen.**

Tentacles rose from the ground, knocking me over backwards.

**NOW OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!**

Her face slid off, showing a mannequin blank. She rose to the air through a _pulsating tentacle from her back attached to the wall_.

With a raise of her finger, she sent me flying into a stone wall, the impact setting off the Blunderbuss in her direction. A horrid scream filled my ears, almost like sweet music, before I felt myself drifting up to her, where she slashed me with her sharp fingers, blood staining my pink fur.

She threw me onto the ground again and roared, sending sharp spikes rising from the floor, which I avoided by rolling over. I leapt off the ground and aimed the Blunderbuss right at her face, smirking as I did so.

The deadly ball hit her right between the eyes, to which she howled in agony and fell to the floor, bleeding.

_Well, that was easy_.

The creature crawled up into a foetal position and shrank away into nothingness. The throne exploded, knocking stones in my face.

There was a gigantic red head, with eyes glowing as yellow as hot coals. The thing looked like it crawled from the depths of Hell itself.

Dark Sonic would be proud.

It opened its mouth, I prepared for attack.

Instead, I saw the Scientist Hatter grinning.

He opens his mouth.

_My face._

You should never have come here! This realm is beyond anything your puny mind can sustain! This place was spawned from someone else's insanity, and exposure to it will make you just as mad!

I refused to listen, holding the Blunderbuss tightly to my chest.

You really think you can defeat me? This place is draining your sanity, I can feel it, and so can you!

I did feel light headed, and slightly more insane than usual…

Even if you did defeat me, you wouldn't live long enough to enjoy your triumph! Now return to your puerile delusions of innocence and _BEGONE! _

_NO! _ I've come too far to quit now! I've got to do this, if not for me, for that Alice girl. Perhaps if I destroy this beast, she will be normal again.

Its body rose from the ground, looking like a writing mass of goo with four huge tentacles for hands. Eight more tentacles arched from its back, radiating like fibber-optic lights. I aimed for the skull-like face in its stomach, each shot making it cave in like it was screaming. After enough hits, it sank into the ground.

I was wary, I knew this wasn't over yet.

Sure enough, it sprang back up form the ground, closer this time. She lashed me with her electrified tentacles, sending my collapsing to the floor. I could feel my fur standing on end from the charge.

Shaking off the pain, I continued my assault, and got a flabby tentacle right in my side. It felt warm and sticky, and smelled like blood. I nearly fell off the narrow ledge that hovered over the pools of lava.

This ends now!

--

That night, Rex tried to fight sleep, lest he end up in Otherworld again and face that Hatter, guzzling coffee and reading comic books in an attempt to stay awake. Then, as his eyelids seemed to grow all the more heavier, he thought that if he were to revisit Otherworld, he may stand a chance of gaining straight answers about why he was being bothered rather than stupid psychobabble, and perhaps see what the real deal was about Derek and his dark side. Before long, he collapsed to a heap on the floor, and found himself yet again in a monochrome field, only a bright light shone on him.

"What the? Are you that Mad Hatter again?"

'_No. He was only trying to drive you mad for the sake of madness._'

"Well, I've got news for him: I'm mad enough as is, ok?"

'_True, and that is unacceptable_.'

"So I've been told, but it's the way God made me."

'_You like to delude yourself into thinking that, but I know deep down you resent your madness and your crimes._'

"What are you, a televangelist? I need to be 'purged'? It's not like I'm gay...'

'_I'm not a televangelist. I'm just someone who cares._'

Immediately, Rex felt a shimmer throughout his whole body, like when his shell cracked, only this felt more...refreshing. After the shimmer faded away, he fell on his back and rubbed his face. At that moment, he realised something rather odd. He looked at his arm, and found that the machinery that once made it up had been replaced by flesh and scales like it was before. Lifting up his trouser leg, as he had fallen asleep in full clothing, he saw that the same 'fate' had befell his legs. No machinery, gears or nanobots, normal scales. He was completely organic, a mere mortal.

'_Wouldn't it be grand if the infamous criminal Armadillo Rex were to simply...disappear? That you weren't tied down by jeers and accusations but simply a normal person? What I've done is temporary, it'll be gone when you awake, but if you want it to be permanent..._'

"Oh, come on! What is this, AI? Whatever it is you're doing, I'm _not_ buying it!"

'_Come now..._'

"You're just like that Mad Hatter guy! I'm not letting this place get to me!" Giving a cynical snort at the voice, Rex decided to walk off.

'_Yes, he said that your armour has cracks...but isn't that a good thing?'_

Once again, Rex felt his shell begin to crack, this time faster. In a second, it exploded, as well as his whole skin. Right in front of him were pieces of his own face. While considering what he had turned into made his stomach churn, he was morbidly curious.

With the blink of an eye, he found himself back in his bedroom, still bionic, still him. With a quick look in the mirror, he saw that everything was still intact. Taking a deep breath, he began to ponder what that mysterious voice was talking about. From the sounds of it, it seemed like it was trying to get rid of the monster he had nurtured, which to him was quite the tempting prospect. Cindy had worked to try and get him back to the way he was, and if Otherworld were really the realm of the mind as he had heard, could it be some way to fulfill her, and perhaps his, wishes?

Surely the monster he had once faced in that world could be vanquished, along with his guilt and urges? A task that had once seemed impossible, due to all the nu-metal and infamy, seemed very probable, as well as easy.

Still, he had to wonder about Derek...

Holding a flashlight to his face, Dark Side laughed a ferocious laugh, as his victim looked like he was about to break and leave behind what made him well-known.

**_Soon_**, said the shark, y_**ou'll be normal soon. Then won't the Hatter and Dark Sonic be pissed off? But first...**_

--

"Oh no."

Derek shook with fear as he looked down on where he once had hands and now saw the fins he was born with. And just when he thought he was rid of this place…

This place could be the work of no other but his dark side, or perhaps that strange man in the hat. Derek had found himself slap-bang in the middle of a cobweb-covered room, where spiders with the faces of demented dolls climbed over the ceiling, and skeletons leered from within the shadows. He froze on the spot, trying to ignore the room's many 'wonders'. Did he actually allow himself to fall asleep? It was hard to resist, as sleep, in his opinion, was one of the best things about being human. It was so _refreshing_, but being in this room instantly made him overlook that opinion.

"Daddy, daddy!"

Turning away from a certain grinning skull, Derek saw a small boy and a small girl, both with jet-black hair, run towards him and embraced him in a passionate hug. These two could be no other than…Derek felt tears come to his eyes. Maybe he should put all this Otherworld nonsense behind him and…

Dark Side stared right at him.

"You! I thought I was rid of you!" That guy _lied_!

_**I just want to say a few words, and I'll never bother you again. Come with me. **_Dark Side gestured with his fin and the two sharks drifted into an elegant room with a fireplace and a pair of easy chairs._** Take a seat.**_ Derek did as he was told.

_**I know you hate me, that you despise my guts, and you want me dead. I like to think that's because you envy me. I can live without guilt, regret and any kind of juvenile emotional pain, while you are constantly bothered by it.**_ Derek squirmed in his seat. _**But I digress. I realize I may have been a little too harsh on you, when I should be thanking you and Mother dearest. **_Mother? Oh no._** In my infantry, I only wanted you to kill tiny little fish, of all things! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have broadened my horizons…**_

Derek immediately wanted to leave. Humanity was going to be destroyed and it would be his entire fault.

_**Oh, don't worry; I'm not going to destroy humanity. I could if I wanted to, but I have a more delicious plan in mind. **_Derek sat still. **_Wouldn't it be grand to do whatever you want without conscience biting at your ass?_** No answer.

_**You think I am without feelings, that I cannot care about anyone? Generally, I find LOVE to be totally overrated. However, I am willing to make an exception, Father. I've got a lovely present just for you.**_

Jenny.

It looked nothing like her, but he could still tell the Great White Shark with bloodshot eyes and a nervous tic was none other than dear little Jennifer. Derek slowly drifted up to her, but she bit and snarled at him. "You…"

_**You're welcome to visit her whenever you want.**_

--

As Rex found himself wide awake, pacing across the bedroom in his reeking clothes, he was shook out of his train of thought by Derek darting towards the bathroom. Curious to see what this was about, Rex peered through the door and saw Derek fill the sink full of water. Twitching and hopping on the spot, Derek plunged his head into the water, causing Rex to dash in and pull him out. For a second, Rex thought it was his recent meeting taking effect, but then thought it had probably more to do with wanting to know what this was all about.

Spluttering, Derek tried to give his answer, "He's got Jenny! I've got to get back there!"

"Do you really have to die?"

"I think so...I don't know..."

"You said you died once. How do you know if you die twice you won't go to Hell or something?"

"Maybe...but I've got to get Jenny." He gasped. "What if _she's _dead? How could he do this?" For a minute, Derek pounded the tile walls, then turned away. "That...that...I'll...no, no, he wants me to get angry, so I won't...I don't..." With that, he ran downstairs, as Rex stared.

"And I thought I was messed up…"

Rex caved and followed, and asked more questions about what was going on.

"…And then this glowing guy...I think his name was Tyr, or something, told me about this 'Hatter' and how he took over Otherworld...by...by..."

"Yeah?"

"He got these people, right, and he turned them into monsters, and they beat Tyr's army and then the Hatter took over Otherworld!"

Hearing this couldn't help but make Rex feel uncomfortable. Is that what the Hatter wanted with him? He was already pretty much a monster, as he had thought to himself for years. However, hearing Derek's story, about the Dark Side and how he tried to bring out the killer in this 'Wilt' character, made him feel like he was less alone and that he wasn't the only one with a ferocious dark side. Maybe that's why he hung out with Dark Sonic; that hedgehog made him seem an absolute angel in comparison. Maybe it was a good thing the agents left Derek with him.

"So then, they tried to use me as bait...and they got Gwen...and I was human again...and, and..."

"Woah, woah, slow down, already."

"Sorry. It's just that all this is really confusing, and I don't know how I'm going to stop my dark side!"\

"Erm...maybe you could try just walking away from him like in that Prince of Persia?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, but the faceless person said I would forget him, and now I can't stop thinking about him!" A long sigh escaped Derek's mouth. "Maybe I'll just try to forget him. I mean there's got to be someone out there, stronger and smarter than I am."

"Yeah, pretty damn unrealistic to think some teenager could beat a powerful evil. I always say when there's a crisis, it has nothing to do with me, so I don't let it bother me!"

"Yeah, I guess. I got nowhere to go, can I sleep on your couch?"

"Sure, I could use some company. Cindy's been talking to me less recently...but if you find out more about that Otherworld place, tell me immediately!"


	13. And So It Begins

This was a nightmare. Nothing but a bad dream. It had to be. Too much weird crap had happened already.

Still confined to the body of a floating mutant shark, Jenny flew around what looked to be a basement of some kind. A harsh chill ran through the air, so she clutched herself tightly and bit her lip. Just what the hell was going on _now_?

Shuddering and chattering her teeth all the way, a light immediately shone in the consuming darkness, revealing a figure on an easy chair, which appeared to be fast asleep. She tried her hardest to force herself away but curiosity immediately prevailed, so she crept over to the slumbering figure to get a closer look.

"Grandpa?"

It was him, alright. Probably fell asleep while watching TV. That's how old people are.

Why wasn't he moving, though?

And what was with the…OH MY GOD.

The blood trickling down her arm felt so real, so _alive_, and so did the hot breath on her face.

_**Mother.**_

It was that _thing_ again. That thing with the sharp teeth and the reptilian eyes and the evil grin. He killed Derek…and…

Jenny immediately screamed her head off in frustration and ran to the shark as if to combat him. _**DON'T YOU **__**DARE**__**.**_ With a swipe of his fin, Jenny flew halfway across the room and landed face first on the wooden floor. Dark Side elongated his fins into tentacles to grab her again, this time to _hug_ her. _**There, there…**_

Jenny shuddered with anger. "What the fuck do you want?"

_**Dear Mother…**_

"Why do you keep calling me that?"

_**I must give you my gratitude. Without you, I wouldn't be here, and Otherworld wouldn't be revolutionised.**_

"Otherworld?"

_**Your new home, where I will mould you into an upstanding citizen, as I will our new pet. Then we can have a big, happy family!**_

No response was given. Jenny had ceased to writhe, and now just stared at her captor with bulging eyes.

_**Isn't the prospect just exciting?**_ He gently placed Jenny on the floor. _**Now let me show you to your bedroom. **_

It was just a matter of time…

--

Back in reality, Jonathan, Chris, Gareth, and DM were making their way around the town, trying to find signs of Courage and getting nowhere.  
"It would be pretty strange for Courage to hitch a ride all the way to here just to confide in you." Chris finally admitted, stroking his goatee.

"I'm the only person left he can talk to. I'm sure he wouldn't come back to Kevin's place because of the memories that made him go mad in the first place." Jonathan replied, trying not to give up hope.

As they stood on the corner waiting for the light to change, they happened a glance at a familiar white rabbit sitting in the store across the street.

"Well, there's Card Trick." Gareth spoke up. "Should we go tell him Rex is here?"  
"We probably should. He'll have his hands full with Derek, so he could use the help." Chris answered.

As the light turned green and they began to cross, a strange man walking the opposite direction slammed into them.

"Oh! Excuse me gentlemen!" the man began apologizing over and over, bowing in embarrassment.

"Its okay, no big deal." Jonathan said, backing away.

Gareth observed this man a bit closer. He looked oddly familiar.

"It's just that a lot of things have been happening lately and…AHHH!"

Doubling over in pain, the man clutched his stomach as something began to happen to him. His teeth grew longer and sharper, his hair turned white and grew longer.

Gareth knew it! It was Dr. Jekyll alright! But how would a fictional character exist in reality?

--

The shop keeper stopped regaling Card Trick with his story when he saw the situation outside. He snatched up the cards and left without saying a word, causing Card Trick to give chase, as he wondered what was going on.

As he dashed outside, he saw the former agents tangling with none other than Mr. Hyde. His ears drooped in frustration as he narrowed his eyes, debating rather or not to save his friends.

Realizing what to do, Card Trick cut the rope off of a nearby flagpole with his trusty knife, and tied it into a perfect hangman's noose. A trick he learned as a magician's apprentice. Hoping this would work, he dashed into the street and waved the noose before Hyde's eyes, causing the man to look a bit worried and release Chris, whom he had grabbed earlier. He then dashed off into obscurity.

"What was that about?" Chris asked, dusting himself off.

"You're just lucky I watch a lot of old horror movies, is all." Card Trick replied, tossing the noose away. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Well, I go to college here." Jonathan replied. "Everyone else is here to help me find Courage."

"Yeah, I heard about what happened in Kansas. Such a shame. There was a creepy guy in that store talking to me earlier, and he had some weird glowing cards. One of them had Courage on it! He began telling me a story until he saw the fight you got into and ran off. I chased after him and…"

Card Trick then realized that he left his sandals in the store. He dashed off and returned in mere seconds, now wearing them.

"Do you think that Mr. Hyde's appearance has anything to do with Courage's disappearance?" Gareth asked, glancing around to make sure that the man was gone for good.

"That, or it means we're getting closer…" Jonathan replied. "Didn't Derek say something about this 'Otherworld' place turning imagination into reality? And how his evil half wanted to open a portal into our world so he can take over?"

"Looks like its starting. So we need to act fast." Chris replied.

"What the hell are you all taking about?" Card Trick asked, hands on his hips.

"Nothing…um…Rex is here watching someone for us back at my dorm. He said to tell you he was in town." Jonathan quickly changed the subject.

"Great…" Card Trick rolled his eyes.

--

"Well, that was an amusing diversion!" chuckled the Hatter to himself as he made his way back to his famed tea-party, twirling a cane all the while. He always enjoyed a brief visit to the 'real world', normally just to see how the common folk were doing, and to see if there was anyone worth forcing into insanity. However, fun time was over, and now was the time to review battle strategies and think of an appropriate plan.

"M'lord! M'lord!" The hoarse cries of the Duchess, slithering quickly up to the Hatter.

"Ah, my dear ally! How goes the operations?"

"Dey're goin' fine...well, excep' dat my new friend just died..."

"Never mind her, just make sure you slow down that cur as much as possible!"

"Oh, you. It's always work work work! Recruit this, battle plans dat!"

"These are difficult times! I am in danger of losing my throne!"

"At least if ya lost ya throne, maybe you'd have more free time to dedicate to me..." As she talked, her voice grew into that soft, mellifluous tone she used when recruiting, and she wrapped her tentacles around her master's waist. "Remember all the long evenings we'd spend, walking down the worlds the Creators made..."

"Indeed I remember," said the Hatter, prying off the Duchess' tight tentacles, "but I'm afraid there are more pressing matters at hand."

"Ya always say dat!" moaned the Duchess, reclaiming her normal voice.

"True, I do. Now get back to work!" Observing her crawling away in a huff, the Hatter couldn't help but sigh fondly. He admired her, he really did. Her spirit, her attitude, her methods. The clinging and attention-seeking she played out he even admired, just because he liked to rebuke it. Anything that showed his superiority he loved.

With that Duchess back to work, off he went to work as well. The tea party proved the best place for such things, as the moaning, screaming and incoherent babbling of the insane actually helped him concentrate on whatever it was he had planned for himself. As loud and uncontrollable as the maniacs proved, they never really were a distraction. The hedgehog with the black fur, smug grin and legs propped up on the Dormouse's belly however, would prove a distraction.

March Hare sat nearby, staring uncomfortably at the unexpected guest.

"You again!" Hatter snapped.

"Yes, _me_ again." Dark Sonic smiled.

"I suppose you're here to make more of those immature jokes about my sexuality, are you not?"

"No. That's getting old. Besides, I realized I no longer have to point it out. It's bluntly obvious."

"That's a relief. Well, kindly remove yourself from my seat. I have work to do and events to plan!"

"Why? It's so comfy!" Dark smiled, wiggling his rear into the cushion a bit deeper.

"To cement my rule over this world, of course!" Hatter folded his arms and scowled. "Why else, you prickled cretin?"

The hedgehog shook his head and clicked his tongue. "You really have to learn to share your toys, you know."

The Hatter stood in a moment of silence before answering. "Remember, hedgehog, that I have always seen life as a game, and it is my job to make sure that people play by the rules!"

"Oh, really, Jigsaw?"

"Of course! I make sure that those who deserve to live in Otherworld gain the chance, and utter morons like _you_ stay out!"

"Well, you're not doing a good job, are you?"

March Hare tried to stifle a chuckle.

"You be quiet!" snapped the Hatter to the Hare, freezing the latter in an instant. Turning to the hedgehog again, he answered, "I am so!"

"That's the best retort you can come up with?" Dark Sonic stood and placed his hands on the table. "I gave you too much credit..."

"You can make your pretentious and arrogant arguments all you want, but that will not change the fact that I have the finest mind in all of Otherworld, and what I say goes!" Hatter snapped, turning away from the hedgehog, his arms still folded.

"If you're so smart, why are you so afraid of being overthrown?" Dark asked, cocking his head like a curious puppy.

Another bout of silence before a reply: "I have no reason to fear being overthrown! My army of Cheshire Cats have been handpicked from the best and most able on Earth."

"Then why were half of them killed by imaginary friends of all things?"

"Well, those imaginary friends are going to put in their place, with regards to my toothed associate. While fictional characters may amuse and give a new perspective on what we call life, their ethereal status should never let them rise above the more physical of Otherworld's residents!"

This speech made March Hare clench his clawed fists so tight, he actually could feel blood tricking down his palms.

"Could you repeat that in English? No habla faggotry." Dark Sonic shrugged.

Choosing to ignore the hedgehog, the Hatter continued. "It is truly irritating when these imaginary idiots believe themselves to be on the level, or even above, real people!"

"Excuse me…" March Hare said dryly, leaving the table.

Unaffected by this departure, Hatter continued. "Especially grating is that pair who won't die, those imitations! That Madigan and that scientist! Believing they are at my level? The original is always best, I always say!"

"I believe that too."

"Really?"

"Just not in the way you do. I mean, you are by no means the 'best' of the Hatters I've seen, quite the opposite..."

"Well, you _would_ say that, wouldn't you?"

"Of course. But in your attempts to mess with every hatter you could find, I couldn't help but notice there was one completely obvious one you conveniently ignored.."

"And that is?"

"Oh, just a character from a book by Lewis Carroll. Ever read it? Pretty good."

"What are you getting at?" Hatter quirked a brow.

"Okay, imagine if someone were to read that book and think to himself _'Hey, wouldn't it be neat if this character were an evil faceless demon hell-bent on driving people mad?'_"

"Hmmm?"

"What I mean is, what if you are one of the many imaginary characters you think of as being so low? Just think, you do all these things, all these weird misadventures and mind-boggling just to prove your superiority. Fair enough. But when you try to pretend you're not part of a class you talk of as being low, well..."

"Ha!"

"What?"

"You think I haven't heard _that_ accusation before? From the imaginary friends, Tyr and even that infernal hare? To that, I say, am I not more refined and ingenious than that caricature?"

"No."

"You _would_ say that! Anyway, why should I listen to _you_? You _pretend_ to be all powerful and threatening, but you're nothing but a joke!"

"Look at the pot calling the kettle black!"

"Oh, is that what you think? And you think people are going to take you seriously when you make immature jokes like those about my sexuality, and you find infantile garbage like those 'Tourette's Guy' videos humorous? Yes, you're insane, but not the good kind, so I have your records on file! Not to mention I can read people's minds like a book, so don't act so smug! It'll take more than idiotic slandering to dethrone me!"

"I know. I'll have you know I'm building an army of my own, and they'll be more effective and loyal than your bunch of sadsacks!"

"I certainly hope I never meet the idiots who would wilfully join _your_ side."

"That's the best you can come up with? Well, you're lucky that I have nothing left to say..." A slight hint of relief formed within the Hatter. "Except...nah nah nah nah nah!" Finishing with a raspberry, Dark Sonic left. With that nuisance gone, the Hatter decided to get back to what he had planned, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he wished the Duchess was there with him. Annoying she may be, but nowhere near as annoying as the hedgehog, and the enjoyable kind of annoying.

--

Sticking under the table like a wad of gum, the Shadow carefully listened to whatever scheme the Hatter cooked up. It was what he came to the table to do, although he had considered the unexpected arrival of Dark Sonic something of a bonus.

It had always annoyed him how the Hatter had treated his life as nothing but a game, but the hedgehog seemed to be doing it as well while deriding it, and that amused him to no end.

It reminded him somewhat of young Frankie Foster. Her goal, and her only goal, was to train the previously-overlooked imaginary friends to make them forces to be reckoned with. They wanted respect, and the Shadow was going to give it to them, like he had wanted for decades. Yet it seemed Frankie wasn't interested in such a thing. No, she was more interested in turning her grandmother's house into a ghost train and thinking of what ways she could turn her army into horror movie rejects. She took _too_ much joy in it, so he almost wanted Mac to destroy her.

He shook his head over choosing her, but at least he could accept his mistakes, unlike that egotistical Hatter who thought every move he made was perfect.

What a nuisance the Hatter was. But the hedgehog could prove greater, and damned if he wasn't going to stop him.


	14. Courage and Alistair Sitting In A Tree

No, no this can't be right…

I felt the heat of the lava on my back as I tried to regain myself. The blob of a Red Queen wobbled in place, not lifting a tentacle to attack but seemingly waiting for me to do something. Deciding it would be wrong to disappoint her, I lifted the Blunderbuss up again and aimed at her like a hunter might an elephant. The ball of destruction flew through the air, but the Queen gently lowered herself into the darkness to dodge it. Breathing heavily, and still being able to smell her putrid breath wafting through the air, I waited for her to show her face and retaliate. After a few seconds, I felt a strange sensation at the back of my neck. I at first thought it was my sense of fear, which I had hoped I had conquered, but a quick turn of the neck, and I saw one of the Queen's smaller tentacles. It reminded me of a snake. Before I could do anything, the tentacle crept around my shoulder, and, within milliseconds, snapped the Blunderbuss in two.

"You..."

**What are you going to do now?**

My reply to that question was one that came naturally: I bit her tentacle tightly, and she screamed. I felt a glimmer of satisfaction at her howl, but it disappeared when I found myself being flung through the void, a whisker above the bubbling lava. It already felt like I was being burnt to a crisp.

**Should I kill you now?**

Her grasp brought my face closer to hers, and I saw her misshapen teeth, her two leering other faces and tomato soup skin in more detail than I should have asked for. At that very moment, I wanted her to get it over and done with, just so this stupid quest could actually _end_.

**Or would that be too easy? No, I'm not going to waste my power on a little canine.**

Hearing that, I had a gut instinct she was planning something bad for me anyway. Someone like her wouldn't just let me run free. I still felt I had to stop her; if not, what about that Alice girl? However hard I try though, I can't think of a way to retaliate that won't involve what she has planned for me being intensified. I just stare at her disgusting face, and within seconds, I'm thrown onto one of the floating ledges face first, filling my mouth with dirt and rubble.

Another tentacle launches itself towards my face…

And I awake from my nightmare…

No, no this can't be right…

I'm back in the asylum. I thought I was out of that place….

I was sane….

But here I was, in the dark hallways once again, the rusting sign now in more disarray than it was the last I was here. For some reason, despite all the lights being on, it seemed darker than before. Perhaps it was just my eyes trying to adjust to the harshness of the fluorescents as they bounced off the yellow, dusty walls.

I began walking down the hall, knowing the exit lied at the end, but dreaded every step. My sixth sense was gnawing at the back of my brain, as if something sinister was watching me.

Was it the Hatter? The Shadow? That demonic shark?

No, they're all fantasies in my mind. Not real…

The ringmaster and the troll perhaps?

No, they weren't real either.

At least that's what I kept telling myself….

I continued my painfully slow walk down the hallway, feeling that even though I can see everything before me that something was waiting. Hiding in plain sight. I got further, and felt something brush my face.

Ghostly fingers?

No, just cobwebs. No…wait…spider webs.

I never cared much for spiders. But after all I've been through it's a mundane fear now. Besides, no spider was ever worse than those that Katz had.

Boy was I horribly wrong…

I heard ticking. The sound of something tapping against the wall, just off to my left. It dwelled on the edge of my hearing, but I could tell it was coming closer. Obviously the owner of the web I had just intruded upon so carelessly. But spiders weren't privy to apologies, so I decided to try and leave.

The web held me. Held me back as if someone twice as big as me was gripping my shoulders. I could feel the itchy silk on my arms and legs, painfully pulling the attached fur.

That's when I saw the spider, and froze in terror.

It was smiling at me! The damn thing was smiling at me with a humanoid face!!!

No it wasn't its face. The China Doll face was only it's….body? Its legs swirled in tight spirals, like they had no joints to bend, but were perfectly capable of carrying the thing across the wall and onto the web it called home.

And it was crawling towards me!

In a split second, I felt the sharp pain in my arm. The fire rushing through my veins.

My head began to hurt, my already somewhat monochrome vision becoming clouded by whatever venom that thing had injected into me. The blur effect of the poison almost made it seem like the China Doll face was laughing at me. Laughing at my misery…

My vision swirled as I realized that I was now free of the webbing, almost as if it was never there to begin with. I stumbled my way to the exit only to find my vision had intentions of going the opposite direction, causing me to stumble a few times before I finally got my bearings, just enough to vomit from the sudden combination of poison and dizziness. I finally reached the exit only to pass out from the exhaustion from the extra effort to just move my legs in the right direction. My chest felt on fire and my vision was now giving away to the darkness creeping in from the edges. Then black….

I snapped awake, unaware of how much time had passed, only to find that I wasn't in the asylum anymore, but a bed. And not my bed either. I frantically looked around to get an idea of my surroundings, only to see the one and only Hatter Madigan sitting at my bedside.

"Ah, you're awake! That's a good sign. It took some effort, but that Nightmare Spider venom should be completely out of your system."

I mustered up a thanks of sorts before falling back down in bed, feeling like I hadn't slept for days. I rolled my head to the side to face him.

"How long have I been out?" I asked wearily.

"A few hours, and you were running a fever too. You're lucky I found you when I did."

"How did you get here?"

"I was ambushed by a blue creature with three eyes, and some witch with an affinity for pepper. I managed to kill the latter, but the former had some kind of dark imagination that brought the inanimate to life. She managed to beat me and toss me here." Madigan seemed disappointed in his defeat.

"You get some rest, I'll be nearby trying to find a way out of this place." And with that, Madigan left me alone. I wished he hadn't, though. Not because I was worried of what lurked in the shadows of this place, but because of who was sharing the room with me…

I scowled fiercely when I caught a glimpse of the glowing blue dog who was Alistair leaning on a nearby wall watching me intently.

Why was it when I needed him most he'd run off and yet he'd return just in time to be of no use to me?

"Where the hell have you been?" I asked angrily, forcing myself up off the worn mattress. "I could have used some help back there!"

Alistair blinked completely unaffected by my anger. He pushed himself off the wall and shrugged.

"I decided to come back. Not for your benefit of course. I'm just here because…I can't get anywhere without....without....your"

He halted suddenly then shook his glowing head angrily.

"What's your problem?" Folding my arms, I felt a pang of concern. The new body was one thing, but I admit Computer was acting strangely ever since I met him here.

Before all of this while still back in the attic, it seemed the things he said were just jokes or he said them just to pull my leg or keep me around longer.

Yet, now I could feel he was truly angry with me. That he truly hated me. I can't blame him though. It's my fault he's in this nightmare now too! Where he got the dog body and his new disobedience though, I could not guess .

His eye twitched again just like during the chess game. He stormed up to me and began poking me in the chest to emphasize every word.

"I don't need you." He said quietly. "But I will follow until we're in the clear."

I rolled my eyes. So he's just going to run off again as soon as he can ditch me?

"Whatever!"

I began walking again and Alistair followed quietly.

Apparently Alistair cannot stand things being quiet, and he just had to stir things up again.

"What's happened to you twit? I knew you'd go funny once Muriel died, but nothing like this. What happened to the dog who'd run away screaming at the smallest thing? Did you honestly expect Muriel to live forever?" His accusing tone was starting to piss me off.

I spat right on his face.

"You stupid twit! You just..." I cut him off as I spun around and gripped his wrist tightly. He pulled my last string. I pulled him forward until we were almost nose to nose. How badly I wanted to break his arm....

I exploded completely.

"'Oh you're a _twit_!' 'Oh I'm so better than you so I'm gonna call you a twit blah blah blah.' Just shut up! Just shut your fat face and leave me alone!"

I would have felt empowered by finally taking down the one who'd always been higher then me but as I stared into those glowing eyes I found there was nothing but a blank indifference to my change in behavior. He didn't care! Any satisfaction I could have gotten out of instilling some fear into Alistair was snuffed out.

Then he spoke smoothly and cynically. "Do you really think you're the only one going through anything right now?" he asked slowly, quirking a brow. "You're the one who's sadly mistaken! After all it's your fault I'm stuck in this hell. You....all your good at is making everyone's life miserable! Don't even get me started on how nice Muriel's last years of life could have been if _you_ hadn't shown up and brought all your supernatural tendencies with you!" He sneered but I was going to scrub it right off that glowing face.

I slammed him into the wall breathing heavily. I clasped a paw around his neck with every intention of snapping it.

"You don't know anything!" I yelled. Just once! Just once I'd like to see even an inch of fear on his stupid sarcastic face.

Yet he stood there sneering like this was nothing! I was on the verge of chocking him to death and he only laughed. He laughed and laughed until I loosened my grip on his glowing neck.

"Twit? Do you really think death would be anything more then a blessing now? The only curse would be to keep living in this madness! Go ahead then! Kill me! I dare you!" And he broke down laughing again.

"Shut up!" I yelled, slamming him into the wall again.

"Oh, hush up you twit!" He said, waving a paw dismissively. "Why should I care about you? Why should I help you? And..."

He suddenly brought up a paw onto my own which was pinning him down. I felt a stinging pain as I realized those metal claws he had used against Janus were suddenly digging into me. I let out a yelp at the unexpected pain, and he grinned as he pushed them deeper, savoring that he once again had the upper hand. I was now the one pinned down.

"Don't think for a second I can't defend myself...." He chuckled darkly.

"Smart ass..." I growled though I was personally happy he snapped me out of it or else I would have no doubt done something horrible to him. He deserved it though....how dare he talk about Muriel like that....

Muriel....

I bit my lip as his claws dug deeper into my skin. "I think we need to get some things straight twit." His eyes narrowed and once again that pure hatred for me was beginning to show. I could see the rage behind his false calm eyes. His claws dug ever deeper into my arm.

"You forgot about me." He said in his calm accusing tone. "When the farm was destroyed! You never thought about me once! You were going to leave me there to rot for all eternity! I never exist until you need me, then you remember me and come running like the coward you are! Oh, how many lonely days have I sat up in that attic because you never gave a second thought about your computer until you needed it! Now you would have left me in that pile of rubble! Of course until you decided you wanted help in this damned hell and caused _me_ to appear here! You never cared _once_ about me twit! Some thanks _I_ get for saving your ass so many times...."

"Maybe I would have spent some more time with you if you weren't such a jackass! Always putting me down like I've got no brain! You only brought this onto yourself!" I yelled. "And no, I could have cared less about you when the farm was destroyed and I would have never thought about you again if I hadn't ended up here!"

I think I caught a flash of red for a moment in those azure eyes....

"Oh yes, you were too busy fucking your girlfriend weren't you!"

I brought my other paw that wasn't caught in his claws up to punch him but he easily caught it with his other clawed hand. Now he was going to insult Sandy as well!

"You wanna know what happened to _me_ because of _you _twit?" He said in a mocking cold tone. "_I_ woke up here in a mock version of the farm in _this_ body. I was caught by your new friend, the ruler of this Otherworld."

I was surprised to see Alistair give an involuntary shutter. "You want to know why? Because _I'm_ the only person in this whole Otherworld who's _crippled_! Everything I imagine goes insane automatically once it is born, and it warps into a corrupt version of itself _regardless_ if I follow the correct rules! He forced me to keep bringing those…_abominations_ into existence! If I refused the punishments were...severe....and once I had nothing left to imagine, I was thrown out to die like a piece of _worthless trash_! _That's _why I'm here, and I'm going to _find_ those people I made and put them out of their _misery_. It's the least I can do. But I'll be damned if I ever ask _YOU_ for help!"

There was a long silence as we stared each other down angrily, then we were greeted by Dark Sonic who had been watching our little feud.

"Yes, yes. You don't want Hanna to suffer anymore do you?"

"Shut it you!"

Hanna? I couldn't help but wonder....

Dark Sonic gave a bored look and mocked Alistair, "Your mother was a toaster...."

Alistair surprisingly ignored that insult. Somewhat confused, he said, "But the Hatter _did _say something odd while I was his '_guest_'. He said something about the reason why everything I imagine goes bad."

He placed a paw to his mouth and tapped his foot trying to think something up. Computer without any information was never a good sign.... "He said I'm not _supposed_ to have an imagination yet I _do....._"

"You're that big of an idiot? I take it all back!" Dark commented. "Your mother was an easy bake oven!"

Alistair glared at the hedgehog but continued. "I may be a machine and all, but that doesn't mean I can't have an imagination."

Dark sighed. "Either you are as dumb as you look or you are pretending to play stupid. You know the truth deep down but you refuse to believe it. If you're as smart as your supposed to be you'd have figured it out by now." He grinned, clearly enjoying this. "Imaginings can't have imagination...yet you do....a flawed one yes but you do have one. You're a computer, so I'll put it in terms you can understand. When you make a copy of something, it's not as good as the original. When you make a copy of the copy, it gets worse and worse every time."

What the? Alistair couldn't be something spawned from Otherworld because he'd been in my attic for as long as I could remember. Dark Sonic had honestly lost me....

Alistair gave him such a look I thought he'd actually try to strike out at Dark Sonic. Instead he calmed himself and said, "I really don't get what you're saying. I'm as real as anyone else from his world." He pointed at me.

"Whatever you say then..." The hedgehog replied losing interest in this and began walking away.

"Shut it you damn…Shadow wannabe!" Alistair replied.

Dark spun on his heels. "WHAT! Shadow ripped off ME dumb ass!

And so any intelligent conversation quickly melted into constant bickering. I nearly left the two to argue but they both followed as soon as I began walking. Even if they didn't stop....

I resisted the urge to pound my head into a wall as I heard that bickering from afar, but that urge was easily done away with quickly. My irritance vanished to make way for trepidation as I heard odd grunting and pounding come down the hall. The old Courage would have ran away screaming, but I hid in the shadows, waiting to confront whatever it was. What approached me looked like, surprise surprise. Tweedle Dee or Dum, only much fatter and with a hunchback. Reminding me of a neantherthal, he scratched his head, and stumbled towards me.

"Doggy," was all he said.

In an attempt to defend myself, I took on a karate pose, only for him to take out a rattle from his stomach, and clobber me silly with it. Just as he was ready to do, well I don't want to know, Alistair dived in and punched the Tweedle repeatedly, until the fat thug ran away crying for his mommy.

"Hey, thanks!"

"I didn't do it for you, I did it to show the freaks of this world who they are dealing with. Now, we have work to do."


	15. Wonder Sliders

"Oh, Byleth," said the Hatter, really speaking to himself, "I almost pity you. I truly do."

He sat, not at his usual tea-table, but at a desk – a writing desk – in a room that was _somewhere_ in Otherworld.

Where or what that somewhere was, no-one knew except him. The desk the Hatter affectionately called his 'musing desk', where he could go if he needed to think uninterrupted. His thoughts mainly concerned how great he was; a stack of Bibles and Jack T Chick comics lay in the corner to give him someone to compare himself to.

"I applaud you for trying to make something of yourself after being denied Heaven and Hell," he continued, observing a photo of Byleth, who Courage had encountered on an earlier adventure, "but you could have aimed higher. It wouldn't have hurt. The 'in-between' is so _dull_ and Stromwell was just a nuisance. I was in the same position as you, and like you, as they say, made lemonade out of life's lemons. I, however, did more than that and more than you managed to accomplish. Although with a brain of your size, I shouldn't have expected much from you."

His gloved hand reached for a drawer, pulling out more photos, showing various things.

A rather handsome man in a business suit, an attractive woman in a red dress, a seven-headed dragon, and a small man in a red jumpsuit with a trident.

All one in the same.

"_Master_," He punctuated that word with a giggle. "To think your most loyal followers don't believe you exist! Quite a hollow victory if I do say so!"

Another burst of laughter. "I remember the glee on your face when you heard of this world's possibilities! People would sell their soul to get in! They would indulge in 'pleasures of the flesh', you said! You should have been _ecstatic_ with my plans, but like your enemy only notes _good_ deeds when done in his name, you merely disapproved because it was _not_ to spite him! Because I had an idea that would actually – oh dear – _improve_ their lives! How petty… I daresay you are as much a caricature as these _comics _portray you as!"

A sudden idea popped into his head, one that had popped before, but had tried to ignore.

"Or perhaps _I_ am somehow doing your will…no. I am _not_ like you, _I_ have reason. I'm giving people what they _want_ because I care, not to see them burn forever…"

He laughed again. "Both of you! Both petty _idiots_! How _desperate_ must you be for worship if you have to resort to _scare_ _tactics_? To have your people constantly preach about _fire_! To have that…disgusting blob as a representative of your son's birthday!"

Slumping down on his easy chair, he took a deep breath.

"I must say, I must confess my superiority to you _both_. _My_ subjects acknowledge and adore me, truly _appreciating_ me for what I am and not because of primitive fears! And I am about to usher in a new era, which both of you could _never_ achieve! Oh, Byleth, if only you had accepted my invitation…"

--

So there I was, with Alistair and Madigan following me, as I trekked through the asylum. I could hear the distant hissing of machines and blowing steam. Feeling the heat off the walls confirmed that we were getting close to something.

As we walked past another row of cells, a small child, almost naked and with some metal device bolted to his head, walked in front of us.

"Are you lost?" I asked.

"Don't bother it, twit! You don't know where it's been!" Alistair warned.

"give_cards .tik" was all the child replied.

"What?" I asked, quirking a brow.

"god, give, notarget, health!" he began to chant. Other children in the same condition as him began chanting along as they all started doing a hopping dance.

"My word…" Madigan muttered. "My vile doppelganger is worse than I imagined."

Quickly picking up the pace, as there was nothing we could do for them now, we soon found the exit that I tried to reach earlier. The hissing of the steam powered machines got louder, and we were overwhelmed with the horrid smell of blood and rotting flesh, made worse by the heat.

The doors burst open.

It wasn't the Scientist Hatter or Alice or the Faceless Hatter. It was a camel's head attached to a thick metal wire. The camel stared at me with bloodshot eyes as he gestured me inside.

"The Hatter's not here."

I entered the room and saw the metal wire was a neck, attached to a camel's body that would look perfectly normal if the hind legs weren't mechanical as well. Everything from the waist down was mechanical, and a steam powered motor rested where the stomach should be.

It made my stomach churn.

"Oh, yeah, my name's Bob and over there is my girlfriend Abby." He gestured with his eyes to behind me.

I turned around, and sitting there on a metal table was a female rat, with her torso replaced by a guitar, her arms and legs nailed on. What really freaked me out was the fact that she could still move her arms, and she was playing the guitar that acted as her body, while singing:

'_We've been turned into this,_

_All is not well,_

_There's creatures and demons,_

_From the pits of…'_

"As if we needed any more proof this world was beyond help," moaned Alistair, much to my annoyance.

Wait…Gareth's sketches…

There were sketches of a camel and a rat that looked _just_ like them…with Bruzzini eyeing over them…

"Wait," I blurt out, interrupting Abby's song, "that ringmaster…Bruzzini, was it…he's _here_?"

"No, _he's_ not here…" replied Bob sounding somewhat thankful, "It was that one-eyed alligator of his that gave us over to this creep!"

_Her_?

"Um, yeah, could you tell me _where_ that creep is?"

'_Please stop this quest,_

_It doesn't matter,_

_Beware the troll__ queen,_

_And that twisted Mad Hatter!'_

Alistair grunted. "We didn't ask for a song, you know."

"He had just finished torturing us, when he went through that pudd…"

All of a sudden, Bob's mechanical legs took on a life of their own as they began to dance to imaginary music (it couldn't possibly be the rat's songs) and left the poor camel screaming and yelling to make it stop.

"Let's go…" Madigan said bitterly. "There's nothing we can do for them now."

I nodded, still entranced by the camel's suffering. I finally turned and followed the others into the next room. This one smelled like a zoo of sorts, as I could smell the cage linings and other things…

"You there, young dog!" a dignified voice called to me. He didn't sound at all threatening, but my perception changed when I laid eyes on him.

"Well, I'll be…a Gryphon." Alistair commented.

I looked at the beast, and instead of fear, I felt respect. It was a massive lion with the head, and wings of an eagle. Its front paws were eagle talons.

"Yes. I've been a prisoner here longer than I care to admit. I was free, but the Jabberwock defeated me and I've been confined back here. If it weren't for my wounds, I would've escaped long ago."

"Jabberwock?" Madigan asked. "You have one in this Wonderland as well?"

"Yes, though not like any other. Fortunately, he disappeared and hasn't returned since." The Gryphon stopped and eyed Madigan. "You're from that Wondertropolis, aren't you?"

"Indeed. How do you know of my fair city?" Madigan asked.

"I've heard the Hatter talking about it and how he despises you. I am well versed in the various other Wonderlands that exist, as well as why you are all here." He paused for a minute then began to talk again. "The Queen of Hearts."

"What about her?"

"She destroyed this world…when she got bored with it, then she went and rebuilt it…just to torment us again. I'll have her…but until I heal I will be nothing but a burden to you. Go on without me. Once I recover, I will muster the forces that you're courage has already won. You won't fight alone."

"Thank you for your assistance, noble creature." Madigan bowed formally, removing his hat.

"I know where the Hatter is currently. In a room beyond the maze of mirrors…" He gestured towards a door that resembled a funhouse mirror. "I'd suggest you go

there." We did as he suggested, dashing through the mirror door and straight into the maze. I couldn't help but be reminded of a funhouse, which in turn reminded me of all those Insane Clown Posse songs Dark liked to quote. Just standing in this room made my stomach turn. Nonetheless, we plowed on, and took many twists and turns, all leading us back to the door we entered.

"Some navigator you are," snorted Alistair.

"Um, in case you can't tell, this is some fucked-up weirdo place! It's not my fault we're lost!"

Madigan gave us both the grumpy grimace anti-heroes are known for, which shut us both up. "I have a theory," he said, as he neared the entrance door. After opening it, we saw a completely different room from the one we met the camel, rat and gryphon. I was so used to this kind of thing I didn't say anything.

One reason we could tell this wasn't the same room was the White Rabbit, chained to a wall, his pocket watch dangling from his waistcoat. Madigan could only growl.

"Don't worry about me," he said, "but take my pocket watch. It may come in handy, and I think you'll find more use for it than I."

In seconds, I yanked the watch from his waistcoat, and held it in my paw. It didn't look any different from a normal pocket watch…OK, it had thirteen numerals and bones for hands, so I felt this had to be special somehow.

Sure enough, I was right. I pressed a button, and everything froze. I pressed another and everything went back to normal. Wasn't there something like this in the Twilight Zone? Well, at least I have something halfway useful.

--

The tall man in the foot-long hat and strait-jacket stared at one of his favorite clocks and gave a sigh. Realizing he had just spent two hours doing nothing, he thought he should turn back time two hours just so he could do something with them. After years of failed attempts and backbreaking labor, time was his slave and he could do whatever he wanted with it. However, even after indulging in the fruits of his endeavors, he was sure that it was still not enough. He needed more to control, more to perfect.

Heavy footsteps in a nearby hallway alerted him to the presence of his ogre-like henchman, Tweedle Dee, who, as usual, was walking around aimlessly with an empty head. "You there!"

"Yeah, boss?"

"Have we been sent any more...subjects?"

"Why, uh, yes! Thanks for reminding me!"

A glimmer of hope ignited within the scientist's mechanical interior. "Who are they?"

"Duuuh..." What seemed to be hours of silence followed.

"Well?"

"Well, there was that...er...Millinery guy..."

"_Him_?!" Slamming his fists on the table, the scientist freaked out his henchman greatly. This outrage was only a mask for his excitement growing, however. He knew there was something _special_ about this Madigan character due to his refusal to die and this weird connection he felt.

"Oh! And there was a dog! A pink one!"

The savior of all worlds? He who stopped Oblivion? Right here in his asylum for him to play with?

This was his lucky day!

The excitement had become too much for him to handle at that point, so he grabbed Tweedle Dee and began waltzing with him around the laboratory. The dance ended with a cackle and the triumphant raising of hands into the air, followed by him darting towards the nearest clock and changing the time to 6 o'clock.

"Time to check up on my experiments!"

--

**"_You two shouldn't be wasting any more time! Come closer!_"**

Madigan, Alistair and I heard the Scientist Hatter's voice, which sounded like he was on helium, echoing across the air as we made our way down the path to his personal sanctum. It was a long and winding path, floating in a purple abyss, including such sights as huge roman numerals and giant cups of tea –

no – _blood. _

Madigan seemed to stride down the path more quickly then I or Alistair did, which was to be understood, considering how strongly he felt about his identity. Wasn't he told, though, that this counterpart of his _can't_ be killed? That they were _connected_, and that if the Scientist Hatter was killed, he'd just re-appear in another Wonderland?

And Wogglebug said more and more Wonderlands were appearing…

I then had a vision of Madigan and I, surrounded by _hundreds_ of clones of the Scientist Hatter, then the Faceless Hatter. It was almost like a psychotic video game…

"Stop staring into space, you twit!" said Alistair, slapping me. I guess I needed that.

The walk along the chessboard path was surprisingly uneventful and then the path forked, leading to two doors, both floating in midair.

**"_I'm impressed! You've come a long way_,"** came the Scientist's voice again, emanating from both doors this time, **"_I'm behind one of these doors. Choose one._"**

I fiddled with the Deadtime Watch in my paw, the gift form that anorexic white rabbit. I could just stop time for a moment, check both doors, without the Scie…

**"_And don't even _****think_ of using that watch! I am the _****master_ of time, I won't be affected! Besides, the doors will be frozen in time as well and you can't open them!_"**

He's _bluffing_…he's obviously bluffing…

Madigan sighed. "I'll take the left, you take the right."

"But…"

"_Go_."

"What about Alistair?"

"I'm going with you. Without me, you're toast!"

We went our ways, and as we did, the path we were on instantly crumbled to dust and fell into the abyss, leaving us to run for our lives to the doors, which, in true Scooby Doo haunted house fashion, opened by themselves. As I ran through the door, I tripped and landed on my face; the Deadtime Watch slipped from my paw and shattered on the floor. I couldn't help but think of the Twilight Zone.

_But__, what the heck, there'll be more _**challenge**_this way! _

That's not me.  
That's _not_ how I think!  
I _hate_ challenge!

I just want to get this over and _done _with as soon as possible, so I can escape with my _sanity_, and the world can escape unharmed.

I scraped up the pieces of the broken watch in some dire hope that it can be repaired, and made my way down the corridor to search for that Scientist Hatter. As Alistair and I walked down the damp hallway, I could hear the heavy sound of gears and the light 'tick, tock' sound of several clocks. The smells of rotting flesh and meat danced around my nose in an most unwelcome manner, and there was a strange breeze that felt like ghosts were drifting through my body.

Another door lay before me. I hesitated before opening it, sure that the Scientist Hatter would leap out and shoot me in the face. Or this world's Alice. Or the Faceless Hatter…

Stupidly, I asked, "Are you there?"

"Look at this!" cried out Alistair, motioning towards a puddle behind a machine of some kind.

That camel mentioned – or was about to mention – a puddle. Madigan had said something about puddles where there should be none…

I didn't step in instantly though. Who knows what would happen? Would the Scientist Hatter be waiting for me on the other side with his gun right to my face?

And I couldn't just leave that poor camel and his friend here, where they'd probably just be tortured further by Alice or those two oafs.

I couldn't do anything for them though.

They'd just have to grin and bear it, I guess.

"What are you waiting for? The end of time?" Alistair snapped.

I stared at the puddle again. 'You go first." I hesitated.

"I don't do water, twit!" Alistair snorted.

Sighing, I stepped in and I instantly felt like I had been flushed down the toilet. Before my eyes, crystal…things swirled and cascaded around me, making me feel so very dizzy. It turned out to be over sooner than I thought though, and as I burst free, without Alistair anywhere to be found, the Faceless Hatter stood right before me.

Wait, no, he didn't. This Hatter wore a similar grey suit, but was obviously a human with blonde hair, standing next to a rather human-looking March Hare.

"Hey there, little guy!" said this Hatter, probably the nicest one I've met so far, "It's always great to have some visitors. It's just too bad the place has just been trashed…"

I turned around and saw the – ok, a – _famous_ tea-table, broken in two, teacups and teapots strewn everywhere. One teapot opened and out popped a finger-puppet dormouse.

"Some people could do with learning some manners," said the dormouse, which instantly went back into the teapot.

"Well, look on the bright side, Hatter," said the March Hare, "It was less crockery than we broke yesterday."

"Wait, was the guy who did this was a fellow Hatter? A creepy thin one with a gear sticking out of his back and a strait-jacket?"

"Well, he did have a gear and a strait-jacket," said the blonde Hatter, "but he didn't introduce himself, just went around shooting everything in sight."

Sounds about right. "So where is h…"

An African-American version of the Queen of Hearts, followed by a White Rabbit on roller-skates, march through this Hatter's front gate, the Queen with a typical annoyed look on her face.

"Hatter!" she yells, "Do you have anything to do with the intruder who's ruining my property?"

"Your Majesty, please," stutters the rabbit, "I don't think he does…"

"Something about him reminds me of you!"

I burst through the gate, and ran into a forest area, searching for the Queen's palace, even though I had never been to this place before and didn't know the first thing about its layout. I will admit, though, that it was very beautiful. A babbling brook gushed under a little wooden bridge, the sun shone brightly in a cloudless sky, and pink flowers grew in great quantities in bushes. It reminded me of when I went camping with Muriel…

"I'm glad you like this place, purrr."

Another Cheshire Cat arrived, this one resembling a Muppet, with blue and pink fur. He was later joined by the more familiar tattooed Cat.

"This place certainly is idyllic, but obviously won't be for long, as is the way of the Otherworld."

"Yeah, we get it, you're mysterious and wise, now tell me where the palace is so I can fight your Hatter."

The Muppet cat laughed. "You know, maybe you should chill out once in a while, _smile_."

He waved his paw, and instantly, my face twisted into a smile. Ugh. I've had _enough_ of smiles. They're _supposed_ to bring happiness and cheer, but every smile I've seen in Otherworld just crept me out. For once, I actually wished for Alistair's presence.

"Oh, ha, ha. Now could you tell me where the Scientist Hatter is?"

"There's no need," came the reply of the skinny Cheshire Cat. They both faded away, making way for the Scientist Hatter to make his triumphant entrance, joined by two of those robots of his.

"Very good, dog, I didn't think you'd make it!" A robot whirred towards me with its head outstretched, using it as some kind of battering ram. I rolled out of the way to the Scientist Hatter's feet, and he kicked me like a soccer ball. I landed face first and I tasted dirt on my tongue. Just then, this world's Queen, Rabbit, Hatter and Hare all march towards the Scientist Hatter, who glared at them.

"We do not appreciate violence in my kingdom," said the Queen, "We must ask you to get out immediately."

Music started to play out of nowhere, and the four friends danced around the Scientist Hatter.

'_You've been very bad,_

_You're also very mad,_

_So we must ask you,_

_To leave!_

_Your robots, we must confess,_

_Are making an awful mess,_

_So we must force you,_

_To leave!'_

The Scientist Hatter obviously found the music as annoying as I did, so he lifted up the end of his cane and pressed a button.

_**The forest **__**EXPLODED.**_

The force of the explosion knocked me over backwards, right into another puddle…

--

Observing the castle of entrails from a short distance, the Queen of Trolls took out her spell book as Bruzzini looked over her shoulder.

"It's really too bad this magick has limitations," she sighed, "that I can't just wipe out this Queen's army with a wave of my claw."

"So whatcha gonna do? Turn them into frogs?"

"_One_ is enough. I am merely going to use this spell to temporarily freeze the guards, then challenge her myself."

"Um…you're really sure you'll win?"

"You doubt me?"

"Well, I was talking to a chess guy. He says he's seen the Red Queen and she's a big huge honking blob! And you're all scrawny!"

The Queen of Trolls patted her handbag. "I have a secret weapon."


	16. Divided They Fall

Hatter Madigan didn't experience the same problems with puddles Courage had, having strong experience with them for thirteen years.

What he _wasn't_ prepared for was what lay _beyond_ the water.

Madigan dove through the puddle expecting a Wonderland, but instead, ended up in a derelict house, much like plenty of the buildings he had seen on Earth in search of Alyss. He almost thought the puddle had led him to Earth when he saw a White Rabbit on a staircase.

The Rabbit this time was a living doll, which paused a minute on the staircase to open its stomach, which caused sawdust to pour out everywhere.

He pulled out a pocket watch and, after licking off excess sawdust that had got itself stuck on the thing, looked at it and said "Oh dear, how late it's getting!" in a young girl's voice, not unlike Alyss' when she was seven.  
"Said the White Rabbit," followed, in the same voice, although not from the rabbit.

Madigan took one step, and the White Rabbit turned around, gnashing at the Millinery man with its rodent-like teeth. It ran up the stairs and behind a door. Madigan ambled up the staircase and burst open the door, in which he saw large worms burrowing through the wooden floor.

No, they _weren't_ worms.

_They were socks._

Living socks nibbling their way through the woodwork, without rhyme or reason as to why they were doing it. One sock, however, sat upon a table, with some sort of authority over the other socks. Just as Madigan noticed it, it dove into the table's drawer, pulling out a set of glass eyes and teeth for itself. Madigan closed the door behind himself, deciding it would be better not to ask any questions here. He just focussed on searching for another puddle.

He swore he heard the clicking and rattling of this world's White Rabbit behind another door, and, perhaps in dire hope it would lead him to another puddle or that loathsome copy of his, opened the door after it. The clicking and whirring actually turned out to be two puppets – one of a bearded man in a bowler, another of a brown furry lump. They had a tea table….

"**NO ROOM, NO ROOM!**"  
"Cried the Mad Hatter, and the March Hare."

Madigan entered out of pure curiosity, noticing the puppet Hatter placing several different hats on his head, as well as the fact that rusty clocks were hanging from his wooden chest.

"Your hair wants cutting."  
"Said the Mad Hatter."

"Excuse me…"

"Don't speak unless you're spoken to."  
"Said the Mad Hatter."

"But…"

"I want a clean cup, everybody move!"  
"Said the Mad Hatter."

The puppet Hatter was able to change spaces 'normally' but his furry lump – the March Hare? – moved about on a set of wheels. As Madigan moved about the table, he swore he saw another puddle where there should be none…

He went in, but not of his own accord.

--

Alistair rubbed his back as he exited the puddle, looking around briefly for the 'twit' he was supposed to protect.

"Well, this is just wonderful, isn't it?" Alistair told himself, as he could only imagine what scrapes Courage could be getting into that very minute. With another quick look for the pink dog just to make sure, Alistair decided to take a closer look at the world he had landed in. This one was a round room adorned in a black and white checker pattern. There was the typical tea table there, adorned with various food items. But there was a woman lying on it.

This Mad Hatter leaned over the woman and began to slice her like a cake. All the while, a band of women dressed in the same pattern of the room were playing various string instruments with flamingos in place of bows.

_Don't come around here no more  
Don't come around here no more_

Alistair took a good look at the woman's face.

"Hannah?!"

--

Madigan found himself in a place he wanted to forget.

A large grey wasteland, with creaking, naked trees and a sky shrouded by thick, grey clouds. Another Wonderland that sought to drive him insane.

He was its _king_.

Two fat boys with flags on their heads.  
A dodo dressed as a sea captain.  
A lizard chimney-sweeper.  
Hundreds of living playing cards.

Each of them had something in common. All of them had pale, murky eyes, lacking the silly joy they once had, and they all hailed Madigan like he was an idol. The flag-bearing boys even stroked him and licked him.

He was their saviour. He was their hero.

Madigan shut his eyes tightly. No, he wasn't meant to be _afraid_, he was a great Millinery man, the star pupil of his class. He feared nothing, he _felt_ nothing.

The creatures of this world retreated when they saw the fire.

Hatter Madigan, still trying to regain his former confidence, ran to the scene of the fire with his wrist-blades outstretched, but the fire came to him instead. He heard harsh galloping as he approached the fire, a sound he had encountered before on his search for Alyss, but not from any horse like _this_.

A decomposing head of a dead horse, its eyes and mouth still twitching, had been stuck upon the 'neck' of a wooden framework meant to resemble a horse, complete with a twig for a tail. The flesh of the horse had also been wrapped around the framework like a coat, and a stomach had been nailed to the torso. The rider was even worse; an emaciated human torso with wooden arms and legs, clothed in rags.

Its head was a flaming Jack O Lantern.

The pumpkin-headed rider galloped towards Madigan on its abomination of a steed, trying to grab Madigan with one of its wooden arms. Madigan took off his top hat and flung it, watching as it unfolded into blades and sliced off the pumpkin head, which fell to the ground and smashed into pieces. The Millinery man was about to retrieve his hat when the makeshift horse ran into him and knocked him over backwards. Madigan rolled away from the horse and its headless rider to notice the Jack O Lantern piecing itself back together and returning to its former glory, laughing insanely.

"That's enough, Jack."

Jack? Madigan knew nothing of this creature, this horrible re-imagining of a citizen of the land of Oz.

Madigan made his way off the ground when he was whacked in the back of the head. He almost fell to the ground again, but instead, was throttled by none other than the Troll Queen.

She reminded him so much of Redd, Genevieve's hag sister…the fangs, the dress, who she claimed to be…but Redd at least resembled a human…

"I don't like what you're putting into that dog's head," she said as she threw Madigan away, when Jack placed him in chains and took his weaponry. The Queen watched this without a single iota of emotion on her face.

"You're coming with me…"

--

I once again landed on my face, but this time, I heard the crunching of sand under my teeth. What type of Wonderland has…

No, this wasn't Wonderland.

_This was Nowhere._

I recognised it like the back of my hand; the far-reaching valleys of sand, the only discernable feature being a winding road. I'm _home_, aren't I? I escaped the Otherworld without freeing Dark, didn't I?

Maybe Eustace and Muriel aren't gone, the house is still there. Perhaps I should just forget Wonderland, Oz, the Hatters, the Dreams…

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, dear boy."

It _was_ a Wonderland.

Leering at me was none other than Katz, now owning an elongated, bean-like body and several arms and legs. He smoked a hookah. Surprisingly, he didn't give me the same chills or sense of danger I used to get from him.

"OK, this has gone on long enough…"

"This isn't meant to be humorous, my friend. Now recite."

"What?"

"Recite 'You Are Old Father William'. I always enjoy a spot of poetry."

I've never heard that poem in my life, yet I decide to recite anyway:

'"_You are old, Father William," the young man said,_  
"_And your hair as grown terribly white,  
And yet you like to chop off people's heads,  
Do you think that is morally right?"_  
"_In my youth," said the father to his child,_  
"_I was stupid and tried to be sane,  
Now I let my madness go wild,  
It truly has improved my brain!'"_

"Not quite right, but quite fitting. Now, goodbye."

That's it? Goodbye. That's unlike him. The Katz I know is up for 'a bit of sport before dying', has an army of spiders at his disposal and likes to kill people for the sake of killing. He doesn't make you read poetry for him then ask you to leave! He was probably waiting to turn me into a piece of candy or use me as a torpedo.

I held the Vorpal Blade that Dark Sonic gave me tightly in my paw…

I closed my eyes…

The blade flew out of my paw…

I opened my eyes…

…just in time to see Katz sliced in half like a sausage. His blood is green.

"_I whish you hadn't done that…_"

"Whoo!"

The Katz-erpillar is replaced by none other than the shadowy man, his eyes showing admiration. Tied to a leash is that demonic version of myself he created, slobbering and laughing.

"Think of this as your final test."

"Wh…"

"The Hatter has brought several Wonderlands to life. But the unimaginative bum just took _**other**_ people's versions and couldn't be _**asked**_ to make his _**own**_.

I made _**my**_ own, though, and it's all _**yours**__**…**_"

With that, he released the demonic me from his leash.


	17. Nowhereland

"_**Sit down for a few minutes.**_"

I lay on a couch, instantly conjured up by the living shadow, which is _physically_ comfortable, but, at the same time, I felt myself twitching and squirming on it, _wanting_ to get off but being unable to for some odd reason.

"_**Relax, have a beer.**_"

That other me, while grinning and laughing at a joke nobody told, handed me a pint mug of frothy beer, much of it spilling out as I reached it. I took a swig of it to humour the shadow, but mainly to calm my nerves. I knew what the shadow man was doing; he's trying to be all pally and friendly, but it didn't even _begin_ to work. You're a huge black creature with fiery eyes and a demon hound; no-one's going to befriend _that_.

"_**You may be wondering why I'm here, and why this wonderful Wonderland has been created. Sit down quietly and I'll tell you.**_"

The demon me pressed a red button on a remote, and belts clung around me like boa constrictors, so that I could no longer feel my feet. "

"_**You see, my doggy friend, the Hatter thinks he's hot stuff with his Cheshire Cats and those people who lock themselves in their houses like World of Warcraft nerds. He claims to give them what they want, when all he givesI'm offering something that he cannot…**_ _**them is insecurity and dependence. **_"

I opened my mouth to reply but he immediately interrupted.

_**"**__**Pass this final test, and I'll give you back the family you lost. You'll go back to the real world, away from this accursed realm, living happily ever after…unless you fail to make me your new master.**_"

It felt like I had swallowed an ice cube – a _very large_ ice cube – and not _just _because of those last nine words. He didn't say anything about that demon me, or what he means by…

"_**Oh, yes, I almost forgot. Courage, don't you remember all those times you had to save Muriel from all those weird thingies? The movie-making zombies, the giant hungry insect thing, the alien chicken, everything?**_"

_How could I forget?_

"_**When someone intrigues me, I give them a unique test to prove themselves to me…and yours…**_"

_I want to break free of these belts, whack him in the face, __**kill him**__…_

"_**Buuut…I found it so ironic that you passed mytest through monsters Ididn't create…**_"

_**I am the Alpha and the Omega! The ultimate merging of flesh, bone, metal, and hatred!  
Well, how does it feel?  
ACTIVATE FULL WEAPONRY. USE ONLY FOR MASS DESTRUCTION.****  
WELCOME TO MY WORLD.****  
THAT DOES IT!!!**_

He thought I _loved_ it, just like that lizard _bitch_ when _she _talked to me! And he _ruined_ what _could_ have been a peaceful life lying on the lap of a sweet old lady who loves me like a _son_!

For _what_?!  
To _recruit_ me?_  
Why?!_  
It _seemed _like a good idea at the time?!  
Because it's_** fun?! **_

That's the excuse in this world; _we're just having fun_! Don't worry if anyone _dies_ or loses _everything_ they ever loved! _It's all fun and games, be a team player_!

I broke out of the belts, but whether it was of my own strength or the shadow's doing, I couldn't be sure. I screamed at the top of the lungs and leapt at the shadow, causing the demon me to laugh like a retard, but just as I was about to grab his neck and strangle him, he disappeared and I fell on my face. I was just a clown to them…

"COWARD!" I screamed, "COME BACK!"

"_**Good luck,**_" I heard it say, although him, and evil me, had long since vanished.

"SHUT UP!"

I'm _not_ taking their final test, they _can't_ make me. It would be _letting_ them win. This was the bastard who threw some creatures at me and expected me to _like_ it.

But he said he could bring Muriel and Eustace back…I could feel her soft hands against my fur once more, I could taste her vinegar cooking.

Maybe…maybe he'd lay back on those creatures if I passed this test…I could have the peaceful life I've always wanted…

"Oh dear, oh dear, I'm late…"

Oh no…

"Mad Dog will have my head as sure as ferrets are ferrets!"

Double oh no…

--

"We're here."

The Troll Queen, upon arrival in her destination, forced Jack to stop the carriage so she could let Madigan out as part of her plan. She leapt off the driver's seat, walked over to the back of the carriage, opened the door, and her eye bulged in surprise when she saw the Faceless Hatter hitching a ride, as it were.

"_You_," she snarled, "What are _you_ doing…"

"I am merely mocking Mr. Madigan over his predicament."

"Don't give me that crap. You're here to ruin my plans. I know you."

"Your Majesty…"

"_Spare me your flattery!_"

"But…"

Jack ran to the back of the carriage in order to help his new mistress, who responded with a "Let me," and pulled the Hatter's head off like he was a Barbie doll.

"This is getting_ most_ tiring!"

The Queen tossed the Hatter's head in a deep pool…a pool Madigan knew too well…

The Pool of Tears.

"Yes, Madigan. You're _home_. Happy?"

He didn't answer. He just looked around at his surroundings which once gave him comfort, but now caused his heart to beat across his ribcage and made him feel like he was going to vomit.

"Are you going to answer or not?"

Madigan jut lay his head low and sighed.

"I _thought_ as much."

Just at that moment, the troll heard a loud crunching noise behind her, which somehow distinguished itself from the screams and jabbering of the nearby trees and shrubs, and before her, right out of the Everlasting Forest, stood Bruzzini, nervously smiling and wiping mucus from his nose.

"Oh, it's…"

"My _dear _Bruzzini," She snarled that sentence, with her face resembling a vulture rather than a lizard. "I _assume_ you have found the Alyssian resistance?"

"Actually…" Bruzzini scratched the back of his neck, biting his lip, "…no."

"I _knew_ it. I _knew_ you couldn't even be trusted to do _that_! I bet you've just been frolicking around the woods like a little _fairy_, haven't you?"

"No…"

"This mission is of the _utmost_ importance. There is _no_ time to waste. We need to eliminate _anything_ that could impede our progress. So when I ask you to carry out a task, _**you do it**_**!**" Queen hung her head, slumped her shoulders, and sighed in defeat. "Perhaps _I'm_ the one to blame, for trusting _you…_"

"The woods are _big_! It's not _my _fault! Stop acting like a _bitch_!"

"A _bitch_, am I? If _that's_ your attitude, you can just go back home and _forget _about this."

"But…I was hoping I'd help…"

She actually smiled at that point. "Let me tell you something. There is a _reason_ most of us were created and why we live. All of us are created out of some kind of _necessity_. Your _raison d'etre_, as I have heard it called, is to be nothing but _useless_ so more successful and useful people like _myself_ can gain confidence and security from someone to compare ourselves to. _You_ are destined to be nothing more than a comedy relief sidekick lie on those juvenile _cartoons _you gain pleasure from. In _that_ sense, I'm actually somewhat _glad_ you failed…"

Bruzzini actually slugged the Queen in the face, tired of her condescending nature. She whacked him over backwards with her tail in response, and then grabbed him by the shoulders, growling furiously.

"Um…you wouldn't hit a guy with glasses?"

Queen snatched them right off his nose and threw them to the ground, smashing them to pieces with her foot. She finished off the spectacle by hitting Bruzzini between his eyes, and shoving his face in mud. While most of the trees and shrubs were shocked, some of them laughed and cheered to see these two characters fighting, but Bruzzini had begun to cry.

"Oh, _stop_."

"_But…b…_"

"You're not going to get _any_ sympathy from me. Now _go_!"

--

"I'm late, I'm late!"

It was Bunny, the one I helped reunite with her friend Kitty. I often found myself wondering if their relationship was more than friends sometimes…

I'm _not _following her. Not at all. She'll just lead me into something _weird_ and _nasty_. I'll be playing right into the shadow's hands, if he has hands. I'll just stand here and wait for this all to be ov…

"Hey, dog, why aren't ya movin'?"

The Duck Brothers? No, it's not the Duck Brothers, just weird meta-versions of them. I can tell from their propeller beanies.

"I'm Tweedle Dee," said the blue eyed one, "and this is Tweedle Dum." He gestured to the green eyed one.

"I'm not Dum, you are!"

"Oh, not this again."

"_FELLAS!_" I cried, like I always did…

"What?"

"Um…forget it."

"Well, dog, you shouldn't be worrying yourself. _None_ of this is real it's all in your head."

How I'd love that to be true…that I'm still _sane_ and Muriel _didn't _vanish…it's all a bad dream and I'm going to wake up any minute.

"The _Hatter_ says this world is real and _he's_ a character in a _book_ so he _can't_ be right."

"But…so are you."

"At least one of us is real." One of them held out a cardboard sign. Scribbled on it in magic marker were the words:

**(1) TWEEDLE DUM DOES NOT EXIST  
(2) TWEEDLE DEE DOES NOT EXIST  
(3) AT LEAST ONE SENTENCE ON THIS SIGN IS FALSE**

"I have no time for mind games I just want to get out of here!"

The third Duck Brother, the one with orange eyes, joined them, holding out a sign of his own:

**(1) TWEEDLE DOO EXISTS  
(2) BOTH SENTENCES ON THIS SIGN ARE FALSE**

"I'm Tweedle Doo, and according to this sign, _I_ exist, so you can trust _me_, and I say _none_ of this is real and all in your head."

"Think about it, dog. It's all rather _Freudian_," Tweedle Dee explained. "The shadow could represent your unknown fears, the Hatter your fear of going mad, the shark your aggressive and violent side."

"Actually that sounds more _Jungian_ than Freudian…" Tweedle Doo piped up.  
"What?"  
"If you got characters in dreams representing different aspects of ones personality, that's _Jungian_. Not Freudian."  
"What makes _you_ the expert all of the sudden?" Tweedle Dum asked.

"FELLAS!" I tried to mediate once again.

So maybe I am mad…

What's the test? I have to ignore them?

I have to believe them?

I have to _kill_ them?

"Now listen to our poem; _The Walrus and the Eggman_." Tweedle Dum began.

"You mean like that guy who builds all those nasty robots?" Tweedle Doo asked.  
"No, I think he means the Eggman from the song 'I Am The Walrus'." Tweedle Dee replied.

"Someone said _we_ sound like the Beatles…" Tweedle Dum observed.

I ran.

I just ran.

I had to get out of this place…but what if the test is to find the way out? If I escape, I'll have passed and the shadowy creature will have me in his clutches.

"Mary Ann! Mary Ann!"

Bunny made her return, as frantic and worried as ever, grabbing me and shaking me. Why the hell did I bother helping her…

"Mary Ann, I'm looking for Kitty! Where is she?"

"I'm here…"

Kitty appeared – literally, she materialized – wearing that silver mask she wore when I first met her, except this time the face printed on it consisted of two round cartoon eyes, and a smile. A huge cheesy grin.

"KITTY! Oh, you've got to help me! Mad Dog is after me again!"

"Oh, Bunny." They hugged. I should have found it touching and cute; instead, I found myself twitching in disgust. I don't know why.

"_Know that in a former time, Love! Sweet Love! Was thought a crime!_"

It was the other Cheshire Cat, the skeletal one riddled with arcane tattoos, making his one thousandth appearance in this misadventure, staring at the 'couple'. "It's a rather unflattering portrayal of yours truly, but I support their feelings. It's very moving."

"Are you going to _help_ me or are you just going to wisecrack?"

"I _will_ advise you to find an exit as _soon_ as possible. Only _then_ will you have _failed_ the test." The cat disappeared, only to reappear again behind me. "I _warn_ you, this test _is_ easier to _pass_ than it is to _fail_." He disappeared completely.

"Bunny! I told ya to get away from dat Kitty!"

Mad Dog, followed by those salivating cronies of his, stepped into the scene. Surprise, surprise, their torsos had been replaced by playing cards, Mad Dog himself being the Ace of Clubs. He fiddled with an axe as he stared at Bunny.

I could save her. I could slice Mad Dog into pieces, as he is made of paper after all. If I do, I'll succeed and the shadow will have me.

But then I'll have Muriel back, I'll live happily ever after…

But that demon me…

Or maybe this is just a _dream_ like the Duck Brothers said. Bunny won't _really_ die, it's just an _illusion_.

So, I just ran. Running away from these things is not what the shadow wants, and I'll get out of his clutches. Besides, I have more important things to worry about…like…

OH NO! _A tea table._

"Keep it down, I'm tryin' to get some shut eye." Mr. Charlie Dormouse. How amusing.

What about…

"I don't mean to be rude, forgive me for butting  
But I couldn't help but notice that your hair wants cutting!  
A shave and a haircut is what I can do today  
And then you will shout, 'Come Fred, huzzah hooray!'  
And it makes me feel all…_naughty_."

After all I had been though I was never more frightened than I was at this very moment.

--

With that annoying ringmaster out of her hair – figuratively speaking, of course – the Troll Queen reached into the carriage and pulled out a brown satchel, filled with books.

A book of 'Magick' that kind of looked like the _Necronominon_ or the _Tome of Eternal Darkness_,

A tattered copy of '_Peer Gynt_' and,

The book she pulled out and fingered through, '_The Looking Glass Wars_', sporting a rather bright cover with tiny robots on giant mushrooms.

She had read it cover to cover _thrice_ in preparation, and even made some annotations where necessary; better the devil you know.

The devil, in this case, was none other than Redd, who, thanks in no small part to the Hatter, had regained control of this realm. The Troll Queen had a somewhat good idea of what she was like from the book, which helped her decide her approach. There had to be as _least_ physical combat as possible; Redd had the power of Imagination on her side, something Queen lacked even when using magick.

But _mentally_, she was more or less a child. Queen decided the way to go about this task was that she'd offer Madigan to Redd- one thing she was never promised was that she got to kill Madigan herself – in exchange for alignment, or perhaps a portion of the Queendom. If she refused, there would be a _surprise_.

First, she had to find Mount Isolation…

She pulled out of the satchel a map of the '_Wondernations_' she had printed off of the official website. She stood by the Pool of Tears, so she had to travel through '_Wondertropolis_' then through a 'Chessboard Desert'. Then…

She looked up from the map and saw a giant playing card that looked like it was made of brass, in front of her. The Queen remembered reading something like this from the book…

"Oh, shi…"

The card unfolded like a fan and transformed into a robot resembling those on that cover, complete with a bayonet in its mechanical arms. One could mistake it for a Battle Droid from Star Wars. It lifted the bayonet and fired at the sawhorse, breaking off its front legs. This seemed to enrage Jack, who lifted his head off its shoulders and threw it at the robot, which had no effect.

The Queen just stood there in shock. _Redd knew she was there_?

She watched as the robot tore her pumpkin-headed cohort to pieces, even though he was constantly trying to piece itself back together, only to be torn apart further, while the steed just lay there, looking mournfully at its broken legs. The Queen would _almost_ feel sorry for it, were it not so _hideous_.

"I'm sorry. I thought you were the dog."

The strait-jacketed Mad Hatter ran out of the bushes, clutching a remote control in his gloved hand. The Troll Queen knew she had to trust him, that both of them were working for the shark. But there was still something…_off _about him. His hideous wrinkled face, and the way it was stuck upon a body made of wood and gears, and the unattractive gear protruding from his back, made her feel sick.

In a way, his appearance reminded her of Bruzzini, albeit a lot smarter…

"_What was that?_"

"Actually, my dear, it was to _aid_ you in your goal. Redd will be easier to deal with now that, using my superior intellect, I have been _reprogramming_ the Cut to fight for us." He bowed before her like she was already his Queen.

"Good."

"That's all the congratulations I obtain?" he glanced up, a look of confusion apparent.

"You were expecting a _parade_? I won't give you my _true _congratulations _until_ we succeed, and even _that_ is unlikely. Because of your experimental _mishap_, it looks like we are going to have to _walk_ to our destination."

The Queen sighed and handed the Scientist Hatter a pair of handcuffs. The Mad Hatter walked over to Hatter Madigan and locked a cuff around the bladesman's wrist, as well as his own. Upon this, Madigan whacked his counterpart right in the face, the scientist then subduing him with gas from under his top hat. The Queen, rolling her eye and groaning, led the way to Wondertropolis.

--

"Your Imperial Viciousness!"

A short, fat man wearing a powdered wig ran through the corridors of Redd's fortress, searching for his mistress, with serious news to tell her. He didn't care about the consequences it would have on her, only that she would be impressed that _he_ was the one reporting it.

"What is it, Jack?" The fat man, the Jack of Diamonds as he was known, found himself being approached by his Queen. She towered over him, glaring at him with her long, pale face as if she were about to eat him alive, her red dress trailing behind her. "What is it, you fool?"

"Your Imperial Viciousness," he bowed again, "I have received word that someone has been stealing your machinery and is reprogramming it _against _you!"

Jack tried to keep a calm, sophisticated composure while saying these words, constantly adjusting his monocle and puffing out his chest as he said them, but couldn't help but cower as Redd used her powers to cause a miniature tornado, where vases, chairs and tables swirled around the room, and a painting hit Jack straight on the forehead.

Just when she thought she had finally got what she wanted! Just when Alyss, Dodge and Madigan had been disposed with for good! Just when the resistance had grown weak and their morale grown low! Just when she had received the perfect new henchman! Something like _this _happens. That army was one of her greatest technological advancements, much better than anything her goody-goody sister could devise, and someone steps in and does _this_!

"I will be sending the _Jabberwock_ to investigate this right away!"

The Jabberwock. Jack cringed at the name. Not only did the idea of a sentient Jabberwock give him the creeps, Redd's newest henchman irritated him in a way it was impossible for the Cat to do. For one thing, it seemed Redd had a rather unnatural fixation with that creature that bordered on _bestiality_. He'd give an objection, but Redd's power had increased from exposure to the Heart Crystal, so arguing with her would be akin to annoying a grizzly bear.

_**I think you'll find that will be the least of your worries…**_

Unbeknownst to the two characters, none other than a certain shark had been taking pleasure in watching them at that very moment. And how could he not? He had been to this Wonderland before, for the sole reason of attempting to convince Redd to help him. She had the power of Imagination on her side, and, although _he _could conjure up _entire buildings_ by thinking about them, hers seemed to _overpower_ his. This made her the perfect ally in helping him achieve his goal. The Hatter would never know what hit him!

But no.

"You expect me to serve _anyone_, let alone a giant flying fish?"

"It is only this world I have any interest in."

"I will _not_ work with that fat tentacle thing, especially after she claimed to be my superior."

"Now OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

Redd then proceeded to conjure up cartwheeling axes in the air, which sliced the shark's head off, but didn't kill him in the least. Redd, however, felt confident that she had killed the pest, and returned to her 'duties'. She didn't see the shark in her imagination's eye, due to the nature of the beast, so he was able to plot against her as much as he liked. With the Troll Queen, a much more obedient and willing female monarch, and that other Hatter on his side, Redd would either unknowingly help him or be punished for her arrogance.

--

It was Freaky Fred, now donning the classic top hat with the price tag, along with a giant pair of rusty scissors that almost leaves me wishing for a razor. Was that shaving part of my 'test' too, shadow?

"Now, now, it's nothing to be afraid of."

Once again I ran.

_Now, HERE, you see, it takes all the running YOU can do, to keep in the same place._

That statement was certainly proved true when I ran into Mad Dog and his club again, this time with Mad Dog clutching Bunny's torn up carcass like a teddy bear. Blood dripped everywhere and his card body was covered with it….

_I could have saved her…_

_**YOU CAN STILL AVENGE HER DEATH, YOU KNOW**__**…**_

_I warn you, this test is easier to pass than it is to fail._

Fred's rusty scissors…  
They're aimed for my head…  
He wants me bald again…  
This time he's going to do it s l o w l y, e v e r s o s l o w l y, and savor every millisecond….  
Mad Dog lunges…  
Fred doesn't cut me…  
He cuts Mad Dog…  
I laugh….

Fred's rusty scissors…  
They're aimed for my head…  
He wants me bald again…  
This time he's going to do it s l o w l y, e v e r s o s l o w l y, and savor every millisecond….  
Mad Dog lunges…  
Fred doesn't cut me…  
He cuts Mad Dog…  
I laugh…

Fred's rusty scissors…  
They're aimed for my head…

It just seems to play over and over like a broken record.

Death.

Death again.

_**buT i lOVe DeATh**_

_**dYinG iS sO mUch fuN**__**HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**_

Damn Hatter.

Now _he's_ interfering.

_Insanity._

But what I couldn't help but wonder, was where was…

"THERE YOU ARE!" an all too familiar voice screamed, though who it was shouldn't be screaming.

I turned and saw Muriel!

Muriel was alive!

Then I slapped myself for thinking it was that simple.

Despite my best efforts to control myself, I ran up to her, embraced her, hoping it would all go away.

"Whose filthy mutt is this?!" Muriel cried, trying to shake me off of her leg.

"Muriel! It's me!" I answered, wondering if she could understand me.

"I don't know who you are! _OFF WITH YOUR HEAD_!!!"

"But…but…"

"_OFF WITH HIS HEAD_!!"

I ran again, fighting the urge to cry… how could she just _reject_ me like that? How could she just…

"_Canine!_" The Cheshire Cat called from seemingly nowhere. "I've found an exit! Come quickly!"

The Cat led me to another puddle, and I instantly hesitated. Another of those worlds lay beyond it. I had been through four weird places already and I didn't need another. That Cheshire Cat, though, he's luring me into another world of talking beasts, savage queens, tea parties and _**MaDNeSs**_.

He says that I _have_ to do this if I want to succeed and keep my sanity. There are many more creatures and challenges to face, he said. Each worse than the last and they want me and they are all waiting to transform me into a shell of my former self.

_Why_, I asked the Cheshire Cat. _Why are they picking on me_? For what purpose?

The cat didn't answer that question, he just told me to get into that puddle again.

_I'm afraid that if __you __want to 'save the day' and for everything to go back to normal then you have to JUMP THROUGH THE DAMN PUDDLE __COURAGE!_

And what choice did I have?


	18. Through The Looking Glass War Part 1

While trekking the sinister landscape, Dark Sonic looked at Ling Ling with a sly smirk. Sure his army wasn't as big as what everyone else had, but Ling Ling would tear through them in a blink. It's not the size of the army, but how skilled the warriors.

The Hatter and everyone else would learn that soon enough.

Another advantage he had over the others was loyalty. Everyone in the other's armies were either forced against their will or joined for selfish reasons. Either way, the odds of betrayal within the ranks was high and Dark was surprised that they were ignoring it as they were.

Ling Ling was Japanese, and as such, had an unwavering sense of honor, which Dark smirked at the stereotype. He may be psychotic, but if you got him on your side, you'd never have to worry.

Dark smiled at the memory of when he found the rodent. He spoke Japanese, but being a demon, Dark could understand any language. And the conveniently placed subtitles of his world helped.

He remembered that he was from a reality show of sorts where he had to deal with jerks and idiots all the time. Dark instantly found him relatable in that department, and the two hit it off.

However, despite his philosophy that size didn't matter, Dark Sonic still felt he needed a few more recruits. The more people who joined him, the less who would join the others. After his recruitment, Ling Ling had told Dark Sonic stories about how a certain shark came into his house, and offered him a job, stating he could whatever his heart desires. When Ling Ling refused, the shark tore up all the other characters in the house to bloody smithereens, another common occurrence of his world. This made Ling Ling even less cooperative towards the floating fish, and he ended up in Otherworld.

With that story, Dark Sonic was reminded of how important dethroning those idiots was going to be.

So Dark Sonic had come to the twisted Wonderland in hopes of finding another recruit that could potentially be snapped up by that ambiguously gay dictator. Grimm, he was called. Apparently, he liked to warp sanitised fairy tales to their original dark forms and while that could attract Hatter and Dark Side, it also intrigued Dark Sonic, as he had never liked saccharine or political correctness. People so namby-pamby they can't even protect themselves from reality. Possibly most of the inhabitants of Otherworld in general.

For some time, Dark and Ling Ling explored the realm Courage had recently exited, trying to ignore the smell of brimstone and mercury that travelled in the air, until they came across who they were looking for. It was a man. Not just any man though. He was a short man, shorter than any normal person, and had a scruffy beard like a pirate. His mustache was humorously long and curled in a typical villain fashion, which framed his rotting, multi-colored teeth. Bushy eyebrows that hung over one red and one black eye, and a red, swollen nose that was common among alcoholics completed the look.

He didn't wear a shirt, but you couldn't tell due to the length of his beard, and the pants, knee high striped socks with matching stocking hat, and elven boots he did wear were filthy.

"Hello," said Dark Sonic.

"And greetings to you too," replied Grimm in a tone that seemed to belie his filthy appearance, "And who might you be?"

"I'm Dark Sonic! Destroyer of realms and master of chaos!" he gestured to Ling Ling, "and this is my associate, Ling Ling. Japanese killing machine." Ling Ling bowed formally.

"They call me Grimm. This is me favorite vacation spot. A dystopian rendition of a once fanciful world: Grimm paradise!"

"I don't think we have time for vacation," said Dark Sonic in a more serious tone, "You have heard there's a war in Otherworld?"

"Of course! I feel I am one to follow current events!"

"Then you must know that you have a rival in making nice things horrendous. Several in fact."

"Indeed, though it does me heart proud to see others share me philosophy."

"But you do it so much better than the other morons. I mean, that Hatter thinks he can do it, and convince others that he is a just and noble ruler? At least we _admit_ that we're despicable and evil."

"I have heard of this Hatter, and I'd like to give him what for," Grimm idly scratched his rear, "but my powers seem to be stifled in his domain."

"Probably for the same reason I can't use my powers." Dark Sonic muttered to himself. He was beginning to realize that there was something here that prohibited the likes of his power, and this was proof his theory was correct.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing. But it seems you need to join a team if you're going to get through all this malarkey, and I'm just the man you need!"

"Will I get to wreak havoc?"

"Sure!"

"I'll think about it. I've always been wary of erinaceomorpha."

"Oh, I'm sure you'll come to your senses soon enough."

-----

_I almost drowned._

Strange, really. I've been through about four or five puddles and they were quite simple – not really all that different from an elevator. It _never_ felt like drowning, I _never_ had to frantically move my arms and legs about in order to ensure the tiniest iota of survival. It reminded me of that terrible incident with that water witch…

_The shadow…_

With much perseverance though, I finally managed to splash through the water, with my head bobbing above the surface, allowing me to view this new Wonderland in all its glory…

The first thing I saw upon entering the surface was a huge wall made out of crystal, although it did not gleam, as it was the middle of the night. I slowly paddled towards the ground, greeted by a forest. As I leapt onto the ground and shook myself clean in typical canine fashion, (_which I found quite strange as I didn't get wet going through the other puddles_) I couldn't help but listen to the strange screeching and jabbering noises.

At first, I thought it could have been wild animals but all I had to do was look up and see that the trees had _faces_.

Granted, I've seen far stranger, but it still gave a mild shock.

"We've had lots of visitors today," said an oak.

"What _sort_ of visitors?" A pang of dread entered my gut.

"First, there was this ugly guy…said his name was Bruzzini…"

_Him_? I didn't need to worry about him. He was an utter joke…

"Then there was this lizard woman with one eye…and she was with this other person…he looked _just_ like Hatter Madigan…only…_not_."

"Don't forget," said another tree, "Hatter Madigan was _there_ with them."

So now I'm _talking_ to _trees_ about a _bodyguard_ that's been captured by his _evil double_ and a _troll_. Somehow it seems rather normal…and I found I couldn't help but think of that talking tree I encountered back home. His sage advice, his kindness.

I wonder if he found a home here when he died?

"Could you tell me which way they went?" I asked, snapping from my memories.

"They said they were going to Wondertropolis…"

"_Wondertropolis_?"

"Yes, our capital city. Then they said something about going to the Chessboard Desert to see Queen Redd…"

With that, every tree shuddered. I _knew_ that 'Redd' obviously meant trouble, but for some reason I did not fear her.

I didn't sense any danger, I did not gasp like I normally did, I didn't even gain an urge to kill her.

In fact, the only emotion I could summon up was irritation. She was nothing more but a nuisance…and that thought disturbed me a bit…

However, I still wished Alistair had arrived here with me. Cynical and annoying he may be, but he'd probably make this situation easier.

Something at that moment _did_ bring a chill up my spine, however.

_The winged shadow, circling the sky…_

_-----  
_

_Wonderland's saviour is the Great Redd,_

_Know this now or you'll be dead,_

_We will pound into your head,_

_T__he glory of the Great Queen Redd!_

The trio saw no speakers, no radios or anything like that, but the music dominated the air, filling every nook and cranny of Wondertropolis, highlighting its decay and descent.

_A long time ago, in the old Heart Palace,_

_There resided Genevieve and then Alyss,_

_Both Queens were poor, both Queens were weak,_

_How w__e loved to hear their dying shrieks!_

_And now Mighty Redd is__ on the throne,_

_And only she rules, her alone__!_

"Disgusting," snarled the Troll Queen. Whether she was talking to herself or to him, the Scientist Hatter didn't know, but he concurred. Trash and litter bounced their way along the almost empty streets, buildings that once sparkled now casting devious glares over the city's denizens, wilting and lifeless plants drooping over the pavement, and that _music_…it reminded Troll Queen of those annoying singing things from _Shrek_, singing about how great their kingdom was…

Hatter Madigan was _especially _disgusted. Not only at the décor and the current ruler, but at _himself_ for letting it get this way to begin with.

But he didn't show any weakness, not now….there would be a time for self loathing later…

_Wonderland's saviour is the Great Redd,_

_Know this now or you'll be dead,_

_We will pound into your head,_

_The glory of the Great Queen Redd!_

_If you deal with Redd, I think you'll find,_

_She owns the most powerful mind,_

_Her mind is filled with fear and gloo__m,_

_Her imagination is your doom,_

_Mess with her and you'll be dead,_

_So all hail the Great Queen Redd!_

_Wonderland's saviour is the Great Redd,_

_Know this now or you'll be dead,_

_We will pound into your head,_

_The glory of the Great Queen Redd!_

The troll couldn't help but cringe at this phantom chanting, now looping back for the hundredth time. She was a Queen herself and, while the humans may have seen her as an evil empress and some of her subjects would sometimes complain about taxes being too high, she felt she had been a _good_ monarch. She let the trolls live the way _they_ wanted, _didn't she_?

Well, at least she was a much better ruler than her _father_, that bastard. He seemed more interested in spreading his _philosophies_ then ruling a kingdom the way it _should_ be ruled. And he was even so arrogant as to commission that Edvard Grieg fellow to write a _symphony _in his _name_! She glanced at the copy of _Peer Gynt_ she had in her bag and scowled…

_To man – be thyself. To troll – be enough._ His motto echoed in her head.

What did that _even mean_? And he used it as a basis to why she _should _have married…

_No,_ she didn't want to dwell on the past, not when the present was _hers_ for the _taking…_

"_Look out!_"

The Scientist Hatter pointed straight towards the clotted sky, where a dragon made his descent towards the group. Queen was taken aback; she certainly hadn't read about _this_.

The dragon turned towards the two hatters, especially the one in the impossibly tall hat. "_You_ look…_familiar_…"

------

"I wouldn't go _barging _straight into Wondertropolis if I were you, I'd be taking my time and _exploring_ this place."

_Him again_, materialising on top of a tree's branches, his paw dangling, his tail swishing.

"I have rather limited knowledge about _this _Wonderland other than this is where Madigan hails from, but I _do_ know where you can find some sage information about it. Go to the Valley of Mushrooms. I'll show you the way."

He hopped down off his tree branch and began walking, and I stupidly followed, unknowing what awaited me now.

After a tedious trek through the talking trees, some of them actually cheering me on, I arrived at a mountaintop, surveying a landscape that _should _have been beautiful.

How could it _not_ be picturesque? _Two_ suns shone in the sky, their light reflecting off the caps of a variety of colourful mushrooms.

These mushrooms towered over all the other plant life, casting triumphant shadows over the flowers and grass. In a way, it was…_trippy_. Yet it also filled me with a sense of hideous dread. Why?

_The tentacles._

Those crimson, pulsating tentacles that were wrapping themselves around the mushroom stalks and strangling them to prove their disgusting dominance. Throbbing like they had a heartbeat.

I _knew_ they came from that twisted realm the Scientist Hatter originated from – _what if he were behind one of the mushrooms, waiting to kill me?_

I'd be ready for him.

I descended down the mountain into the valley, allowing me to get a closer look at this carnage. As I walked between the giant mushrooms, I almost tripped over large bricks, which, according to nearby ruins, used to make up temples of some kind. These mushrooms made up some sort of labyrinth, constantly leading me into dark dead ends, until the Cheshire Cat materialised once again, leading me into a giant clearing.

I saw five _humongous_ caterpillars of different colours, each puffing on a hookah that resembled the Empire State Building. Out of the many beasts I've encountered in these 'places', the caterpillars were easily some of the most…_ethereal_. While most of the other creatures resembled living cartoon characters or _Muppets_, these caterpillars actually _looked_ like caterpillars, albeit larger.

"Don't be scared, you can come out."

I did as the red caterpillar says and ambled towards the giant hookah.

"We know why you've come…wait, do we?"

"I'm not sure."

"Um," I said, "Are you gonna help me or what?"

"We're not sure. The logic of this world has been twisted out of proportion…"

"…and so our prophetic knowledge has dwindled."

"So you can't help me _at all_?"

Deep from the mushroom labyrinth came thick blue smoke rings, drifting into the atmosphere.

"Blue has called you."

-----

_Damn. Damn it._

The Scientist Hatter thought he was rid of that _damnable_ dragon for good. Now _here _he was, standing before him.

The dragon, _the Jabberwock_, looked rather…_different,_ with his mechanical appendages missing, looking _completely_ organic, which _disgusted_ his Hatter.

The second thing noticed about this curious beast was the fact he donned gleaming red armour, with pictures of twisted black hearts.

"Don't you _remember _me, Jabberwock?" The Hatter sneered. He had always hated that beast. The fact that the Red Queen made _**him**_ second in command…

"I don't think I do," replied the Jabberwock, "but I know you're trouble…"

Hatter Madigan could clearly read the Jabberwock and knew he was pretending not to remember. Obviously he had a history with his evil double.

"**AHEM.**" The dragon and scientist turned towards the Queen of Trolls, who had her arms folded and her foot tapping.

"Fellow reptile, I am the Queen of Trolls, and I seek an audience with Redd."

"For what purpose?"

"I have Hatter Madigan…"

The Jabberwock turned towards their prisoner, remembering the wanted posters he saw around the kingdom.

"It _looks_ like him, but I thought he was _defeated_."

"He was _alive_ in another world. Now if you don't mind, _please_ take us to see Her Imperial Viciousness."

The Jabberwock couldn't help but notice the troll fingering a golden box which she was taking out of her satchel.

Madigan saw this look of recognition and wondered what was going to happen.

"Very well," said the Jabberwock, clutching the trio in his massive four-fingered claws, "but _do __not_ underestimate either _me_ or Her Imperial Viciousness…"

----

'_Did Lao Tsu Dream the Butterfly, or did the Butterfly Dream Lao Tsu?'_

That was what it said atop the temple. And I thought the Cheshire Cat was pretentious…

In front of the temple lay a blue caterpillar, staring at me with unblinking eyes, puffing from his hookah like the rest of them. I almost expected him to start singing '_A, E, I, O, U…_' at any minute.

"Look, could you help…"

"Ahem hum mmm." Blue choked out a puff of smoke that materialised into a variety of images.

Rex materialised in the smoke, and so did I…it was _that _moment. Rex _hit me and hit me and hit me_ and punched a _hole_ right in my tooth.

Then he threw me _right_ into the alley where Muriel found me.

Muriel was in the smoke too, her sweet motherly smile. Her hair brown like it was when she was younger….

She faded though, replaced by _that _Alice, trapped in a blazing inferno, slamming on the window in hopes of breaking through, but the fire consumed her, reducing her to a charred skeleton.

She still screamed though, as the red tentacles rose from the floorboards, bringing her down to the dark abyss below.

_!_

The image became a woman in green. I was about to ask what it had to do with me when, within a millisecond, her face bore the reptilian features of the Troll Queen, her single eye searching around.

Her image was literally _swallowed_ by an image of that _demon shark_, who laughed as thick saliva and blood dripped from his mouth, bones sticking between his teeth.

The laughter faded, replaced by that of the Faceless Hatter, who disappeared as soon as he appeared.

It was like a bad trip…like I licked one of the nearby mushrooms…or those anti-drug commercials I've always seen on television.

And I couldn't help but notice the whole thing happened in 23 seconds.

"You are to be congratulated," said Blue, puffing his hookah some more, "many people go their whole lives without realising supernatural interference is there for a reason."

"Yeah, yeah, can you _help _me?"

"My world's logic is beginning to deteriorate, as it is being broken by _other_ worlds. As you no doubt know, nothing is _completely_ bad or good, so some advantage can be taken of this development."

_Advantage_?

"Indeed! Nothing is completely bad or good. So if you have to kill to survive, then so be it! As long as you don't enjoy it, it's not bad."

_Why did everyone have to bring up what I did in Vegas?_ I didn't enjoy it, so does that mean it wasn't bad? Or did that small iota of joy _make _it bad?

_Obviously_ I wasn't going to get much information out of this stoner insect, and began walking off.

"There was someone here looking for you. A strange hedgehog that talked about nothing but useless trivia and references I didn't understand."

_DARK SONIC IS HERE?_ Great….

Oh well, perhaps he would be of more help…

Just for a second, I turned back to the caterpillar for another question, perhaps out of desperation.

"Yes?"

"Do you know where I can find a friend of mine? His name's Alistair and he looks like me, only blue and he's kinda a computer..."

"I think my vision is clear enough to see him. Ah yes, like Madigan and the scientist who conspires to lay even more ruin to this world, you and Alistair have a strong connection." More mental mumbo jumbo. "Like you, he is facing mental torments in an effort to drive him to the brink of insanity."

"We all are. Now where is he?"

"I am unsure you want to know. He may not want you to find him."


	19. Obligitory Alistair Mindfuck

Alistair tore down the seemingly endless checkerboard halls of the world he had landed in.

It felt like he had been running around for hours yet the landscape never seemed to change. He had desperately tried to get away from those strange people and that creepy vision of Hanna, but now he seemed to have gotten himself hopelessly lost in this featureless maze.

"Just what in the world have I gotten myself into?" He groaned to himself while coming to a stop to catch his breath. Now he really doubted himself for letting Courage go into that puddle all by himself.

Was he in this world or in another?

Seeing Hanna like that had indeed caught him off guard and unsettled him a bit, but it certainly wasn't the first time this 'adventure' had tried to shock him with gruesome images like that. It was starting to feel like this world had been solely made with the idea of mess with his head in mind, first that grizzly sight of Hanna and now this seemingly endless hall.

"At this rate I really am going to start hoping that fool hedgehog tries to destroy all these demented worlds," he muttered to himself. He took in his settings once more hoping to find something out of place.

He was about to continue on his way again when something did indeed catch his eye. A single black dot on one of the white checker tiles. He took a step forward to get a better look.

Another black dot was made when something 'dripped' down the ceiling. He looked up and found that the black checker boxes were beginning to quiet literally melt into the white. The walls were slowly being consumed by the black and the ceiling kept leaking the mess too. In a matter of seconds the checkerboard landscape had changed into a rolling endless abyss.

Now he had utterly no idea where to go. It felt as if he'd be sucked into the darkness if he took even a single step forward.

"Great, just great."

'What a foolish creature you are,' A disembodied voice spoke from within the darkness.

He shot around on the spot but saw no one. Of course this also wasn't the first time a disembodied voice had spoken to him ever since he landed in Otherworld. But this wasn't like any other he had heard before.

'How funny it is! Funny that as soon as you can no longer act as though you're superior to everyone else around you, all the walls of your pathetic psyche come crashing down! As soon as you can no longer rely on insults you are quick to resort to anger, violence, or fear. Your true colours quickly begin to show, you are nothing more then a weak coward trying to hide from the rest of the world! You try to hide all your insecurities behind that cute little superiority complex of yours.'

He took several steps back, but it felt like that voice was getting closer by the minute. He really wanted to ignore everything that was being said, but deep down everything it was saying was true.

How many times had he been truly hurt by something one of his supposed friends said, but hid it through his own verbally abusive comments? Then again it was that cruelty he showed to others that caused them to say equally nasty things.

He tried to banish those sorts of thoughts from his mind. He needed to concentrate on finding a way out of this place.

Then another voice spoke from behind him.

"Alistair?"

He knew that voice! A fond familiar voice! One he knew deep down he had been aching to hear! And it certainly wasn't foreboding or cruel like the one in the darkness.

A young woman stood before him. The last person he thought he'd see in a semi-normal state in this world.

-----

_Damn. Damn it._

The Scientist Hatter thought he was rid of that _damnable_ dragon for good. Now _here _he was, standing before him. The dragon, _the Jabberwock_, looked rather…_different,_ with his mechanical appendages missing, looking _completely_ organic, which _disgusted_ his Hatter. The second thing noticed about this curious beast was the fact he donned gleaming red armour, with pictures of twisted black hearts.

"Don't you _remember _me, Jabberwock?" The Hatter sneered. He had always hated that beast. The fact that the Red Queen made _**him**_ second in command…

"I don't think I do," replied the Jabberwock, "but I know you're trouble…"

Hatter Madigan could clearly read the Jabberwock and knew he was pretending not to remember. Obviously he had a history with his evil double.

"**AHEM.**" The dragon and scientist turned towards the Queen of Trolls, who had her arms folded and her foot tapping.

"Fellow reptile, I am the Queen of Trolls, and I seek an audience with Redd."

"For what purpose?"

"I have Hatter Madigan…"

The Jabberwock turned towards their prisoner, remembering the wanted posters he saw around the kingdom. "It _looks_ like him, but I thought he was _defeated_."

"He was _alive_ in another world. Now if you don't mind, _please_ take us to see Her Imperial Viciousness."

The Jabberwock couldn't help but notice the troll fingering a golden box which she was taking out of her satchel. Madigan saw this look of recognition and wondered what was going to happen.

"Very well," said the Jabberwock, clutching the trio in his massive four-fingered claws, "but _do __not_ underestimate either _me_ or Her Imperial Viciousness…"

-----

"Danny!" He called smiling. Wasn't it her who always was telling him to smile more often? "You're probably just a figment of my imagination too, but it's good to see you anyway!" He joked.

However she did not return a warm greeting. Her face instantly turned angry. "How could you? How could you kill General like that?" She yelled.

He stepped back in shock. He had never expected such a thing would be brought back up again.

She continued, her voice getting all the more louder "I never thought you'd do such a thing! Everyone was so sad and angry! Nobody thought you'd go that far! And then when I tried to talk to you, you just ignored me! You went back into that damned computer to hide as usual! You left me all alone when I needed you most! I thought you cared about me?"

For once he was truly at a loss of words. Indeed, after killing General he couldn't find the words or courage to talk to her again. He remembered all too well when he refused to talk her, she had left the attic crying and never spoke to him again.

"Well aren't I the reason you killed General? So that bitch wouldn't get in our way anymore? So we could be left in peace without that woman trying to take you away?"

"Of course not! You don't know what happened!" He finally shouted out.

"I bet you never really cared about me anyway!" She shouted

That other voice being to speak again. The voice was venomous as if they were enjoying this. 'What if I were to tell Danny you were just using her for emotional support? That she was merely an object of affection for you and your broken emotions? That you could truly care less about her, just like everyone else?'

He felt a tinge of panic at those words. Panic quickly turned to anger at such lies. "That's not true! Not one word of it!"

'You really think so? You don't even know what real love is! You blindly search for it in others and like with Danny you abuse her love for your own sick satisfaction without showing any of that 'love' back. Never once have you said those three words humans seem to value so much to anyone. Do you even know the words? You couldn't once say those three little words to her, General, or anyone! You are incapable of feeling anything but false, twisted emotions while leeching off of people like Hanna, General, and Danny while never giving anything back! Oh and what about Courage too?'

He clenched his paws in anger. He absolutely hated it when others tried to classify him as less then human, and he wasn't going to take it from this voice! "Nonsense! You don't know anything about me or them! You can talk all you want and you can make that illusion say whatever you want it to say, but I did what I did to General out of self defence! After what happened, I couldn't get myself to say anything to Danny out of guilt. Whatever happened was an accident."

"Liar," The Danny illusion whispered.

'LIAR'

LIAR

LIAR

LIAR

LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR

LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR

LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR LIAR

LIAR

LIAR

LIAR

A union of voices spoke up from the darkness, all repeating the same thing.

"Shut up!" He yelled in desperation.

LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr

LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr LiAr

"I said shut up!"

The endless chorus of voices from Danny, the unknown voice, and thousands of other voices seemed to penetrate his very being; he couldn't think or even move. His mind could only register the one word that seemed to be overloading it,

'LIAR'

"I SAID SHUT UP YOU USELESS TWITS!" He finally yelled as loud as could. Try as he might he couldn't free himself from the insanity eating away at his consciousness.

"You're all wrong! All of you!" He cried swiping his metal claws around hopelessly.

DENY THE TRUTH!

DENY THE TRUTH!

DENY THE TRUTH!

DENY THE TRUTH!

DENY THE TRUTH! DENY THE TRUTH!

DENY THE TRUTH! DENY THE TRUTH!

DENY THE TRUTH!

He finally turned upon the illusion Danny and proceeded to rip her apart in desperation without even the aid of his feared Perfect Mode.

The voices finally let up and then the true horror of the situation hit him at full blast. He had expected the illusion of Danny to vanish in a puff of smoke like any other. Instead her gore seemed to be splattered everywhere.

He fell backward trying to escape the grizzly sight, it simply couldn't register in his mind that he was capable of doing something like that to his fellow friend.

There was no escape however for he was absolutely covered in her blood and no matter how hard he tried to wipe it off. It remained, muddling up his fur, and seemed to even spread. He couldn't avoid the stench either, as it seemed to overcome every other sense. Somehow he managed to escape one torture only to bring about another.

Then that awful voice being to talk again.

'You lack the urge, desire, or instinct to procreate.

Love is a meaningless and pointless emotion for a being like you.

That can clearly be seen here by how easily you were able to kill someone you supposedly 'loved'.'

"Don't even bother talking to me anymore." He spoke up trying to sound like he was in control.

"You just killed your best friend."

"Just an illusion. I-I had to make the voices stop anyway!"

'So you are going to keep blaming the sins you commit on everything else? You've now killed two with your own hands and you cannot acknowledge the fact that it is YOU who have ended their lives.'

"I had no choice...." His voice echoed off softly.

The voice began to laugh, 'Starting to doubt yourself? Not so perfect after all!'

The owner of the voice continued to laugh and then decided to step out of the shadows and show themselves to Alistair.

He recoiled partly in shock and partly in terror, he almost couldn't believe it to be true.

"Impossible! You can't possibly still be...." He didn't want to believe it. That grin, that green glow, that decomposing body....

The monster that had ruined his life in every aspect one could possibly imagine was alive once again....

"Zero...."

She laughed,

"Bet you didn't think you imagined your enemies into this world? Unlike the rest of imaginings which became soulless corrupted beasts we retain our sense of self. Guess you can't corrupt what's already corrupted!"

Alistair knew he couldn't beat her as she was now. It had taken a combined effort the last time just to tire her out! Even in Perfect Mode his level of power only barely matched hers, and at best, he could only nullify her destructive power. Neither could best each other and he had nobody he could team up with right now to take care of her.

"Hehehe! I can see that hopelessness and fear in your eyes! You know you have no hope of stopping me! I could kill you right here right now but of course, you want to die, so I can assure you I'll keep you alive for a very, very long time. After all, I now only exist now just to make you suffer! I think you made us because you WANT to be punished for the horrible things you've done! Don't worry old friend, we'll have lots of fun, then!"

He stood up. "Like I'm just going to give up without a fight!" No way was he going to let Zero have her way that easily! "I may not be able to win but that sure as hell isn't going to stop me from trying! I certainly have not forgotten the terrible things you've done! So long as you're still alive, I can keep punishing you for them! I may have done some bad things but they're nothing compared to you!"

"Oh this is going to be fun! How about this? I count down from ten seconds and....YOU RUN LIKE HELL!"

Considering it a moment he took the chance and did just that. If he had a chance to get away he would take it. He still had things to do among the living and a suicidal match could wait so long as he could get away from her.

The darkness seemed to go on forever, he turned around once to check for Zero and she was nowhere to be seen. Probably stalking him in the darkness which was just as well so long as she didn't get him.

"ALISTAIR" He stopped dead in his tracks. It wasn't Zero but instead that collection of voices again.

All around him his old friends materialized one by one. Even the sane Courage he once knew was among them. He was quickly trapped by a circle of old allies and every single one of them began voicing just how much they hated him in their own way.

Once again he could not block the onslaught of voices but he still tried to defy them. "I don't care what any of you think of me! I never have and I never will! Now get out of my way!"

His yells went unheard. Their words stung deep down because he always knew that had hated him for the exact reasons they were listing off. At one point he wouldn't have cared what they thought but that wasn't the case any longer.

The group began to close in on him. He realized he wasn't going to be able to get through without force. Sorrow was being to boil into hate with every word being said. He had trusted these people and time and again they betray him. How could they hate him so deeply when he had tried so hard to care about them?

"YoU CaNnOt LoVe!"

He finally snapped cutting down whoever was before him. He could have left the rest of them alone and ran but he was so angry with them that he wanted to make them to pay for betraying his feelings. He went into Perfect Mode fully in control and knowing exactly what he was doing. He jumped onto a former friend clawing at them while his tendril like wings speared anyone who got to close.

Any survivors who had avoided his wings or claws he went after showing no mercy. Magitek may not bleed but he was certainly covered in the gore of any human he ripped to shreds.

Lost in a red haze of anger brought on by hurt and betrayal he put an end to their voices.

The last survivor was Hanna herself, a little girl crying, pleading him not to hurt her. There was no sympathy left for this girl who had caused him so much emotional torment his entire life.

"A-Alistair please....I-I'm scared." She sobbed trying to back away.

He sneered. "You tell me I can't love! I tried to care about you all for so long and you all keep betraying me! It's the rest of you who can't love!" He then proceeded to rip her face off. Her screams were quickly silenced

Exhaustion quickly overcame him as soon as he finished Hanna off. This was normal after using Perfect Mode and he waited long enough to catch his breath. He slowly became aware of the fact he was now back in the strange checkerboard world. It had changed back without his notice.

"I killed them all." He groaned as the realization hit full force.

The illusion may have vanished but he was still bloodied from his massacrer, no doubt Zero wanted him to suffer. He had to desperately reassure himself that under normal circumstances he would have never even dreamed of doing something like that.

"T-they were just illusions...." He said to himself trying to calm down. "I wouldn't have done that to the real people. Hanna's too important for me to do something like that to her!" He shivered at the thought and tried to push the fresh memory out of his mind. He had to keep repeating that to himself to make himself believe it and even more so not despair over the terrible images of the slaughter he had caused.

Tired or not he forced himself to start running through the halls again. He had to find a way out, he had to stop Zero. He could only imagine what would happen if someone like that imbecile Dark Sonic recruited her or worse if Courage did himself. Zero was persuasive, she had after all rallied a whole species to try and end all life on earth under the false promise of paradise and if Courage was in enough danger he'd take any help from anyone....

Alistair took notice was leaving bloody paw prints behind as he ran. He really didn't care if someone decided to follow them or not. He could use them himself to find out if he was going in circles or something like that.

Apparently the fun wasn't over though, about ten minutes in something else caught him off guard.

An invisible force grabbed a leg tripping him up. Despite taking many falls before and having it almost never happen before his ever important glasses went flying.

Groaning he sat back up, all but blind without his glasses. Through his hazy vision the black and white checker landscape was all the more disorienting. He began fumbling around for his lost glasses but it quickly became apparent they had all but vanished from the general area where he fell.

"This is just perfect!" He yelled growing more and more frustrated. Zero could all but walk up behind him and he'd never know.

Gathering himself again he crawled up to a wall and began following it only to find a corner to what had once been a hallway. After going around twice it was clear that somehow the hallway had turned into a box...there was no doors to go through anymore.

Then came the union of voices once more....

Even through his hazy vision he could see the faces materializing from the white checker boxes. They took on the characteristics of his friends and began chanting,

MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER

MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER

MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER

MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER MURDERER

MURDERER MURDERER

There really wasn't anything he could do now but cover his ears and try to block their voices out. He was trapped but he was determined to keep his sanity. Then again he may have already lost it...

He groaned sliding down the wall covering his ears but it hardly did anything. In fact, he even heard another voice join the chorus.

_Guilt is a __bitch, isn't it?_

-----

"Your Imperial Viciousness!"

Redd, turning away from her meal of fried turtle-bird legs and roast dormouse, grimaced as the Jack of Diamonds stood at her door with his chest puffed out.

"What?!"

"That infernal pet of yours brought in two _people_, and I use that term lightly, who want to talk to you. They say they have Hatter Madigan…"

_**THAT LIAR**_!

"Bring them in!" snarled Redd between clenched teeth.

The Troll Queen stepped behind Jack and stared down at him. "_Move_." Jack sidestepped out of the way, actually _nervous_ of this alien creature's presence.

The Queen entered, her tail moving rhythmically as she walked with a slight sway. The two Hatters followed her in; just as Madigan was about to come to, his double drugged him yet again with more gas from his hat. Didn't want him misbehaving in front of royalty now did they? The Queen took out a chair and sat down, having to adjust a bit to make herself comfortable, sliding her tail through the back so it wouldn't be cramped.

"I have Hatter Madigan," she said formally, her claws clasped together to show no threat.

The two Queens just stared at each other in silence for several minutes. The Scientist Hatter tried to talk, but the Troll Queen silenced him.

She, however, was next to speak.

"I'll give you Madigan in exchange for letting me rule a portion of your kingdom."

Redd's eyes bulged and she let out a surprised gasp. "This is _my_ Queendom! Why should I give a portion of it to someone like _you_?"

Queen snorted, noticing the black roses snaking out from under Redd's chair. "You _severely_ underestimate me. I have experience in magick…" She pulled out the book of magick from her satchel. "…and I can recruit new members to your army of Black Imagination, as well as train the ones you already have. I am the Queen of Trolls after all."

"Ha! Why should I believe you?" The roses had now crept around Queen's arm and had begun to squeeze at it. "You bleed _green_. How interesting."

The troll's one free arm had now reached into her satchel and held out a golden box.

Redd cocked an eyebrow. "And what is _that_?"

"It was created using a combination of my magick and the powers of an associate of mine. It can _contain_ a powerful creature like you, so I suggest you co-operate. I believe it was once called, _the Rage Box_."

"_That's_ supposed to intimidate _me_?"

Redd now let out streams of roses, each with thick thorns and sharp jaws. Their _mouths_ opened and closed constantly, reminding Queen of fish – _a very specific fish_. The roses wrapped around Queen as if they were mummifying her, causing her to drop the box, which fell in the Scientist Hatter's gloved hand. That Hatter shot a bullet from his finger at the twisted black vines, but it just caused them to multiply and squeeze Queen tighter. The Hatter was about to open the box when another rose flew and wrapped around his waist. Redd threw Queen onto the Hatter, so that he fell over backwards while still clutching the box in his hand.

_I'm __**not**__ impressed…_

The two Hatters, Redd and the thorns suddenly disappeared, and the Queen of Trolls found herself in a deep black void, staring into the burning eyes of Dark Side. Queen peered at the shark on her hands and knees, moving slowly backwards.

_I can't __**believe**__ you allowed that _COW _to beat you to a __**pulp…**_

The shark's fins suddenly became like tentacles, which lifted her tiara off her head.

_You __**won't**__ need this. You are __**no **__Queen._

"No…n…" As she stared at this monster's features, smelled the corpselike stench on his breath and felt its warmth on her scales, Queen could hardly form a coherent sentence. She kept trying to tell herself that she wasn't afraid of this _fish_, but…no.

_**In fact**__, I don't really think you're __**any**__ different from a _**HUMAN**_**!**_

Queen gasped, and spat right in the shark's face. Instantly she regretted what she did.

**S**_**UCH **__**ARROGANCE!**__**I thought you were loyal to me!**_

Dark Side's breath became hotter and fiercer and his eyes burned with more fire.

_**I should let that Hatter rule this Wonderland**__, he's __**obviously**__ a better fighter than you…_

"Please…"

_What you told Bruzzini could also account for _**YOU**_._

He whacked Queen right in the eye and threw her down to the ground in an act more painful than anything Redd could accomplish.

_You may have __**no**__ purpose but to _**FAIL**_ and thus __**I**__ will have someone _**USELESS**_ to compare __**myself**__ to, to enforce __**my**__ authority._

He slugged Queen again, this time laughing with pleasure. Queen slowly got off the floor, her claws clasped together and her teeth clenched. Dark Side grunted.

_Oh, very well, _Dark Side rolled his eyes._If you're going to be a _**CRYBABY** _about these things, then you'll be happy to know your __**associate**__ has __**succeeded **__in capturing Redd, and I will let you rule __**this **__Wonderland, _**NOT** _for your own benefit, but so you can train some more members for __**my**__ ever-growing army._

With that, Dark Side opened his maw and consumed her. She screamed, but opened her eye and saw she was back in Redd's palace.

The Scientist Hatter held up the contained Redd triumphantly, giggling at the shaking and screaming of the box as he set it down on a table.

He looked down and saw the Troll Queen, now lying on the floor shivering and crumpled in a fetal position . She bled all over her body, breathed heavily and her tail nervously twitched. She saw the shaking and screaming box on the table, and the Hatter's victorious smile, which _should _have made her proud, but she just burst into tears.

While she cried, demonic laughter echoed through the palace.

-----

After trekking back to the beginning of the Mushroom forest, the cat appeared again.

"There has been a disturbing development in the former Hart Palace! You must come quickly!"

I thought of that shadow in the sky, and wondered where it went off too. But since it wasn't around, I felt safe to travel on.

"Be careful! You're improperly prepared for a Boss Battle!" Dark Sonic said, finally making himself known.

"What are you ranting about now?"

"Just that you're coming up on another Boss Battle, a fight with a more powerful foe! I'm sure that you'll die or worse!"

"Go away."

Dark obliged and disappeared. I came up onto the kingdom of Wondertropolis and instantly folded my ears against my head to drown out the _annoying_ music.

_Wonderland's saviour is the Great Redd,_

_Know this now or you'll be dead,_

_We will pound into your head,_

_The glory of the Great Queen Redd!_

_If you deal with Redd, I think you'll find,_

_She owns the most powerful mind,_

_Her mind is filled with fear and gloom,_

_Her imagination is your doom,_

_Mess with her and you'll be dead,_

_So all hail the Great Queen Redd!_

_Wonderland's saviour is the Great Redd,_

_Know this now or you'll be dead,_

_We will pound into your head,_

_The glory of the Great Queen Redd!_

Then I remembered the record player I got from Dr. Orbersohn. I pulled it out and played the soothing music on the included record, and to my surprise, it made the annoying music disappear. Now with safe passage into the kingdom, I could find out what was going….

The shadow swooped over me, and I spun to see a green lizard-like beast, waling on two legs. His mighty wings spread from the back of his red and black armour.

"Who are you, and what business do you have with Her Imperial Viciousness?" he asked, showing he had sentience.

So this was the _boss battle_ Dark was talking about. Well, I've been through it before…so…here goes nothing….


	20. Through The Looking Glass War Part 2

"I've come here to investigate the strange occurrences at her palace." I replied matter of fact.

This beast gave me a thoughtful look, as if analyzing what I said to see if it were truth. He then dropped into a stance that looked like a martial arts pose, but as if he were ready to fly again as well.

"You're _lying!_" he snarled.

"What makes you think _that_?" I asked, trying to sound innocent.

"_No one_ comes to the aide of Her Imperial Viciousness! No one _except_ me! You want to _destroy _her, don't you? You're a spy for King Arch!"

"I honestly don't know what you're talking…"

I was cut off when the beast slammed himself into me full force, knocking the wind out of me. As I struggled to breathe again, the creature explained himself.

"The place where I came from was _Hell_! A hell beyond words or descriptions! I came here," he gestured with his claws, "learning of this Wonderland's existence, and wanting solace in its peacefulness. I even gained the ability to get my _entire_ flesh and blood body back! _I'm whole again_!

"Then something happened to _this_ Wonderland, and now Her Imperial Viciousness is in charge, and I _chose_ to serve her because I didn't _want_ to lose this _freedom_! I didn't _want_ to give up what I worked so _hard_ to gain!"

I looked at this beast, and realized that _I_ was in a hellish Wonderland, much like the one he described, the one where that Scientist Hatter came from.

In fact, I saw a blueprint in the Scientist Hatter's laboratory that looked _exactly _like this creature.

Could they be connected?

"It was bad enough I let my _creator_ into this place with that one-eyed alligator thing, but _they_ had business! I _knew_ that my creator was too much of a _coward_ to try anything stupid, that's why he hid behind his machines, and hid behind _me_!"

So the Scientist Hatter made him a cyborg monster, and now he was whole again. And he didn't want to give it up, even if it meant serving an evil Queen? Even though I didn't fully agree with his logic, I could totally understand why he made that choice.

"You don't have to serve her to keep your gift," I explained. "You can help me defeat her, and restore this kingdom to how it was when you got here."

Of course, I didn't know why I thought that was a good idea, as a rush of fire from the beast's mouth alerted me to the fact that he wasn't listening at all to my preaching. He was set in his ways, and the unfortunate fact was that the only way to make him _truly _free…_was to kill him_…

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!  
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!  
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun  
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He was a monster, nothing more but a mindless, ferocious beast, and it was my job to kill him. This was, as Dark said, a boss battle.

I rolled away from his furious flames, only for him to glide back down and swipe at me. He then wrapped his snakelike fingers around my waist and lifted me to his face level, allowing me to smell the sulfuric stench on his breath as he roared at me. He threw me to the ground as if I were a piece of rubbish, which gave considerable pain. He lifted me again…

He took his vorpal sword in hand:  
Long time the manxome foe he sought

That knife…

Why do I always miraculously have it when I need it? It's like Felix the Cat and his carpet bag…

One, two! One, two! And through and through  
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!  
He left it dead, and with its head  
He went galumphing back.

Do I cut off his head? Since he's the Jabberwocky, it's more or less law to do it. Isn't it?

I plunged the knife right between his eyes. The beast howled in pain, and almost dropped me. I hung onto one of his fingers tightly, and took another stab, _at_ his eye. I fell to the ground after that act, the eye of the creature stuck onto the knife's end.

"AGH! CUR!" He ran towards me, still clutching his eye-socket. I leapt out of his way, noticing strange vibrations with the knife. It grew longer, the blood-stained metal became wood and I now held a staff in my paws, the Jabberwock's eye sitting proudly at the end.

The creature turned around and breathed more flames, which engulfed the entire area. I just stood there with my eyes closed, thinking that when I open them I'll…

"AGH!" The staff had a mind of its own, releasing a thick purple beam which hit the Jabberwock right in the stomach. His armor split in two and clunked right on the ground. He leapt into the air and darted towards me, his claws reaching for the staff.

The beam hit him again.

"_Why do you persist?_"

"It's not me, it's…"

"LIES!" He charged towards me like a bull as I dropped the staff and just did what I did in the past; run. Perhaps I should look for another puddle…

The staff appeared back in my hands. Damn thing.

One last time…

The beam came out again.

It sliced his legs off.

IT SLICED HIS LEGS OFF.

"Precious blood…"

He fell over on his back, his wings twitching.

I crawl over on his body, feeling his thick ribs and his heart beat.

I plunge the staff.

"I'm whole again…"

_Whole again…_

_Whole…_

I thought the ordeal would be troubling to me in some way, but it just felt like I had crushed an annoying fly. Perhaps he deserved it…

I passed through the kingdom. Although the buildings leered over me and men in corners gave me shifty looks, the sense of former glory could still be seen. After much walking, I came to a derelict palace, resembling a bishop chess piece, decorated with hearts.

I entered.

-----

The array of voices had come to an end, much to Alistair's relief. Yet that relief eroded away as he saw who his 'rescuer' was. A certain flying shark.

_Hi. Aren't you glad I came?_

Alistair folded his arms. "You thought I needed aid? I could have handled them myself."

_I don't think you could. Not without me._

"I don't care about you!" Alistair sneered, freeing himself from the shark's clutches with ease. "You're nothing! Hell, the twit could probably take you in a fight!"

The shark giggled.

"What I'm going through is no laughing matter!"

_Of course it is. Your cowering just now…that was the punchline._

"Yes, this world is a joke, but your sense of humour is even more pathetic than the hedgehog's."

_You're just jealous._

"_That's_ the best retort you can think of? You truly are a twit."

_How do I know you're not a 'twit' yourself? You have a conscience after all._

"And what do my personal affairs have to do with you?"

_I'm just spreading the word. I'm doing what you did for your friend Courage; knock some sense. A life in my employ is a life without a conscience. Guilt tends to ruin your fun, doesn't it?_

"I'm not here to have fun. Now…leave me alone!"

_If you think I'm annoying, why don't you just cut me into ribbons like you did those illusions?_

"Because you're not worth it."

Alistair walked away. He didn't know what was worse, the voices or the giggling.

-----

I assumed that this was where I was to encounter 'Her Imperial Viciousness' or that Mad Hatter or the Troll Queen. Thus, I expected to enter a Koopa-type castle with flaming torches and rivers of boiling lava or more examples of fallen grandeur.

Instead, pitch blackness surrounded me.

No Queens.

No Hatters.

No Cats.

No Alices.

No Tweedles.

Just blackness.

As I stumble around the abyss, making a feeble attempt at finding my way, I felt _something_ around my body. They felt like the legs of a spider, a _huge_ spider. _But spiders don't have this many legs_.

"Who are you?"

"Myself." The spider legs now felt like hands rubbing against my face.

"_I've had enough games_! Who are you?"

"Myself." It felt like worms sliding across my feet.

That voice. It wasn't the shark, it actually sounded friendlier…yet more ethereal…

"Go roundabout, Courage!"

"_Who are you?!_"

"Myself."

I opened my mouth to object, but a flurry of high-pitched female voices pierced the air.

"ALL OUR SISTERS FAR OFF! GATHER HERE!"

Now sharp beaks pecked my face, the wind of flapping wings blowing against my fur.

"SISTERS! MAKE HASTE!"

The beaks grew longer, the wind harsher. The claws sharper, the worms and slugs _slimier_.

Bells clanged. Bible chants filled the air.

Nothing.

Just blackness.

"STOP THIS! COME OUT AND FACE ME!" I put my paw over my mouth at that point.

"_And this we must hear and put up with, when I and my sister make music and dance._"

She was the only thing illuminated.

The Troll Queen.

The spotlight coming from above, and the way it reflected off her eye and scales, made her look…_holy_.

She wasn't alone. Next to her, a limping small creature held onto her dress. It shrouded itself in a suit of white cloth that made it resemble a member of the Ku Klux Klan. It gurgled and made strange noises as it looked up at me.

The Queen stared down at it and kissed it on the forehead. "_What a head he has got on his shoulders, the dear! You'll be father's living image when once you're a man!_"

"Wait, that's your…"

"Yes, Courage." She took a deep breath and regained her former composure. "Don't think _you're_ the only one with a miserable life." The small thing crept back into the shadows from whence it came. The Troll Queen reached for me with that horrid, scaly claw of hers. I just stood there paralyzed, staring at her cold glare.

She tickled me.

Just like Muriel…

"Courage…" I saw tears roll down her eye, but she _looked_ like a crocodile so… "Join me." That's what the Hatter said. That's what the Shadow said. "We don't have to put any more crap. We could improve our lives, we could be _loved_ and _worshipped_."

"The Hatter…the…"

"What are _they_ offering you? I'd keep away from them if I were you, and you'd keep away from them if you were me." She bit her lip. "I'm not _mad_, you know. Join me…"

"Indeed." Another figure crept from the shadows, this one hunched over a walking cane, its every feature covered by rags. "I believe he is truly troll-like."

Queen gasped. "Father? Is that you?"

The ragged figure held a dagger in one hand – claw. "_In your left eye, first, I'll scratch you a bit, till you see awry; but all that you see will seem fine and brave. And then I'll just cut your right window-pane out…_"

"Go away! I thought I was rid of you!"

"My own daughter!"

"_It didn't have to be this way_!"

"I want the dog…"

"He's _mine_."

"_He acts, does he not, even now in a passably troll-like fashion_?"

"YOU'RE AN IDIOT! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! BEGONE!"

The hunchbacked man vanished, leaving Queen on the ground in a fetal position, laughing maniacally.

"_I should think you might well know the pig by its skin! Why, where are your eyes? Can't you see that he's lame in his shank, just as you too are lame in your soul?_"

Trolls sure do talk funny…

After another laugh, she breathed heavily and put her claw on my shoulder. "I'm not mad."

_Bullshit! _

She was just as mad as the rest of them!

Yet I found myself thinking that if I shown her forgiveness, it would balance out what I did to the Jabberwock.

"Such a naughty thing you did," an all too familiar voice spoke from the darkness. Dark Sonic walked into view. "Trying to make excuses for your murderous actions?"

"No.." I replied bluntly.

"I figured as much! You're going to wind up just like that Alice girl."

"No I'm not!" I screamed.

"Those weapons you have are powered by your will. You willed the Jabberwock dead, and the weapon obliged."

"SHUT UP!"

Dark Sonic disappeared, leaving me to my own devices.

I reached outside and to where I faced the Jabberwock, to find the body was gone, a trail of blood. No way that thing could still be alive, but then again, everything else seemed impossible here, so…

"Oh," said the Queen, in a much calmer tone, "That must be the Hatter. The one with that big black and white hat I mean. He enjoys his work."

"He works for you?"

"Yes. Unlike most humans, he actually listens to reason. Hopefully, you will as well."

"I'm not going to join you."

The Queen's face twitched. "I have something to show you."

I should have refused, but I wanted to know as much of her scheme as possible.

Hatter Madigan lay under a swinging axe-tipped pendulum, tied tightly to a stone table, stripped of his weaponry. I could see the frantic fear in his eyes as the pendulum swung back and forth, hungering for his flesh. I tried to undo the straps across his body, but felt a strange shock the second I _touched_ them.

She lied to me. She _was_ mad.

"Stop," said the Troll Queen, "Or I'll lower the blade _right now_. And we wouldn't want that to happen to our _friend_."

"What is this?"

"If you don't agree to my offer, it'll be _curtains_ for him."

"You _are_ mad!"

"From what I've heard, so are _**you**_."

I opened my mouth to answer her back, but I found that nothing escaped my mouth. In fact, my mouth was completely dry. It was that _Queenish_ way she said 'you' that… After a moment of silence, the Queen grabbed my paw and led me to the throne room – _her_ throne room. As she slumped down on the throne, taking a huge breath, I noticed that small creature she brought crouching beside her, clawing her dress.

"I know you're afraid of me," she said.

"Don't flatter yourself."

"You're afraid of me because you don't know me. You think I'm just like the rest of the creatures in this place, trying to drive you mad for the sake of it. And you're probably expecting me to be a naked baby with huge blue hair as well."

I groaned. "You sound like an after-school special."

"You want to leave this place, and I don't blame you. And you also think that if you come back, there will be someone there waiting for you to _love_."

How did she kn…these questions are getting redundant.

"Love is _finite_, Courage, nothing but a deception. You foolishly think that it's going to make you happy for the rest of your life, only to have it bite back in your face."

"What are you talking about?"

She then began to twitch in her seat, kicking her legs and tightly biting her lip. After this display, she grabbed the small thing and held it close to her, kissing it.

"There once was…he was…well…"

"_You mean this is all because of some ex-boyfriend?_"

"_Is it true?"_

"_As true as my name is Peer;-  
as true as that you are a lovely woman!  
Will you have me? You'll see what a fine man I'll be;  
you shall neither tread the loom nor turn the spindle.  
You shall eat all you want, till you're ready to burst.  
I never will drag you about by the hair-__"_

As she tried to reason with that canine, the scenes flashed through her mind over and over again, refusing to stop. That time when she went out, disguised as a beautiful human through magick, seeking that Peer. It was her father's idea, he said he wanted the best for her, but it was all to prove a point, she knew it. And maybe he _wanted_ to have a hybrid grandson…

"_First with my daughter you make too free-__"_

"_There you lie in your throat!__"_

"_You must marry her.__"_

"_Do you dare to accuse me-?__"_

"_It's ever the same with this humankind.  
The spirit you're ready to own with your lips,  
but in fact nothing counts that your fists cannot handle.  
So you really think, then, that lust matters nought?  
Wait; you shall soon have ocular proof of it-__"_

Her species was cursed; all that person had to do was lust for her and she was instantly pregnant. It was a painful birth; the child extracted from her through the blade of a knife. Trolls normally gave birth from laying eggs, but her 'intercourse' was with a mammal, so it wasn't that simple.

Her species was cursed, but no more. Through her practicing magick, she had already eliminated the curse that made them turn to stone in daylight, and now with this world in her clutches, she had _bigger_ plans.

"More than that!" How long did it take her to answer that question? "As you recall, I am the Queen of Trolls, and thus I know what's best for them. For years, us trolls have been under the thumb of those moronic homosapiens, hunted, despised and _cursed_. Now I'm going to make a few _changes_…"

She grabbed me by the back and held me up to her eyeball. "Both of us have been persecuted, tormented and ridiculed because someone thought it was _funny_. Join me now and I'll give you something better than the pretense that is _**love**_. You will help me administer a new kind of justice. You will help teach the 'Wonderlanders' their place in this new order."

"What do you want me to do?"

"As Wondertropolis is rebuilt, my subjects will begin to settle there. As they take up residence, they will drive the humans from their homes and make them their servants. You will help reinforce that status quo, ensuring the troll's lifestyles go smoothly." She forced me to look outside, where holographic billboards boasted her smiling face, with slogans such as 'The Time of the Troll is Today!'

"Refuse, and…" Her grinning face turned towards Madigan's direction.


End file.
